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If the phone doesn't ring it's me. - Jimmy Buffett

Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone. - W H Auden

Egotism - usually just a case of mistaken nonentity. - Barbara Stanwyck

The art of communication is the language of leadership. - James Humes

Well, if I called the wrong number, why did you answer the phone? - James Thurber

Extremists think 'communication' means agreeing with them. - Leo Rosten

If it’s the Psychic Network, why do they need a phone number? - Robin Williams

The most important thing in communication is hearing what isn't said. - Peter F Drucker

Most of life's great moments happen when your phone is in your pocket. - Unknown

Save a boyfriend for a rainy day. And another, in case it doesn't rain. - Mae West

Sometimes the best communication happens when you're on separate bikes. - Unknown

Carol Anne had a bad case of motor-mouth. Amanda wanted to install a muffler. - Tamara Thorne

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception. - Groucho Marx

If we are a country committed to free speech, then why do we have phone bills? - Steven Wright

A lawyer will do anything to win a case, sometimes he will even tell the truth. - Patrick Murray

The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place. - George Bernard Shaw

My wife likes to talk on the phone during sex. She called me from Chicago last night. - Rodney Dangerfield

If you wait until there is another case study in your industry, you will be too late. - Seth Godin

That's the great thing about a tractor. You can't really hear the phone ring. - Jeff Foxworthy

I want to be the reason you look down at your phone and smile. Then walk into a pole. - Unknown

A gorilla with a cellphone riding a bicycle is bound to generate some clever captions. - Steve Breen

No matter how big and bad you are, when a 2-year-old hand you a toy phone, you answer it. - Unknown

I like to keep a bottle of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy. - WC Fields

Everybody has got to die, but I have always believed an exception would be made in my case. - William Saroyan

For three days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off. - Johnny Carson

Today I will live in the moment unless it's unpleasant in which case I will eat a cookie. - Unknown

I never practice my guitar... from time to time I just open the case and throw in a piece of raw meat. - Wes Montgomery

What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet. - Woody Allen

The average pencil is seven inches long, with just a half-inch eraser - in case you thought optimism was dead. - Robert Brault

Whatever happened to a sense of idealism and embracing an idea that will help people and, in this case, children? - Rod Blagojevich

Whatever you have read I have said is almost certainly untrue, except if it is funny, in which case I definitely said it. - Tallulah Bankhead

In case of fire, don't panic. Simply flee the building with the same reckless abandon that occurs each day at quitting time. - Don Delcourt

The five essential entrepreneurial skills for success: Concentration, Discrimination, Organization, Innovation and Communication. - Harold S Geneen

Carry your courage in an easily accessible place, the way you do your cellphone or your wallet. Courage is the ultimate career move. - Anna Quindlen

It is often wonderful how putting down on paper a clear statement of a case helps one to see, not perhaps the way out, but the way in. - Arthur Christopher Benson

She's so fat she's my two best friends. She wears stretch caftans. She's got more chins than the Chinese telephone directory. - Joan Rivers

I knew a girl so ugly that she was known as a two-bagger. That's when you put a bag over your head in case the bag over her head comes off. - Rodney Dangerfield

The process of falling in love at first sight is as final as it is swift in such a case, but the growth of true friendship may be a lifelong affair. - Sarah O Jewett

When I hear of an 'equity' in a case like this, I am reminded of a blind man in a dark room - looking for a black cat - which isn't there. - Charles Bowen

This 'telephone' has too many shortcomings to be seriously considered as a means of communication. The device is inherently of no value to us. - Unknown


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