#1 humor site on the 'net

Beef Teeth

How to cook tough beef

Beef Teeth thanks to Mike King

Turning tough cuts into tender ones

QuotaBills
Teeth are always in style. - Dr. Seuss

TV: Chewing gum for the eyes. - Frank Lloyd Wright

Never slap a man who's chewing tobacco. - Will Rogers

Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth. - Unknown

My friend has false teeth - with braces on them. - Steven Wright

Even pearls are dark before the whiteness of his teeth. - William R. Alger

He lied through his teeth and even his teeth were false. - Phil Callaway

The beef is so undercooked it's starting to eat the salad. - Gordon Ramsay

Flattery is like chewing gum. Enjoy it but don't swallow it. - Hank Ketcham

Every tooth in a man's head is more valuable than a diamond. - Miguel de Cervantes

That Gerald Ford. He can't fart and chew gum at the same time. - Lyndon B. Johnson

The man with a toothache thinks everyone happy whose teeth are sound. - George Bernard Shaw

Now Bart, since you broke Grandpa's teeth, he gets to break yours. - Homer Simpson

It is after you have lost your teeth that you can afford to buy steaks. - Pierre Renoir

If a patient cannot clean his teeth, no dentist can clean them for him. - Martin H. Fischer

The last thing my kids ever did to earn money was lose their baby teeth. - Phyllis Diller

You don't have to brush your teeth - just the ones you want to keep. - Unknown

You know you're getting old if you have more fingers than real teeth. - Rodney Dangerfield

I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. he told me to wear a brown tie. - Rodney Dangerfield

We have bitten off more than we can chew, but we'll chew as fast as we can. - Ian Holloway

An aching tooth is better out than in.
To lose a rotting member is a gain. - Richard Baxter

I still have my teeth. I don't want to lose them at age 61 in some hockey game. - Jim Flaherty

There's nothing like biting off more than you can chew, and then chewing anyway. - Mark Burnett

A man begins cutting his wisdom teeth the first time he bites off more than he can chew. - Herb Caen

The first time I tried organic wheat bread, I thought I was chewing on roofing material. - Robin Williams

I have a constant sweet tooth, so I like anything from the bakery, like cupcakes, cookies. - Carmen Electra

Thrusting my nose firmly between his teeth, I threw him heavily to the ground on top of me. - Mark Twain

The secret to my success is that I bit off more than I could chew and chewed as fast as I could. - Paul Hogan

If a tie is like kissing your sister, losing is like kissing your grandmother with her teeth out. - George Brett

Some old women and men grow bitter with age. The more their teeth drop out, the more biting they get. - George D. Prentice

It is guaranteed to put all teeth on edge, including George Washington's, wherever they might be. - Vincent Canby

I live at the dentist's. I'm on my third set of teeth that they put in with nails and screws. - Charles N. Reilly

You may not realize it when it happens, but a kick in the teeth may be the best thing in the world for you. - Walt Disney

Most men would rather have their bellies opened for five hundred dollars than have a tooth pulled for five. - Martin H. Fischer

Many of us are at the 'metallic' age - gold in our teeth, silver in our hair, and lead in our pants. - Unknown

Men will confess to treason, murder, arson, false teeth, or a wig. How many of them will own up to a lack of humor? - Frank Colby

Nothing soothes me more after a long and maddening course of pianoforte recitals than to sit and have my teeth drilled. - George Bernard Shaw

Tooth decay was a perennial problem that meant a mouthful of silver for patients, and for dentists a pocketful of gold. - Claudia Wallis

In California virtually everyone has had their teeth whitened. If they all smiled at once, they would give us a headache. - Garrison Keillor

Zipper: Two rows of unsmiling teeth that often induce laughter in others, especially when inadvertently left open following a trip to the john - Daffynitions joe-ks.com


Canadian Whiskey

Winter Tree

WrenchWare

Dog Sled

Winter Ready

Bread Dress

Bear With Me

Open-air schools in The Netherlands

Ghost Food

Toothpaste Holder

Two Face

Redneck Porch Hunter

Jeep Words

Elton or Eltoff?

Finger Physio

Fish Eye Lens

Nice Try, China

Urgent World War I Message

Moostake

Online In The 60's

Quotes Matter

Zombie Mug

Redneck Pencil Sharpener

Clint Eastwood's Dog