Bed Friends

A hard dog to keep on the porch. - Hillary Clinton

Have no friends not equal to yourself. - Confucius

The view only changes for the lead dog. - Norman O. Brown

A friend is a present you give yourself. - Robert Louis Stevenson

Every time I paint a portrait I lose a friend. - John Singer Sargent

Don't think to hunt two hares with one dog. - Benjamin Franklin

In the cookie of life, friends are chocolate chips. - Salman Rushdie

I am a brother to dragons, and a companion to owls. - Bible

A friend is someone with whom you dare to be yourself. - Frank Crane

Tell me who your friends are and I will tell you who you are. - Russian Proverb

It's the friends you can call up at 4:00 a.m. that matter. - Marlene Dietrich

Bed is like the womb, only drier and with better TV reception. - Linda Richman

No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend. - Groucho Marx

A good book is the best of friends, the same today and forever. - Martin F Tupper

When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem. - Edward Abbey

A friend is someone who can see through you and still enjoys the show. - Farmer's Almanac

Without friends no one would choose to live, though he had all other goods. - Aristotle

I look like a real bag lady when I go to Starbucks with my dog and get my chai. - Shirley MacLaine

Friends are those rare people who ask how we are and then wait to hear the answer. - Ed Cunningham

Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive. - Anais Nin

Yes, know thyself: in great concerns or small,
Be this thy care, for this, my friend, is all. - Juvenal

The most beautiful discovery true friends make is that they can grow separately without growing apart. - Unknown

The only equipment lack in the modern hospital? Somebody to meet you at the entrance with a handshake! - Martin H. Fischer

Family, religion, friendship... these are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business. - Mr. Burns

My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint. - Erma Bombeck

Dear Diamond,
We all know who is really a girl's best friend.
Yours sincerely,
Chocolate Cake - Unknown

Give me a Murphy bed, a Lazy Susan, a grandfather clock and a bulldog, and I will show you the meaning of comedy. - Jonathan Goldstein

If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around. - Unknown

One of the secrets of a long and fruitful life is to forgive everybody everything every night before you go to bed. - Ann Landers

It is well, when judging a friend, to remember that he is judging you with the same godlike and superior impartiality. - Arnold Bennett

You can always tell a real friend: when you make a fool of yourself, he doesn't feel you've done a permanent job. - Laurence Peter

My friend Sally is a nudist. I went to her house. The closets have no doors. The walls are covered with see-through wallpaper. - Steven Wright

A doctor who cannot take a good history and a patient who cannot give one are in danger of giving and receiving bad treatment. - Unknown

Don't walk behind me; I may not lead. Don't walk in front of me; I may not follow. Just walk beside me and be my friend. - Albert Camus

Faithfulness is essential to the character of a friend: without this there can be no safety in intimacy with and confidence in him. - Samuel Hopkins

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man. - Mark Twain

I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles. - Steven Wright

She's so fat she's my two best friends. She wears stretch caftans. She's got more chins than the Chinese telephone directory. - Joan Rivers

Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship.
She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays. - Red Skelton

If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much. - Mark Twain