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Balloon Man

Ken lost the instructions on how to change his Ostomy Bag

Balloon Man thanks to Keith Blake

Bladder Bags convert to cheap swimming pools

QuotaBills
Turkish Bath: A pool room - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Only dead fish swim with the stream. - Malcolm Muggeridge

Beach Erosion: A case of bad tidings - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

There are plenty more fish in the sea. - English Proverb

Where there is a sea there are pirates. - Greek Proverb

I love shark week, all kids swim for free. - Josh Stern

A roof stretching over the Atlantic Ocean. - Ernest Bevin

I have always had the sea as my playground. - Alexander D. Oen

When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick. - George Burns

If your ship doesn't come in, swim out to it. - Jonathan Winters

Water Polo: What horses play in the swimming pool - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If I melt dry ice, can I swim without getting wet? - Steven Wright

Who is staring at the sea is already sailing a little. - Paul Carvel

When I go to the beach, even the tide won't come in. - Phyllis Diller

This is the place to be - in the land of swimming pools. - David Hockney

You will never get lessons on swimming from a drowning man. - Unknown

You can't cross the sea merely by staring at the water. - Rabindranath Tagore

If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown, too? - George Carlin

The best thing I know between France and England is the sea. - Douglas Jerrold

Mother is the home we come from. She is nature, soil, ocean. - Erich Fromm

The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard. - Steven Wright

They who dive in the sea of affliction, bring up rare pearls. - Charles H Spurgeon

I might survive a few days at sea. Probably not as long as Pi. - Suraj Sharma

The cure for anything is salt water - sweat, tears or the sea. - Isak Dinesen

No man drowns if he perseveres in praying to God, and can swim. - Russian Proverb

Nervous Wreck: What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Sharks are the lions of the sea. They glamorize the oceanic glory. - Munia Khan

Grandma, thank you for being my anchor in this stormy sea of life. - Unknown

Some people could look at a mud puddle and see an ocean with ships. - Zora N Hurston

To be born in India is to arrive into the world swimming in religion. - Ravi Zacharias

The landlocked sea is Greek or Roman, the boundless sea is Portuguese. - Fernando Pessoa

The biggest sin in the world would be if I lost my love for the ocean. - Laird Hamilton

A dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim upstream. - WC Fields

One of my goals in life is to have the biggest residential pool on the planet. - Drake

People who drink to drown their sorrow should be told that sorrow knows how to swim. - Ann Landers

The ocean, the desert, and the jungle are the last strongholds and resorts of peace. - P C Wren

Politicians who complain about the media are like sailors who complain about the sea. - Enoch Powell

If I swim in the ocean, I have a shark thought. Not a bad one, but just a little one. - Tea Leoni

My wife and I went to a hotel where we got a waterbed. My wife called it the Dead Sea. - Henny Youngman

They are all discoverers that think there is no land, when they can see nothing but sea. - Francis Bacon

All great calamities on land and sea have been traced to inspectors who did not inspect. - Kin Hubbard

I could never learn to like her, except on a raft at sea with no other provisions in sight. - Mark Twain

I guess you would say I'd be like the Michael Phelps of swimming if he wasn't there. - Ryan Lochte

No one would have ever crossed the ocean if they could have gotten off the ship in the storm. - Charles F. Ketterling

Language is our meeting place, the sea we live in... it is the common ground of our humanity. - Toby Wolfe

I drank because I wanted to drown my sorrows, but now the damned things have learned to swim. - Frida Kahlo

Writing criticism is to writing fiction and poetry as hugging the shore is to sailing in the open sea. - John Updike

The sun always comes up. Spring always comes after winter. The river always reaches the ocean. Always. - Maxime Lagace

Why don't you ever hear of a lawyer getting attacked by a shark at the beach? Professional courtesy. - Thomas F Shubnell

If you are in the job for glamour, you're in for the shock of your life. The media is a huge shark pool. - Trisha Goddard

Many people cycle or swim to keep trim. But if swimming is so good for the figure, how do you explain whales? - Charles Saatchi

I don't trust the ocean, either; it would kill me as soon as not. It doesn't mean I'm afraid of it. - Maggie Stiefvater

My life amounts to no more than one drop in a limitless ocean. Yet what is any ocean, but a multitude of drops? - David Mitchell

For a great gaming experience, make sure the rails, cushion and slate of the pool table are of the best quality. - Unknown

Sponges grow in the ocean. That just kills me. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be if that didn't happen. - Steven Wright

I was the equivalent of a 98 pound weakling. I would go to the beach and people would throw copies of Byron in my face! - Robin Williams

It's better to swim in the sea below
Than to swing in the air and feed the crow,
Says jolly Ned Teach of Bristol. - Benjamin Franklin

A citizen of America will cross the ocean to fight for democracy, but won't cross the street to vote in a national election. - Bill Vaughan

My bounty is as boundless as the sea,
My love as deep; the more I give to thee,
The more I have, for both are infinite. - William Shakespeare

The trout enjoys the river,
The whale enjoys the sea,
And dogs love most an old lamp-post,
But you're my cup of tea. - W H Auden

You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is like an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty. - Mohandas Gandhi

Be as beneficent as the sun or the sea, but if your rights as a rational being are trenched on, die on the first inch of your territory. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Morals are not, like bacon, to be cured by hanging; nor, like wine, to be improved by sea voyages; nor, like honey, to be preserved in cells. - William Taylor

Today was about chasing sun-rays, beach waves, and sunsets. All things beautiful that give you peace are worth chasing. Everything else isn't. - April M. Monterrosa

I'll paddle board, swim in the ocean, roll in the sand, soak up the sun, eat good food, be with friends and family and go fishing with my dad. - Behati Prinsloo


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