#1 humor site on the 'net

Bag Deflation

Chinese cosmetics - an eye lift in a tube

Bag Deflation thanks to Roy Turkington

Sign of a Chinese translator

QuotaBills
Monogamy: A synonym for monotony. - Gregory Nunn

What's another word for thesaurus? - Steven Wright

Dance is the hidden language of the soul. - Martha Graham

A story is told as much by silence as by speech. - Susan Griffin

I will not down to posterity talking bad grammar. - Benjamin Disraeli

I have often regretted my speech, never my silence. - Xenocrates

Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing. - Robert Benchley

The adjective is the banana peel of the parts of speech. - Clifton Fadiman

Real programmers can write assembly code in any language. - Larry Wall

All poetry is a reproduction of the tones of actual speech. - Robert Frost

There is no language like the Irish for soothing and quieting. - John Millington Synge

An animal's eyes have the power to speak a great language. - Martin Buber

You're not a star until they can spell your name in Karachi. - Humphrey Bogart

Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see. - Mark Twain

Symptoms are the body's mother tongue; signs are in a foreign language. - John Brown

If I'm traveling, I'll pack socks in my bag - really cute furry ones. - Nicki Minaj

Under all speech that is good for anything there lies a silence that is better. - Thomas Carlyle

A synonym is a word you use when you can't spell the first word you thought of. - Burt Bacharach

I personally think we developed language because of our deep inner need to complain. - Jane Wagner

Never make fun of someone who speaks broken English. It means they know another language. - H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous. - Ingrid Bergman

Marriage is like putting your hand into a bag of snakes in the hope of pulling out an eel. - Leonardo da Vinci

I never made a mistake in grammar but once in my life, and as soon as I done it. I seen it. - Carl Sandburg

A person's name is, to that person, the sweetest, most important sound in any language. - Dale Carnegie

I'm thankful for the three ounce Ziploc bag, so that I have somewhere to put my savings. - Paula Poundstone

Never lose an opportunity of seeing anything beautiful, for beauty is God's handwriting. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Crafting fills my life, and my closets, and my drawers, and every empty tote bag in the house. - Unknown

If we do not believe in freedom of speech for those we despise, we do not believe in it at all. - Noam Chomsky

Human language appears to be a unique phenomenon, without significant analogue in the animal world. - Noam Chomsky

I, schooled in misery, know many purifying rites, and I know where speech is proper and where silence. - Aeschylus

Violence of language leads to violence of action. Angry men seldom fight if their tongues do not lead the fray. - Charles V Roman

To suppress free speech is a double wrong. It violates the rights of the hearer as well as those of the speaker. - Frederick Douglass

Language, identity, place, home: these are all of a piece - just different elements of belonging and not-belonging. - Jhumpa Lahiri

The longest word in the English language is the one following the phrase, "And now a word from our sponsor." - Hal Eaton

The protean nature of the computer is such that it can act like a machine or like a language to be shaped and exploited. - Alan Kay

The nine most terrifying words in the English language are,
"I'm from the government and I'm here to help." - Ronald Reagan

I don't care how many beauty treatments you have, I don't care which bag you're carrying - you have to have a dress. - Vivienne Westwood

All worthwhile men have good thoughts, good ideas, and good intentions, but precious few of them ever translate those into action. - John Hancock Field

I remain convinced that obstinate addiction to ordinary language in our private thoughts is one of the main obstacles to progress in philosophy. - Bertrand Russell

Mathematicians are like Frenchmen: whatever you say to them they translate into their own language and forthwith it is something entirely different. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe


High Strung Violinist

Deodorized Pads

Leteracy Night

Redneck Baby Carriage

Stealth Readers

Good Stuff Or Else

Productive Computers

Poodle Power

Trust Issues

Bacon Soda Sales

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

My Time

Lerts

Great White Socks

That's Not A Bagpipe!

Paint Protection

Balanced Writer

Jolly Good Recovery

Tylenol Ban

In Perfect Harmony

Kiosk Hours

Borderline Stupidity

Inside Outside Thinking

Kia vs Nokia