QuotaBillsAfford: Popular type of car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Parking is such street sorrow. - Herb Caen
Chop your own path. Get off the car track. - A.Y. Jackson
Broom parking only; all others will be toad. - Unknown
Canada is like a loft apartment over a really great party. - Robin Williams
You should never have more children than you have car windows. - Erma Bombeck
I had to stop driving my car for a while - the tires got dizzy. - Steven Wright
Give a landlord an inch and he'll build an apartment house. - American Proverb
The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces. - Will Rogers
The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. - Dudley Moore
A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who has never owned a car. - Carrie Snow
It is sometimes as dangerous to be run into by a microbe as by a trolley car. - J.J. Walsh
A private railroad car is not an acquired taste. One takes to it immediately. - Eleanor R. Belmont
I installed a skylight in my apartment. The people who live above me are furious. - Steven Wright
When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife. - Prince Philip
You don't have to carry a designer bag that costs more than a car to look cool. - Kesha
The lead car is absolutely unique, except for the one behind it which is identical. - Murray Walker
My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. It's in the apartment somewhere. - Steven Wright
I have nothing but troubles with my car. Every Sunday I take my family out for a push. - Rodney Dangerfield
Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke
A real patriot is the fellow who gets a parking ticket and rejoices that the system works. - Bill Vaughan
The dent in his car is hardly cold and he's coming over here to claim his pound of fish. - Archie Bunker
Yesterday I parked my car in a tow-away zone... when I came back the entire area was missing. - Steven Wright
A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after. - Peter DeVries
Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. - Erma Bombeck
I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving. - Steven Wright
I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes. - Homer Simpson
Poverty: 1. A state of mind sometimes induced by a neighbour's new car; 2. One thing that money can't buy. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
For all of the fights I have had in my life, both on and off the ice, I have only been in the back of a cop car once. - Tie Domi
I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. - Steven Wright
I do get scared of the dentist, so a drive-through dentist might make me feel more at home. If I got to stay in my car. - Jessica Pare
My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck
I'm not a car guy. The subway gets me where I need to go efficiently and cheaply, and I don't worry about traffic. - Joe Scarborough
In most homes, the father is concerned with parking space, the children with outer space, and the mother with closet space. - Evan Esar
Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down. - George Carlin
It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. - Ben Bergor
I have an answering machine in my car. It says, "I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out." - Steven Wright
A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. - Theodore Roosevelt
A car hits a Jewish man. The paramedic rushes over and says, "Are you comfortable?" The guy says, "I make a good living." - Henny Youngman
When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving. - Steven Wright