#1 humor site on the 'net

Ankle Warning

Custom home alarm systems that work from the ground up

Ankle Warning thanks to Nick Chopra

Guard dog security for midgets

QuotaBills
Let sleeping dogs lie. - French Proverb

Dogs have masters. Cats have staff. - Unknown

A dog has the soul of a philosopher. - Plato

Our dog died from licking our wedding picture. - Phyllis Diller

If you want a friend in Washington, get a dog. - Harry S Truman

Throw physic to the dogs; I'll none of it. - William Shakespeare

If you can't be a good example, be a warning. - Unknown

Flatterers looks like friends, as wolves like dogs. - George Chapman

I love a dog. He does nothing for political reasons. - Will Rogers

Anybody who hates dogs and babies can't be all bad. - Leo Rosten

A woman's best protection is a little money of her own. - Clare B Luce

A hot dog at the ballpark is better than a steak at the Ritz. - Humphrey Bogart

No warning can save a people determined to grow suddenly rich. - Lord Overstone

Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called "Ego". - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

The dog who meets with a good master is the happier of the two. - Maurice Maeterlinck

When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem. - Edward Abbey

I would uphold the law if for no other reason but to protect myself. - Thomas More

I have nothing against dogs. I just hate rugs that go squish-squish. - Phyllis Diller

Old age means realizing you will never own all the dogs you wanted to. - Joe Gores

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult. - Rita Rudner

The conventional view serves to protect us from the painful job of thinking. - John Kenneth Galbraith

Idealism, alas, does not protect one from ignorance, dogmatism, and foolishness. - Sidney Hook

Life is like a dogsled team. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes. - Lewis Grizzard

If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to be a horrible warning. - Catherine Aird

Of all the tasks of government, the most basic is to protect its citizens from violence. - John Foster Dulles

Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful. - Ann Landers

A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down. - Robert Benchley

We are just tenants on this earth. We have been given a new lease, and a warning from the landlord. - Unknown

Cigarette sales would drop to zero overnight if the warning said, "Cigarettes contain fat." - Dave Barry

There are two things in this world that don't last long: dogs chasing cars, and pros putting for pars. - Lee Travino

You can't reach old age by another man's road. My habits protect my life but they would assassinate you. - Mark Twain

If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around. - Unknown

We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet, so we bought a dog. It's cheaper and you get more feet. - Rita Rudner

Enthusiasm is the best protection in any situation. Wholeheartedness is contagious. Give yourself if you wish to get others. - David Seabury

I still play hockey every now and then, and I still golf. But my biggest exercise is walking my big dog in the park every day. - Michael J. Fox

My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives. - Rita Rudner

Dogs laugh, but the laugh with their tails. What puts man in a higher state of evolution is that he has got his laugh on the right end. - Max Eastman

In a world of complex threats, our security and leadership depends on all elements of our power - including strong and principled diplomacy. - Barack Obama

Social Security's not the hard one to solve. Medicare, that is the gorilla in the room, and you've got to put all of it on the table. - Joe Biden

If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much. - Mark Twain


Tartan Headphones

Husband Quarantine

Aussie Salad

Greta on Chopsticks

Darkness Eliminator

Don't Touch Your Face

Pet Dentist

Falcon Resting in a Tree

Wine Day

Fishnet Table

Sink Lynx

No Swimming

Going Up

The Honey Truck

Flying is so Overrated

Wear Fur Without Killing Animals

Nutella Soother

Teaching Hotle

Cowgirl High Heels

Coast Guard Cutbacks

Woodpecker Trio

Evolution and Philosophy

Pizza Cutter

Polite Breakfast