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Animal Puns

Puns fit for the Joe-kster

Animal Puns thanks to Jan Newell

Animal Puns thanks to Jan Newell

Animal Puns thanks to Jan Newell

Animal Puns thanks to Jan Newell

Animal Puns thanks to Jan Newell

Animal Puns thanks to Jan Newell

Animal Puns thanks to Jan Newell

QuotaBills
Life is laughter. - Theodore Melfi

Gags die, humor doesn't. - Jack Benny

Laughter is an instant vacation. - Milton Berle

Some laughter comes from escaped horror. - Edward St Aubyn

A poor joke must invent its own laughter. - Latin Proverb

Our humor turns our anger into a fine art. - Mary Kay Blakely

I think God has a tremendous sense of humor. - Rainn Wilson

You have as much laughter as you have faith. - Martin Luther

Humor is one of the best ingredients of survival. - Aung San Suu Kyi

Having an animal in your life makes you a better human. - Rachel Ray

Laughter is binary: it either happens or it doesn't. - David Dobkin

This is a feminist bookstore. There is no humour section. - John Callahan

All animals are equal, but some are more equal than others. - George Orwell

A sense of humor is a major defense against minor troubles. - Mignon McLaughlin

A sense of humour is the ability to laugh at one's self. - Charlie Chaplin

Everywhere animals are in chains, but we image them as free. - Carol J Adams

All animals are minor variations on a very particular theme. - Richard Dawkins

The best thing about animals is that they don't talk much. - Thornton Wilder

Good humor is one of the preservatives of our peace and tranquility. - Thomas Jefferson

Animals don't hate, and we're supposed to be better than them. - Elvis Presley

We do have a zeal for laughter in most situations, give or take a dentist. - Joseph Heller

What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant? - George Carlin

She knew what all smart women knew: Laughter made you live better and longer. - Gail Parent

I imagine hell like this: Italian punctuality, German humour and English wine. - Peter Ustinov

Humour is a rubber sword - it allows you to make a point without drawing blood. - Mary Hirsch

Animals are such agreeable friends - they ask no questions, they pass no criticisms. - George Eliot

Faith handles the ultimate incongruities of life, humor handles the more immediate ones. - William S Coffin

I think superheroes are heroes with flaws, and in their flaws, there is a sense of humor. - Peter Segal

Moose: An animal that has a head and horns on one end and a living room wall on the other - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Man alone suffers so excruciatingly in the world that he was compelled to invent laughter. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

I definitely gravitate toward people who use laughter to pull themselves out of the abyss. - Lea Thompson

One should take good care not to grow too wise for so great a pleasure of life as laughter. - Joseph Addison

One of the most important gifts we have in television - the ability to heal through laughter. - Soleil M Frye

Transparency, honesty, kindness, good stewardship, even humor, work in businesses at all times. - John Gerzema

If a man aspires towards a righteous life, his first act of abstinence is from injury to animals. - Leo Tolstoy

The beauty of the world has two edges, one of laughter, one of anguish, cutting the heart asunder. - Virginia Woolf

A laugh is a surprise. And all humor is physical. I was always athletic, so that came naturally to me. - Chevy Chase

Mark my words, when a society has to resort to the lavatory for its humour, the writing is on the wall. - Alan Bennett

A well-developed sense of humor is the pole that adds balance to your steps as you walk the tightrope of life. - William Arthur Ward

You can't deny laughter. When it comes, it plops down in your favorite chair and stays as long as it wants. - Stephen King

I love sushi. But after too much of it, it just starts to taste like a dead animal that hasn't been cooked. - Amy Lee

Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals... except the weasel. - Homer Simpson

There is nothing like a gleam of humor to reassure you that a fellow human being is ticking inside a strange face. - Eva Hoffman

It has been said that man is a rational animal. All my life I have been searching for evidence which could support this. - Bertrand Russell

Audience laughter, when it's deserved, acts as a sort of fairy dust that makes funny moments not just funny, but joyous. - Graham Linehan

Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing. - William James

Suspense is very important. Even though this is humor and they're short stories, that theory of building suspense is still there. - Sergio Aragones

God gave unto the Animals
A wisdom past our power to see:
Each knows innately how to live,
Which we must learn laboriously. - Margaret Atwood

Zipper: Two rows of unsmiling teeth that often induce laughter in others, especially when inadvertently left open following a trip to the john - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Man is the only animal who enjoys the consolation of believing in a next life; all other animals enjoy the consolation of not worrying about it. - Robert Brault


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