#1 humor site on the 'net

Almost Harmless Live Reptile

Crazy items confiscated at Customs

Almost Harmless Live Reptile thanks to Rawleen Moreno

How customs officers deal with snapping turtles

QuotaBills
If you've got a talent, protect it. - Jim Carrey

It is not death that alarms me, but dying. - Michel De Montaigne

Those who trade liberty for security have neither. - John Adams

Try to be like the turtle - at ease in your own shell. - Bill Copeland

Protect your enthusiasm from the negativity of others. - H. Jackson Brown Jr.

Lawyers are men whom we hire to protect us from lawyers. - Elbert Hubbard

Take a walk with a turtle. And behold the world in pause. - Bruce Feiler

A woman's best protection is a little money of her own. - Clare B Luce

I'm in the turtle's race. My journey is a marathon. - Omari Hardwick

There is no security in this life. There is only opportunity. - Douglas MacAurthur

I would uphold the law if for no other reason but to protect myself. - Thomas More

We spend our time searching for security and hate it when we get it. - John Steinbeck

The duty of a patriot is to protect his country from its government. - Edward Abbey

Behold the turtle. He only makes progress when he sticks his neck out. - James Bryant Conant

The conventional view serves to protect us from the painful job of thinking. - John Kenneth Galbraith

Anytime you see a turtle up on top of a fence post, you know he had some help. - Alex Haley

He prefers the security of known misery to the misery of unfamiliar insecurity. - Sheldon B. Kopp

Idealism, alas, does not protect one from ignorance, dogmatism, and foolishness. - Sidney Hook

Security is mostly a superstition. Life is either a daring adventure or nothing. - Helen Keller

A memorandum isn't written to inform the receiver, but to protect the writer. - Dean Acheson

It is true greatness to have in one the frailty of a man and the security of a god. - Lucius Annaeus Seneca

I wear a fun sock when I travel to give the security staff a well-deserved chuckle. - Chelsea Peretti

Real joy seems to me almost as unlike security or prosperity as it is unlike agony. - C S Lewis

You cannot protect yourself from sadness without protecting yourself from happiness. - Jonathan S Foer

Of all the tasks of government, the most basic is to protect its citizens from violence. - John Foster Dulles

I cannot think of any need in childhood as strong as the need for a father's protection. - Sigmund Freud

I do not think there is any silver bullet to solving the technology side of the security equation. - John W. Thompson

Hard work is the soundest investment. It provides a neat security for your widow's next husband. - Unknown

Relying on the government to protect your privacy is like asking a peeping tom to install your window blinds. - John P Barlow

Tariff: A scale of taxes on imports, designed to protect the domestic producer against the greed of his consumer - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The only security men can have for their political liberty, consists in keeping their money in their own pockets. - Lysander Spooner

Tariff: A scale of taxes on imports, designed to protect the domestic producer against the greed of his consumer. - Ambrose Bierce

If you can't even acknowledge that you have to fix social security, that's not a very good starting point. - Rob Portman

People confuse amassing money with security, but it is not so. What a pity to confuse real security with making money. - Billy Graham

Enthusiasm is the best protection in any situation. Wholeheartedness is contagious. Give yourself if you wish to get others. - David Seabury

My best security is within the munitions of an immutable Jehovah, where His unalterable promises stand like giant walls of rock. - Charles H Spurgeon

Politics is the gentle art of getting votes from the poor and campaign funds from the rich, by promising to protect each from the other. - Oscar Ameringer

Love as powerful as your mother's for you leaves its own mark ... to have been loved so deeply ... will give us some protection forever. - J K Rowling

In a world of complex threats, our security and leadership depends on all elements of our power - including strong and principled diplomacy. - Barack Obama

Social Security's not the hard one to solve. Medicare, that is the gorilla in the room, and you've got to put all of it on the table. - Joe Biden


2022 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

VW Snow Tractor

Math Riddle

Maiden Rock Illusion

Radioactive Games

Winter Bystander

Snow Good

Which One's Real?

Enough Art Supplies

Chinese Watermelon Sculptures

Sea Sand Art

Spot the Mistake

Image Challenge

Stroller Snow Tires

Is The Warming Still Global?

Snow Drifts Inside Your Car

Redneck Potter's Wheel

Winter Sucks

Chainsaw Art

Spot the Hidden Cell Tower

How Cumulus Clouds Are Formed

Snow Is Coming

Spot The Clock

Gay Football