#1 humor site on the 'net

Age Comes With Convenience

Unusual gifts for the crossword puzzle enthusiast

Age Comes With Convenience thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

QuotaBills
The computer is a moron. - Peter F Drucker

Old age is life's parody. - Simone de Beauvoir

Old age is a wonderful disguise. - Katherine Applegate

Cherish youth, but trust old age. - Pueblo Proverb

I'm not aging, I'm marinating. - Unknown

I want to die young at a ripe old age. - Ashley Montagu

You can't write poetry on the computer. - Quentin Tarantino

Old age is like underwear, it creeps up on you. - Unknown

Old age is not so bad when you consider the alternative. - Maurice Chevalier

Old age is when the liver spots show through your gloves. - Phyllis Diller

One of the many pleasures of old age is giving things up. - Malcolm Muggeridge

Fourty is the old age of youth; 50 is the youth of old age. - Victor Hugo

There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home. - Ken Olson

I'm aging like fine wine. I'm getting complex and fruity. - Unknown

Old age is the most unexpected of all things that happen to a man. - Leon Trotsky

Don't let aging get you down. It's too hard to get back up. - John Wagner

Forget aging. If you're six feet above ground, it's a good day. - Faith Hill

In youth we run into difficulties; in old age difficulties run into us. - Josh Billings

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing. - Emo Philips

I will never be an old man. To me, old age is always 15 years older than I am. - Francis Bacon

W.C. Fields has a profound respect for old age. Especially when it's bottled. - Gene Fowler

Those who love deeply never grow old; they may die of old age, but they die young. - Dorothy Canfield Fisher

Children are a great comfort in your old age, and they help you reach it faster, too. - Lionel Kauffman

Please leave my computer alone. The only cookies I want to get are the ones I can eat. - Heather Wolf

There is no pleasure worth forgoing just for an extra three years in the geriatric ward. - John Mortimer

Aging is the extraordinary process where you become the person you always should have been. - David Bowie

The aging process has you firmly in its grasp if you never get the urge to throw a snowball. - Doug Larson

There are only three things that can kill a farmer: lightning, rolling over in a tractor, and old age. - Bill Bryson

The elderly don't drive that badly; they're just the only ones with time to do the speed limit. - Jason Love

Autumn is really the best of the seasons; and I'm not sure that old age isn't the best part of life. - C S Lewis

They've finally come up with the perfect office computer. If it makes a mistake, it blames another computer. - Milton Berle

You can't reach old age by another man's road. My habits protect my life but they would assassinate you. - Mark Twain

The secret of genius is to carry the spirit of the child into old age, which means never losing your enthusiasm. - Aldous Huxley

I'm grateful that I never was that senior athlete who realized she'd done nothing but train all her life. - Clara Hughes

Lord save us all from old age and broken health and a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting out blossoms. - Mark Twain

May you keep dreaming until the day you die. May imagination overtake memory. May you die young at a ripe old age. - Mark Batterson

People who work crossword puzzles know that if they stop making progress, they should put the puzzle down for a while. - Marilyn vos Savant

Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow internet service to see who they really are. - Will Ferrell

Boat Anchor: 1. Thrown out when you need it, and taken in when you don't; 2. An old computer so useless that it needs to go to sea. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Not one of them who took up in his youth with his opinion that there are no gods ever continued until old age faithful to his conviction. - Plato


Head Butt

World Cup Elephant

Alternative To Spanking

That Takes Some Skill

The Ass Family

Kids Meal

Stretch Exercises You Can Do At Your Desk

A Foot Of Sun

Sushi Spine

Police Targeting

Happy Bird's Eye UU

Moose Parking

Glassman

Paint Pants

World Cup Attention Getter

Fear Of Light

Bird Condo

Very Cold Beer

Seniors Bike Club

Watching The World Cup

Friendly BBQ Reminder

Geek Piano

Ugly Haircut

XL Safety Shoes