Zipbridge

England is a nation of shopkeepers. - Napoleon Bonaparte

The bridge to the future in the phallus. - D.H. Lawrence

Praise the bridge that carried you over. - George Colman

Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so. - Douglas Adams

Noise creates illusions. Silence brings truth. - Maxime Lagace

Britain's goal is not to survive, but to prevail. - Winston Churchill

The monarchical institution in England is immensely valuable. - Malcolm Muggeridge

In England there are sixty different religions and only one sauce. - Francesco Caracciolo

To eat well in England you should have breakfast three times a day. - W Somerset Maugham

Some of my best friends are illusions. Been sustaining me for years. - Sheila Ballantyne

Britain's most useful role is somewhere between bee and dinosaur. - Harold MacMillan

If an Englishman gets run down by a truck he apologizes to the truck. - Jackie Mason

LAN: To borrow as in, 'Hey Delbert! LAN me yore truck.'” - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Our separation from each other is an optical illusion of consciousness. - Albert Einstein

Never say never because limits, like fears, are often just an illusion. - Michael Jordan

You ain't going nowhere, son. You ought to go back to driving a truck. - Jim Denny

Let everyone leave all the guns - British guns and Irish guns - outside the door. - Martin McGuinness

The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place. - George Bernard Shaw

Free will is an illusion. People always choose the perceived path of greatest pleasure. - Scott Adams

I don't have lungs anymore. Just two spare bags that flew in under a bridge one day. - Dylan Moran

To cure the British disease with socialism was like trying to cure leukemia with leeches. - Margaret Thatcher

If I was the governor of New Jersey, the George Washington Bridge would not have been shut. - Donald Trump

The noblest prospect which a Scotsman ever sees is the high road that leads him to England. - Samuel Johnson

To disagree with three-fourths of the British public is one of the first requisites of sanity. - Oscar Wilde

Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build a bridge even where there is no river. - Nikita Khrushchev

Ireland is a small but insuppressible island half an hour nearer the sunset than Great Britain. - Thomas Kettle

The illusion that the times that were are better than those that are has probably pervaded all ages. - Horace Greeley

I know why the sun never sets on the British Empire: God wouldn't trust an Englishman in the dark. - Duncan Spaeth

Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone you may still exist but you have ceased to live. - Mark Twain

Sometimes people don't want to hear the truth because they don't want their illusions destroyed. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

In America, the policeman is a working-class hero. In England, the policeman is a working-class traitor. - Martin Amis

Attachment is the great fabricator of illusions; reality can be attained only by someone who is detached. - Simone Weil

Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pick-up truck, and end up with a station wagon. - Tim Allen

Larry Gogan: 'With what town in Britain is Shakespeare associated?'
Contestant: 'Hamlet'. - Larry Gogan

I welcome him like I welcome cold sores. He's from England, he's angry, and he's got Mad Power Disease. - Paula Abdul

He that cannot forgive others breaks the bridge over which he must pass himself, for every man has need to be forgiven. - Thomas Fuller

She ran after the garbage truck yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?"
The driver said, "No, jump in!" - Red Skelton

The man who invented the zip fastener was today honoured with a lifetime peerage. He will now be known as the Lord of the Flies. - Ronnie Corbett

Everyone needs a coach. It doesn't matter whether you're a basketball player, a tennis player, a gymnast or a bridge player. - Bill Gates

In England people actually try to be brilliant at breakfast. That is so dreadful of them! Only dull people are brilliant at breakfast. - Oscar Wilde