Zipbridge

England is a nation of shopkeepers. - Napoleon Bonaparte

Life's a game but Bridge is serious. - Unknown

The bridge to the future in the phallus. - D.H. Lawrence

In Seine: Those who jump off a Paris bridge - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

He was not only a bore; he bored for England. - Malcolm Muggeridge

England can never be ruined except by a Parliament. - Lord Burleigh

Losing an illusion makes you wiser than finding a truth. - Ludwig Borne

I didn't know he was dead; I thought he was British. - Unknown

What a strange illusion to suppose that beauty is goodness. - Leo Tolstoy

Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one. - Albert Einstein

You only have to survive in England and all is forgiven you. - Alan Bennett

Rain is the one thing the British do better than anybody else. - Marilyn French

Britain's last gold medal was a bronze in 1952 in Helsinki. - Nigel Starmer-Smith

Some of my best friends are illusions. Been sustaining me for years. - Sheila Ballantyne

England and America are two countries separated by a common language. - George Bernard Shaw

Britain's most useful role is somewhere between bee and dinosaur. - Harold MacMillan

If an Englishman gets run down by a truck he apologizes to the truck. - Jackie Mason

England is an empire, Germany is a nation, a race, France is a person. - Jules Michelet

I see religion more as a truck stop on your way to figuring out who you are. - Brad Pitt

The Irish and British, they love satire, it's a large part of the culture. - Ben Nicholson

Let everyone leave all the guns - British guns and Irish guns - outside the door. - Martin McGuinness

On the Continent people have good food; in England people have good table manners. - George Mikes

The British have a remarkable talent for keeping calm, even when there is no crisis. - Franklin P Jones

Free will is an illusion. People always choose the perceived path of greatest pleasure. - Scott Adams

I don't have lungs anymore. Just two spare bags that flew in under a bridge one day. - Dylan Moran

To cure the British disease with socialism was like trying to cure leukemia with leeches. - Margaret Thatcher

Bridge is a game that separates the men from the boys. It also separates husbands and wives. - George Burns

To disagree with three-fourths of the British public is one of the first requisites of sanity. - Oscar Wilde

Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build a bridge even where there is no river. - Nikita Khrushchev

Ireland is a small but insuppressible island half an hour nearer the sunset than Great Britain. - Thomas Kettle

I know why the sun never sets on the British Empire: God wouldn't trust an Englishman in the dark. - Duncan Spaeth

Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone you may still exist but you have ceased to live. - Mark Twain

Sometimes people don't want to hear the truth because they don't want their illusions destroyed. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

In America, the policeman is a working-class hero. In England, the policeman is a working-class traitor. - Martin Amis

Attachment is the great fabricator of illusions; reality can be attained only by someone who is detached. - Simone Weil

Larry Gogan: 'With what town in Britain is Shakespeare associated?'
Contestant: 'Hamlet'. - Larry Gogan

The Swedish engineer who invented the zip fastener made a greater intellectual leap than many scientists do in a lifetime. - Martin Rees

The man who invented the zip fastener was today honoured with a lifetime peerage. He will now be known as the Lord of the Flies. - Ronnie Corbett

Jawjuh: (Southern) A highly flammable state just north of Florida. Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck." - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Lincolnshire is the Idaho of England. You were either going to drive a tractor for the rest of your life or head for the city to work in a factory. - Bernie Taupin