Zidane Is Fast

France is a dog-hole. - William Shakespeare

The French: Germans with good food. - Fran Lebowitz

Victor: Your football team's weekly opponent - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

France was a long despotism tempered by epigrams. - Thomas Carlyle

Wrestlers are a bunch of wanna-be football players. - Brian Bosworth

Foosball is a combination of soccer and shish kabobs. - Mitch Hedberg

Australian Kiss: Same as French Kiss, only down under - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Fan Belt: What a soccer fan uses to keep his trousers up - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Baseball is what we were, football is what we have become. - Mary McGrory

I played a little basketball. Some football in junior high. - Clint Eastwood

My husband is a general's chauffeur somewhere in France. - Lillie Langtry

As the French used to say, "the peace of resistance." - Archie Bunker

Football is a game designed to keep coal miners off the streets. - Jimmy Breslin

Mick Jagger could French-kiss a moose. He has child-bearing lips. - Joan Rivers

It is better to have died a small boy than to fumble this football. - John Heisman

Football Season: The time of the year when girls whistle at men in sweaters - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

There are ways of singing in English that are not just the same as in French. - Coeur de Pirate

I believe in Coach Louis Wong. He is so much more than just a football coach. - Stephen Covey

Football Game: A sport where a spectator takes four quarters to finish a fifth - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The French invented the only known cure for dandruff. It is called the guillotine. - P G Wodehouse

To God I speak Spanish, to women Italian, to men French, and to my horse - German. - Emperor Charles V

If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead. - Erma Bombeck

Ticket Scalper: A man who enables you to see one football game for the price of five - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein. - Joe Thiesmann

So like any football or basketball coach, you always believe you're going to win. - Colin Powell

In life, as in football, you won't go far unless you know where the goalposts are. - Arnold H Glasgow

I asked my hairdresser what would look good on me. She says a Los Angeles Rams football helmet. - Phyllis Diller

I like spaghetti bolognese, I like baked beans on toast. I hate French food. I hate fancy food. - Simon Cowell

Never doubt the courage of the French. They were the ones who discovered that snails are edible. - Doug Larson

You know how kids dream of being soccer players or actors? Well, my dream was to be a sushi chef. - Nobu Matsuhisa

Football: A sport that bears the same relation to education that bullfighting does to agriculture - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I started out as a football player. I liked to inflict pain. In basketball, it was the same thing. - Shaquille O'Neal

I don't understand American football at all. It looks like all-in wrestling with crash helmets. - Sting

The Kingdom of France will be thus ruled by King Charles VII... He will enter Paris in good company. - Joan of Arc

I had a meal last night. I ordered everything in French - surprised everybody, it was a Chinese restaurant. - Tommy Cooper

May I never be drunk enough to try to play a foosball table alone like that dude over there who actually is. - Dr. Okay Times

Shoulder Pads: The part of a football player's uniform designed to make him look as fearsome as a female executive - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If I were God and I were trying to create a nation that would get up the nostrils of the Englishman, I would create the French. - Julian Barnes

My whole body is a wreck. I've injured myself so many times with jujitsu, skateboarding, football. I guess I like to live hard. - Scott Caan

Baseball happens to be a game of cumulative tension but football, basketball and hockey are played with hand grenades and machine guns. - John Leonard