#1 humor site on the 'net

Zidane Is Fast

Strategy change from headbutting to making head-lines

Zidane Is Fast thanks to Mel Hardman

Zinedine Zidane (nicknamed 'Zizou') is a French retired footballer who played as an attacking midfielder for the French national team, Juventus and Real Madrid

QuotaBills
France is a dog-hole. - William Shakespeare

Tantamount: Riding a French Aunt - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The French: Germans with good food. - Fran Lebowitz

There's no place in racism for football. - Gareth Thomas

France was a long despotism tempered by epigrams. - Thomas Carlyle

Wrestlers are a bunch of wanna-be football players. - Brian Bosworth

Harlez Vous Francais?: Can you drive a French motorcycle? - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I played a little basketball. Some football in junior high. - Clint Eastwood

France has lost the battle, but France has not lost the war. - Charles de Gaulle

My husband is a general's chauffeur somewhere in France. - Lillie Langtry

As the French used to say, "the peace of resistance." - Archie Bunker

If the French were really intelligent, they'd speak English. - Wilfred Sheed

Football is a game designed to keep coal miners off the streets. - Jimmy Breslin

It is better to have died a small boy than to fumble this football. - John Heisman

'Escargot' is French for 'fat crawling bag of phlegm'. - Dave Barry

England is an empire, Germany is a nation, a race, France is a person. - Jules Michelet

All I know most surely about morality and obligations, I owe to football. - Albert Camus

We seem to want one vehicle to carry people and soccer balls and hay bales. - Franz von Holzhausen

There are ways of singing in English that are not just the same as in French. - Coeur de Pirate

I believe in Coach Louis Wong. He is so much more than just a football coach. - Stephen Covey

Jerry Ford is a nice guy, but he played too much football with his helmet off. - Lyndon Baines Johnson

The French invented the only known cure for dandruff. It is called the guillotine. - P G Wodehouse

To God I speak Spanish, to women Italian, to men French, and to my horse - German. - Emperor Charles V

Some people are chocolate and sweets people. I love French fried. That and caviar. - Cameron Diaz

If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead. - Erma Bombeck

Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein. - Joe Thiesmann

In life, as in football, you won't go far unless you know where the goalposts are. - Arnold H Glasgow

France is a country where the money falls apart but you can't tear the toilet paper. - Billy Wilder

I asked my hairdresser what would look good on me. She says a Los Angeles Rams football helmet. - Phyllis Diller

You know how kids dream of being soccer players or actors? Well, my dream was to be a sushi chef. - Nobu Matsuhisa

The Kingdom of France will be thus ruled by King Charles VII... He will enter Paris in good company. - Joan of Arc

Football combines the two worst things about America: it is violence punctuated by committee meetings. - George Will

I had a meal last night. I ordered everything in French - surprised everybody, it was a Chinese restaurant. - Tommy Cooper

As a kid, you looked forward to Charlie Brown during Halloween and you looked forward to Monday Night Football. - Nick Ferguson

I went to a fancy French restaurant called "Deja Vu." The headwaiter said, "Don't I know you?" - Steven Wright

Kicking is very important in football. In fact, some of the more enthusiastic players even kick the ball, occasionally. - Alfred Hitchcock

If I were God and I were trying to create a nation that would get up the nostrils of the Englishman, I would create the French. - Julian Barnes

Baseball players are smarter than football players. How often do you see a baseball team penalized for too many men on the field? - Jim Bouton

My whole body is a wreck. I've injured myself so many times with jujitsu, skateboarding, football. I guess I like to live hard. - Scott Caan

I listened to a football coach who spoke straight from the shoulder - at least I could detect no higher origin in anything he said. - Dixon R Fox


Global Warming Protest

Canadian Fast Food

Wienermobile Crash

Caribou Walking

Human Pixels

Ruling On Criticism

The New Canada

Pail Face

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Redneck DoorBells

Psychic Fair

Panda Push

Lunch Apple

Protective Wings

Socket To Me

Work Not

I Shoot People!

Warm Them Up

Nautical Sense of Humour

Vegan Brownies

Worst Action Photographer

New Ghost Rider

Paint Ladder

Sidewalk Malt Melt