#1 humor site on the 'net

Winter Games

Olympic ice hockey training on your front driveway

Winter Games thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

QuotaBills
Canada is hockey. - Mike Weir

Hockey's my favorite sport. - Denis Leary

I always wake up at the crack of ice. - Joe E Lewis

Outdoor hockey is what it is all about. - Paul Coffey

Hockey is figure skating in a war zone. - Unknown

People on the streets are ready for hockey. - Eric Lindros

Room service - don't send up any more ice. - WC Fields

If I melt dry ice, can I swim without getting wet? - Steven Wright

I don't jog. It makes the ice jump right out of my glass. - David Lee Roth

I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass. - David Lee Roth

Ice Water? Get some Onions - that'll make your eyes water! - Groucho Marx

I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out. - Rodney Dangerfield

All hockey players are bilingual. They know English and profanity. - Gordie Howe

For me, baseball is more comparable to chess than it is to hockey. - Jeff Garlin

If you're already walking on thin ice, you might as well dance. - Proverb

Everybody talks about the weather, but nobody does anything about it. - Charles Dudley Warner

By 1946, I knew Detroit was the best hockey city in the Original Six. - Ted Lindsay

People know me from a hockey game, from an earthquake, from the O.J case. - Al Michaels

Sometimes it just feels like the only thing you do is play hockey and eat. - Henrik Lundqvist

Wherever you go, no matter what the weather, always bring your own sunshine. - Anthony J. D'Angelo

News events are like Texas weather. If you don't like it, wait a minute. - Jessica Savitch

My goal was to play in the NHL, because that is the best hockey in the world. - Jaromir Jagr

The thinner the ice, the more anxious is everyone to see whether it will bear. - Josh Billins

Always give them the old fire, even when you feel like a squashed cake of ice. - Ethel Merman

I love extreme sports, I like snowboarding and motorcross and rollerblading and hockey. - Jeremy London

Our team lives hockey, it dreams hockey, it eats hockey. Now if it could only play hockey. - Milton Berle

I like ice hockey. No one is ever going to ask me to write about that as a metaphor for life. - Steven Pinker

A statistician can have his head in the oven and his feet in ice, and on average he feels fine. - Unknown

Hockey players wear numbers because you can't always identify the body with dental records. - Unknown

Age does not diminish the extreme disappointment of having a scoop of ice cream fall from the cone. - Jim Fiebig

Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps. - Tiger Woods

I still play hockey every now and then, and I still golf. But my biggest exercise is walking my big dog in the park every day. - Michael J. Fox

If you're skinny and you can't play hockey in Canada, you aren't left with a lot of options. I was left with running. - Malcolm Gladwell

Don't knock the weather. Nine-tenths of the people couldn't start a conversation if it didn't change once in a while. - Kin Hubbard

Everyone knows that ice cream is worth the trouble of being cold. Like all things virtuous, you have to suffer to gain the reward. - Brandon Sanderson

I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright

In those days the best painkiller was ice. It wasn't addictive, and it was particularly effective if you poured some whiskey over it. - George Burns

I found my prince - he's a hockey player and we met at an NHL event, the last place I'd ever expect to meet someone, but there he was. - Carol Alt

Style is that which indicates how the writer takes himself and what he is saying. It is the mind skating circles around itself as it moves forward. - Robert Frost

When I walk down the street in New York, the building constructor, the guy pounding cement and what not, will yell, "Hey, you hockey puck!" - Don Rickles


Ant Attack

Extreme Pressure Cooker

Just Thinking

Nothing Wrong Picture

Lipstick Dog

Hair Strengthener

Whale Photobomb

World Peas

Hide and Seek

Hoodie Onesy

Going Around In Circles

Whiskey Jig

Redneck Mercedes

Hala Fruit

Hydro Water Power

Selfie Shoes

Tons Of Anarchy

Science World

Da Hood Shirt

What Do You See? - Part III

ThaiTanic

Aging Mermaid

Get Along Shirt

Bruce Lee Coffee