#1 humor site on the 'net

Wine Secret

The secret of enjoying a good wine

Wine Secret thanks to Keith Blake

Allowing a bottle of wine to breathe

QuotaBills
Wine is bottled poetry. - Robert Louis Stevenson

Payday came and with it beer. - Rudyard Kipling

Liquor Store: A stupor market - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I like a wine that fights back. - John Steed

Wine is my favorite 4 letter word. - Unknown

Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker. - Ogden Nash

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. - Unknown

When wine goes in strange things come out. - Friedrich Schiller

I'm Hybrid. I run on chocolate and wine. - Unknown

Compromises are for relationships, not wine. - Robert S Caywood

Draft Dodger: Someone who avoids beer on tap. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Talking to you is like casting pearls into wine. - Archie Bunker

Music is the wine that fills the cup of silence. - Robert Fripp

What whiskey will not cure, there is no cure for. - Irish Proverb

Ah, beer, my one weakness. My Achilles heel, if you will. - Homer Simpson

If God forbade drinking, would He have made wine so good? - Cardinal Richelieu

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. - Benjamin Franklin

Some call it Cocktail Hour. To me, it's a support group. - Unknown

What two ideas are more inseparable than Beer and Britannia? - Sydney Smith

I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already. - Tommy Cooper

Stop trying to make everybody happy - you're not tequila. - Unknown

Drinking rum before noon makes you a pirate, not an alcoholic. - Unknown

I never drank anything stronger than beer before I was twelve. - WC Fields

A meal of bread, cheese, and beer constitutes the perfect food. - Queen Elizabeth I

God invented whiskey to prevent the Irish from ruling the world. - Irish Saying

Memorial services are the cocktail parties of the geriatric set. - Ralph Richardson

I'm aging like fine wine. I'm getting complex and fruity. - Unknown

I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me. - Winston Churchill

Give me a woman who truly loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Kaiser Willhelm II

We are all mortal until the first kiss and the second glass of wine. - Eduardo Galeano

Men are like wine. Some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age. - Pope John XXIII

I'll have a "Cafe Mocha Vodka Valium Latte" to go, please. - Unknown

To alcohol! The cause of - and solution to - all of life's problems. - Homer Simpson

A bottle of wine contains more philosophy than all the books in the world. - Louis Pasteur

You can lead a horse to water but I'd rather ride it to the liquor store. - Wayne Nowazek

Whiskey is by far the most popular of all remedies that won't cure a cold. - Jerry Vale

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke

My heart says chocolate and wine but my jeans say, for the love of God women, eat a salad. - Unknown

I'm like old wine. They don't bring me out very often - but I'm well preserved. - Rose Kennedy

Just as Jesus created wine from water, we humans are capable of transmuting emotion into music. - Carlos Santana

There is more refreshment and stimulation in a nap, even of the briefest, than in all the alcohol ever distilled. - Ovid

Milk is the drink of babies, tea the drink of women, water the drink of beasts, and wine is the drink of the gods. - John S Blackie

You pretty much can't get away from bacon or whiskey in the South. Put a doughnut in it and you'd be good to go. - Hillary Scott

Not all chemicals are bad. Without hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. - Dave Barry

Mancation: A man's vacation. Generally includes lots of beer, a Redneck grill, slabs of meat for cooking and a sack of fireworks. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A woman should never be seen eating or drinking, unless it be lobster salad and Champagne, the only true feminine and becoming viands. - George G. Byron

A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila. - Mitch Ratcliffe

Irish whiskey was first developed for its medicinal benefits. It's just lucky for the rest of us that the Irish are such a sickly bunch. - Unknown

When I have an idea, I turn down the flame, as if it were a little alcohol stove, as low as it will go. Then it explodes and that is my idea. - Ernest Hemingway

If you sang "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall" and counted all the numbers mentioned throughout the entire song, it would add up to 14,850. - Joe-kster


Cat Swimming at the Olympics

Yoga Food

Paint Room

Beer Cheers

Olympic Preparations

Row Your Goat

My Kind Of Exercise

Surround Sound for Babies

Clean Senior Citizens

Taco Bell Secret Seasoning

Goodbye Tattoo

What Goes Round Comes Round

Augustweggen

Scary Ice Cream

Orca Siting

Ruling On Criticism

Photo Scratch

Yoda-Churchill

Cup of Mona Lisa

Bar Walker

Olympic Moon Rings

BTTF II Car

Pool Garden

Lunch Break on a Hot Day