#1 humor site on the 'net

Where Not To Fall A Tree

Some pickups aren't big enough for amateur tree fallers

Where Not To Fall A Tree thanks to Wayne Nowazek

How to make the most room available for stacking cut firewood

Do you have a dead tree or a dead pickup truck?
QuotaBills
Friendship is a sheltering tree. - Samuel Taylor Coleridge

Every man under his own fig tree. - Hebrew Saying

Trees often transplanted seldom prosper. - Flemish Proverb

What kind of man gives cigarettes to trees? - Robin Williams

The best cure for sea sickness, is to sit under a tree. - Spike Milligan

The time to repair the roof is when the sun is shining. - John F Kennedy

By trying often, the monkey learns to jump from the tree. - Cameroon Proverb

He knows his olive trees better than he knows his children. - Rebecca Helm-Ropelato

Life without love is like a tree without blossoms or fruit. - Khalil Gibran

I took a walk in the woods and came out taller than the trees. - Henry David Thoreau

Character is the root of the tree; conduct, the fruit it bears. - E.M. Bounds

The shortest distance between two points is usually under repair. - Unknown

If a tree falls in the forest and no one hears, does it make a sound? - Unknown

Zealotry: 1. The enemy of idealism; 2. What a tree salesman likes to do. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now. - Chinese Proverb

Learn not to talk to me. You shake the tree, a leopard's going to fall out. - Kobe Bryant

I don't have to look up my family tree, because I know that I'm the sap. - Fred Allen

Keep your bike in good repair: motorcycle boots are not comfortable for walking. - Unknown

Southerners are so devoted to genealogy that we see a family tree under every bush. - Florence King

A cold wind was blowing from the north, and it made the trees rustle like living things. - George R.R. Martin

Someone's sitting in the shade today because someone planted a tree a long time ago. - Warren Buffett

Transplanting the ballet to the United States is like trying to raise a palm tree in Dakota. - Lincoln Kirsten

Even if I knew that tomorrow the world would go to pieces, I would still plant my apple tree. - Martin Luther

If I had six hours to chop down a tree, I'd spend the first four hours sharpening the axe. - Abraham Lincoln

If you reveal your secrets to the wind, don't blame the wind for revealing them to the trees. - Kahlil Gibran

Many a man has fallen in love with a girl in a light so dim he would not have chosen a suit by it. - Maurice Chevalier

Why pay money to have your family tree traced; go into politics and your opponents will do it for you. - Unknown

The reason there are so many tree-lined boulevards in Paris is so the German army can march in the shade. - George S Patton

My wife is on a diet. Coconuts and bananas. She hasn't lost any weight, but she can sure climb a tree. - Henny Youngman

The average auto owner drives so blamed reckless I'm glad that he does git robbed when he pays a repair bill. - Kin Hubbard

Except during the nine months before he draws his first breath, no man manages his affairs as well as a tree does. - George Bernard Shaw

Lord save us all from old age and broken health and a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting out blossoms. - Mark Twain

Climb the mountains and get their good tidings. Nature's peace will flow into you as sunshine flows into trees. - John Muir

You can't be suspicious of a tree, or accuse a bird or a squirrel of subversion or challenge the ideology of a violet. - Hal Borland

When anyone asks me about the Irish character, I say look at the trees. Maimed, stark and misshapen, but ferociously tenacious. - Unknown

If you think in terms of a year, plant a seed; if in terms of ten years, plant trees; if in terms of 100 years, teach the people. - Confucius

On the top of the Crumpetty Tree
The Quangle Wangle sat,
But his face you could not see,
On account of his Beaver Hat. - Edward Lear

In nature, nothing is perfect and everything is perfect. Trees can be contorted, bent in weird ways, and they're still beautiful. - Alice Walker

Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong. - George Carlin

I think that I shall never see
A billboard lovely as a tree;
Perhaps, unless the billboards fall,
I'll never see a tree at all. - Ogden Nash


Dustpan Waterfall

Pita Pan

Drum Kit Chandelier

TP Roll Art

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Shark Circles

Mega Samurai Sudoku Puzzles

Stairway Chute

Run Down Apartments

Your Fly Is Down

Employee Factory - Join The Crowd!

Moonshiners

How Did They Get There?

Dent Wizard

Painted Fence

Duck Heist - Ducks Gone Bad

Reaching The Ocean

Worst Aid

How To Make A Deer Stand

Make Your Own Plectrum

Too Little Too Late

Pelican Sunrise

Modern Romance

Moose Police