When You Gotta Go

Lap Top: Where little kids feel comfy - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Always go to the bathroom when you have a chance. - King George V

What happens in the hot tub stays in the hot tub. - Aussie Swimmer

Raising kids is a walk in the park. Jurassic Park. - Unknown

Oh, that sound? I'm in the hot tub, reading a novel. - Jane Smiley

You know what's cool? My kids think I'm ordinary. - Michael J. Fox

Juvenile Delinquency: Modern term for what we did as kids - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I never feel so much myself as when I'm in a hot bath. - Sylvia Plath

Dubm Waiter: One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

My grandmother took a bath every year, whether she was dirty or not. - Brendan Behan

Kids. They're not easy. But there has to be some penalty for sex. - Bill Maher

Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. - Red Buttons

Bed and Breakfast: Two things the kids will never make for themselves - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Raising kids make most people, including me, grow up at least a little. - Madonna

The last thing my kids ever did to earn money was lose their baby teeth. - Phyllis Diller

I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and radio. - Rodney Dangerfield

Silence is golden unless you have kids. Then silence is just suspicious. - Unknown

Joy Of Motherhood: What a woman experiences when all the kids are in bed - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Stress is an ignorant state. It believes that everything is an emergency. - Natalie Goldberg

A diamond is just a piece of coal that handles stress exceptionally well. - Unknown

I'd like to be the ideal mother, but I'm too busy raising my kids. - Unknown

I threw the kitchen sink at him, but he went to the bathroom and got his tub. - Andy Roddick

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor. - Phyllis Diller

Stress is your body's way of saying you haven't worked enough unpaid overtime. - Scott Adams

Man should not try to avoid stress any more than he would shun food, love, or exercise. - Hans Selye

A rich person should leave his kids enough to do something, but not enough to do nothing. - Warren Buffett

I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance - waiting for the bathroom. - Bob Hope

Stress exacerbates any problem, whether it's diabetes, heart trouble, MS, or whatever. - Mary Ann Mobley

Because: Mom's reason for having kids do things which can't be explained logically - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Zucchini: Vegetable which can be baked, boiled, fried or steamed before kids refuse to eat it - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Having kids is the ultimate job in life. I want to be most successful at being a good father. - Nick Lachey

You know how kids dream of being soccer players or actors? Well, my dream was to be a sushi chef. - Nobu Matsuhisa

I sleep with a light on in the bathroom so I can see where I'm at, because I wake up and have no clue. - Carrie Underwood

You know you're a mom when you go to the store for yourself and come out with a bag of things for your kids. - Unknown

You know your kids are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they're going. - P.J. O'Rourke

When it comes to hockey, it's been in my blood since I was 3 or 4 years old. I love coaching the kids, especially at that level. - Mario Lemieux

To be a champion, you have to learn to handle stress and pressure. But if you've prepared mentally and physically, you don't have to worry. - Harvey Mackay

My wife was a make-up artist, and she's a total product junkie. Our bathroom is packed full of lotions and potions so I end up trying them out. - Robert Carlyle

Like all parents, my husband and I just do the best we can, and hold our breath and hope we've set aside enough money for our kids' therapy. - Michelle Pfeiffer

Car Pool: Complicated system of transportation where Mom always winds up going the furthest with the biggest bunch of kids who have had the most sugar - Daffynitions joe-ks.com