#1 humor site on the 'net

Wheely Unstable

What tire stores call 'Rolling Stock'

Wheely Unstable thanks to Keith Blake

You need emergency road service when you get too tire-d

QuotaBills
Khaki: A thing for starting a car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Chop your own path. Get off the car track. - A.Y. Jackson

Four wheels move the body. Two wheels move the soul. - Unknown

The beaten path is the safest, but the traffic's terrible. - Jeff Taylor

I had to stop driving my car for a while - the tires got dizzy. - Steven Wright

Coward: One who, in a perilous emergency, thinks with his legs. - Ambrose Bierce

It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men. - Frederick Douglass

The shortest distance between two points is usually under repair. - Unknown

Living with a conscience is like driving a car with the brakes on. - Budd Schulberg

A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who has never owned a car. - Carrie Snow

Americans will put up with anything provided it doesn't block traffic. - Dan Rather

There is nothing so strong or safe in an emergency of life as the simple truth. - Charles Dickens

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife. - Prince Philip

You don't have to carry a designer bag that costs more than a car to look cool. - Kesha

The squeaky wheel may get the most oil, but it's also the first to be replaced. - Marilyn Vos Savant

Wealthy people miss one of life's greatest thrills: making the last car payment. - Unknown

Yesterday I parked my car in a tow-away zone... when I came back the entire area was missing. - Steven Wright

If you're not paying for it through the health plan, you pay for it in the emergency room. - David Lehman

A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after. - Peter DeVries

The lead car is absolutely, truly unique, except for the one behind it which is exactly identical. - Murray Walker

I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving. - Steven Wright

When Henry Ford made cheap, reliable cars people said, 'Nah, what's wrong with a horse?' - Elon Musk

If I weren't skateboarding, I'd love to race cars. I like anything that's fast and active. - Ryan Sheckler

My husband is so good at home repairs that they have a special VIP area for him in the emergency room. - Unknown

If you haven't seen your wife smile at a traffic cop, you haven't seen her smile her prettiest. - Kin Hubbard

I'm working on a second cookbook and am working on my love story, 'Black Heels to Tractor Wheels.' - Ree Drummond

I have left orders to be awakened at any time in case of national emergency, even if I'm in a cabinet meeting. - Ronald Reagan

Life's golden age is when the children are too old to need babysitters and too young to borrow the family car. - Unknown

There's nothing to match curling up with a good book when there's a repair job to be done around the house. - Joe Ryan

I do get scared of the dentist, so a drive-through dentist might make me feel more at home. If I got to stay in my car. - Jessica Pare

Just think how far we've come in the 20th Century. The man who used to be a cog in the wheel is now a digit in the computer. - Robert Fuoss

Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down. - George Carlin

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car. - Unknown

Tonight we'll be talking to a car designer who's crossed Toyota with Quasimodo and come up with the Hatchback of Notre Dame. - Ronnie Corbett

I have an answering machine in my car. It says, "I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out." - Steven Wright

A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. - Theodore Roosevelt

A car hits a Jewish man. The paramedic rushes over and says, "Are you comfortable?" The guy says, "I make a good living." - Henny Youngman

The man who makes no mistakes lacks boldness and the spirit of adventure. He never tries anything new. He is a brake on the wheels of progress. - M.W. Larmour

The best way to meet a woman is in an emergency situation - if you're in a shipwreck, or you find yourself behind enemy lines, or in a flood. - Mark Helprin

When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving. - Steven Wright


Massage Therapist

Paper Wedding Dress

High Rise TV

Redneck Kickstand

Mary Potter

Jarred Cat

Frog Waltz

SinkHole Pickup

Always Use Your Mirrors

Johnny On The Pot's Plumber Truck

Wrench Wheel

Bonsai Fruit Tree

Bussines Gaurd

Saxy Shoe

Mayweather Momma

What's Holding You Back?

Final Exams In North Korea

ORCAstraighted

'Outside The Box' Juggler

HeidleBurger

Sun Skin Tone

I Think I'll Just Go Around

People Of The River

Synonym Rolls