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VW Owner
One of the best reasons for owning a Volkswagen
"Sooner or later, your wife will drive home one of the best reasons for owning a Volkswagen.
Women are soft and gentle, but they hit things. If your wife hits something in a Volkswagen, it doesn’t hurt you very much.
VW parts are easy to replace. And cheap.
A fender comes off without dismantling half the car.
A new one goes on with just ten bolts, for $24.95, plus labor.
And a VW dealer always has the kind of fender you need.
Because that’s the one kind he has.
Most other VW parts are interchangeable too. Inside and out.
Which means your wife isn’t limited to fender smashing.
She can job the hood. Graze the door. Or bump the bumper.
It may make you furious, but it won’t make you poor.
So when your wife goes window-shopping in a Volkswagen, don’t worry. You can conveniently replace anything she uses to stop the car. Even the brakes."
Women are soft and gentle, but they hit things. If your wife hits something in a Volkswagen, it doesn’t hurt you very much.
VW parts are easy to replace. And cheap.
A fender comes off without dismantling half the car.
A new one goes on with just ten bolts, for $24.95, plus labor.
And a VW dealer always has the kind of fender you need.
Because that’s the one kind he has.
Most other VW parts are interchangeable too. Inside and out.
Which means your wife isn’t limited to fender smashing.
She can job the hood. Graze the door. Or bump the bumper.
It may make you furious, but it won’t make you poor.
So when your wife goes window-shopping in a Volkswagen, don’t worry. You can conveniently replace anything she uses to stop the car. Even the brakes."
Fjord: Norwegian car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Would a lion cheat on his wife? No, but a Tiger Would. - Unknown
Auto racing began 5 minutes after the second car was built. - Henry Ford
My wife was too beautiful for words, but not for arguments. - John Barrymore
Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. - Erma Bombeck
The secret to a happy marriage? Do what your wife tells you. - Denzel Washington
My wife's such a bad cook, the dog begs for Alka-Seltzer. - Rodney Dangerfield
Giving never happens by accident. It's always intentional. - Amy Grant
I had to stop driving my car for a while - the tires got dizzy. - Steven Wright
A man's mother is his misfortune, but his wife is his fault. - Walter Begehot
In my house I'm the boss. My wife is just the decision maker. - Woody Allen
The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. - Dudley Moore
We all thought we'd have flying cars by now, but we don't. - Dana Brunetti
My wife and I thought we were in love, but it turned out to be benign. - Woody Allen
The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once. - E. Joseph Cossman
I wouldn't be caught dead marrying a woman old enough to be my wife. - Tony Curtis
Happiness is an accident of nature, a beautiful and flawless aberration. - Pat Conroy
When a police officer tells you to stay in the car, you stay in the car. - Reese Witherspoon
The secrets of success are a good wife and a steady job. My wife told me. - Howard Nemerov
I aimed at the public's heart and by accident I hit it in the stomach. - Upton Sinclair
A private railroad car is not an acquired taste. One takes to it immediately. - Eleanor R. Belmont
No man is truly married until he understands every word his wife is NOT saying. - Unknown
You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy
Fame is a vapor; popularity an accident; the only earthly certainty is oblivion. - Mark Twain
Bimbo: Any woman to whom you pay a compliment, while in the company of your wife - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
I spent a lot of my money on booze, birds and fast cars... the rest I squandered. - George Best
When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife. - Prince Philip
Marriage is one of the few institutions that allow a man to do as his wife pleases. - Milton Berle
A man loves his sweetheart the most, his wife the best, but his mother the longest. - Irish Proverb
My wife and I went to a hotel where we got a waterbed. My wife called it the Dead Sea. - Henny Youngman
I live by my own rules (reviewed, revised, and approved by my wife), but still my own. - Si Robertson
I have nothing but troubles with my car. Every Sunday I take my family out for a push. - Rodney Dangerfield
Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge. - Bill Cosby
To be born free is an accident; to live free a responsibility; to die free is an obligation. - Mrs. Hubbard Davis
The dent in his car is hardly cold and he's coming over here to claim his pound of fish. - Archie Bunker
Valentine's Day - a nice holiday because it's the first day of the rest of your wife. - Milton Berle
My wife hasn't had a birthday in 4 years. She was born in the year of our Lord-only-knows. - Unknown
HonkoSecond: The time between the light turning green and the sound from the car horn behind you - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Don't forget Mother's Day. Or as they call it in Beverly Hills, Dad's Third Wife Day. - Jay Leno
Psychiatrist: a person who will give you expensive answers that your wife will give you for free. - Unknown
If you marry a man who cheats on his wife, you'll be married to a man who cheats on his wife. - Ann Landers
Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. - Erma Bombeck
The greatest pleasure I know is to do a good action by stealth, and to have it found out by accident. - Charles Lamb
If I weren't skateboarding, I'd love to race cars. I like anything that's fast and active. - Ryan Sheckler
I don't think I'm a celebrity. I'm just a guy from east Texas who loves cars and airplanes. - Carroll Shelby
It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass! - Rodney Dangerfield
Graduate School: The place where a young scholar goes off his Dad's payroll - and on to his wife's - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
We in the industry know that behind every successful screenwriter stands a woman. And behind her stands his wife. - Groucho Marx
A little House well fill'd, a little Field well till'd, and a little Wife well will'd, are great Riches. - Benjamin Franklin
For all of the fights I have had in my life, both on and off the ice, I have only been in the back of a cop car once. - Tie Domi
A relationship without trust is like a car without gas. You can stay in it all you want, but it won't go anywhere. - Jay Shetty
It's a sad day when you find out that it's not accident or fortune but just yourself that kept things from you. - Lillian Hellman
I do get scared of the dentist, so a drive-through dentist might make me feel more at home. If I got to stay in my car. - Jessica Pare
Last night my wife met me at the front door. She was wearing a sexy negligee. The only trouble was, she was coming home. - Rodney Dangerfield
I like to do things for my wife on Valentine's Day. I open the door for her when she puts laundry in the washing machine. - Milton Berle
After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together. - Sacha Guitry
My wife and I tried two or three times in the last 40 years to have breakfast together, but it was so disagreeable we had to stop. - Winston Churchill
I'm amazed that my wife and I created two human beings from scratch, yet struggle to assemble the most basic of IKEA cabinets. - John Kinnear
Tonight we'll be talking to a car designer who's crossed Toyota with Quasimodo and come up with the Hatchback of Notre Dame. - Ronnie Corbett
I have an answering machine in my car. It says, "I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out." - Steven Wright
A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. - Theodore Roosevelt
A car hits a Jewish man. The paramedic rushes over and says, "Are you comfortable?" The guy says, "I make a good living." - Henny Youngman
My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz
Being a dad isn't just about eating a huge bag of gummy bears as your wife gives birth. It means being comfortable with the word 'hero.' - Ryan Reynolds
This is a honeydew day. That is when you get a day off and the wife says, "Honey, do this," and "Honey, do that" around the house. - Jim Lemon
Would a lion cheat on his wife? No, but a Tiger Would. - Unknown
Auto racing began 5 minutes after the second car was built. - Henry Ford
My wife was too beautiful for words, but not for arguments. - John Barrymore
Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. - Erma Bombeck
The secret to a happy marriage? Do what your wife tells you. - Denzel Washington
My wife's such a bad cook, the dog begs for Alka-Seltzer. - Rodney Dangerfield
Giving never happens by accident. It's always intentional. - Amy Grant
I had to stop driving my car for a while - the tires got dizzy. - Steven Wright
A man's mother is his misfortune, but his wife is his fault. - Walter Begehot
In my house I'm the boss. My wife is just the decision maker. - Woody Allen
The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. - Dudley Moore
We all thought we'd have flying cars by now, but we don't. - Dana Brunetti
My wife and I thought we were in love, but it turned out to be benign. - Woody Allen
The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once. - E. Joseph Cossman
I wouldn't be caught dead marrying a woman old enough to be my wife. - Tony Curtis
Happiness is an accident of nature, a beautiful and flawless aberration. - Pat Conroy
When a police officer tells you to stay in the car, you stay in the car. - Reese Witherspoon
The secrets of success are a good wife and a steady job. My wife told me. - Howard Nemerov
I aimed at the public's heart and by accident I hit it in the stomach. - Upton Sinclair
A private railroad car is not an acquired taste. One takes to it immediately. - Eleanor R. Belmont
No man is truly married until he understands every word his wife is NOT saying. - Unknown
You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy
Fame is a vapor; popularity an accident; the only earthly certainty is oblivion. - Mark Twain
Bimbo: Any woman to whom you pay a compliment, while in the company of your wife - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
I spent a lot of my money on booze, birds and fast cars... the rest I squandered. - George Best
When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife. - Prince Philip
Marriage is one of the few institutions that allow a man to do as his wife pleases. - Milton Berle
A man loves his sweetheart the most, his wife the best, but his mother the longest. - Irish Proverb
My wife and I went to a hotel where we got a waterbed. My wife called it the Dead Sea. - Henny Youngman
I live by my own rules (reviewed, revised, and approved by my wife), but still my own. - Si Robertson
I have nothing but troubles with my car. Every Sunday I take my family out for a push. - Rodney Dangerfield
Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge. - Bill Cosby
To be born free is an accident; to live free a responsibility; to die free is an obligation. - Mrs. Hubbard Davis
The dent in his car is hardly cold and he's coming over here to claim his pound of fish. - Archie Bunker
Valentine's Day - a nice holiday because it's the first day of the rest of your wife. - Milton Berle
My wife hasn't had a birthday in 4 years. She was born in the year of our Lord-only-knows. - Unknown
HonkoSecond: The time between the light turning green and the sound from the car horn behind you - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Don't forget Mother's Day. Or as they call it in Beverly Hills, Dad's Third Wife Day. - Jay Leno
Psychiatrist: a person who will give you expensive answers that your wife will give you for free. - Unknown
If you marry a man who cheats on his wife, you'll be married to a man who cheats on his wife. - Ann Landers
Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. - Erma Bombeck
The greatest pleasure I know is to do a good action by stealth, and to have it found out by accident. - Charles Lamb
If I weren't skateboarding, I'd love to race cars. I like anything that's fast and active. - Ryan Sheckler
I don't think I'm a celebrity. I'm just a guy from east Texas who loves cars and airplanes. - Carroll Shelby
It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass! - Rodney Dangerfield
Graduate School: The place where a young scholar goes off his Dad's payroll - and on to his wife's - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
We in the industry know that behind every successful screenwriter stands a woman. And behind her stands his wife. - Groucho Marx
A little House well fill'd, a little Field well till'd, and a little Wife well will'd, are great Riches. - Benjamin Franklin
For all of the fights I have had in my life, both on and off the ice, I have only been in the back of a cop car once. - Tie Domi
A relationship without trust is like a car without gas. You can stay in it all you want, but it won't go anywhere. - Jay Shetty
It's a sad day when you find out that it's not accident or fortune but just yourself that kept things from you. - Lillian Hellman
I do get scared of the dentist, so a drive-through dentist might make me feel more at home. If I got to stay in my car. - Jessica Pare
Last night my wife met me at the front door. She was wearing a sexy negligee. The only trouble was, she was coming home. - Rodney Dangerfield
I like to do things for my wife on Valentine's Day. I open the door for her when she puts laundry in the washing machine. - Milton Berle
After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together. - Sacha Guitry
My wife and I tried two or three times in the last 40 years to have breakfast together, but it was so disagreeable we had to stop. - Winston Churchill
I'm amazed that my wife and I created two human beings from scratch, yet struggle to assemble the most basic of IKEA cabinets. - John Kinnear
Tonight we'll be talking to a car designer who's crossed Toyota with Quasimodo and come up with the Hatchback of Notre Dame. - Ronnie Corbett
I have an answering machine in my car. It says, "I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out." - Steven Wright
A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. - Theodore Roosevelt
A car hits a Jewish man. The paramedic rushes over and says, "Are you comfortable?" The guy says, "I make a good living." - Henny Youngman
My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz
Being a dad isn't just about eating a huge bag of gummy bears as your wife gives birth. It means being comfortable with the word 'hero.' - Ryan Reynolds
This is a honeydew day. That is when you get a day off and the wife says, "Honey, do this," and "Honey, do that" around the house. - Jim Lemon
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