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VW Owner
One of the best reasons for owning a Volkswagen
"Sooner or later, your wife will drive home one of the best reasons for owning a Volkswagen.
Women are soft and gentle, but they hit things. If your wife hits something in a Volkswagen, it doesn’t hurt you very much.
VW parts are easy to replace. And cheap.
A fender comes off without dismantling half the car.
A new one goes on with just ten bolts, for $24.95, plus labor.
And a VW dealer always has the kind of fender you need.
Because that’s the one kind he has.
Most other VW parts are interchangeable too. Inside and out.
Which means your wife isn’t limited to fender smashing.
She can job the hood. Graze the door. Or bump the bumper.
It may make you furious, but it won’t make you poor.
So when your wife goes window-shopping in a Volkswagen, don’t worry. You can conveniently replace anything she uses to stop the car. Even the brakes."
Women are soft and gentle, but they hit things. If your wife hits something in a Volkswagen, it doesn’t hurt you very much.
VW parts are easy to replace. And cheap.
A fender comes off without dismantling half the car.
A new one goes on with just ten bolts, for $24.95, plus labor.
And a VW dealer always has the kind of fender you need.
Because that’s the one kind he has.
Most other VW parts are interchangeable too. Inside and out.
Which means your wife isn’t limited to fender smashing.
She can job the hood. Graze the door. Or bump the bumper.
It may make you furious, but it won’t make you poor.
So when your wife goes window-shopping in a Volkswagen, don’t worry. You can conveniently replace anything she uses to stop the car. Even the brakes."
Seek a wife in your own sphere. - Latin Proverb
Safety doesn't happen by accident. - Unknown
Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident. - Mark Twain
Who has a bad wife, his hell begins on earth. - Dutch Proverb
Ideal Wife: Any woman who has an ideal husband - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
A deaf husband and a blind wife make the best couple. - French Proverb
Antibody: 1. Against everyone; 2. Your Uncle's wife. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
A round wife and a full barn are the signs of good success. - Amish Saying
A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong. - Milton Berle
The antiques my wife buys at auctions are keeping me baroque. - Peter De Vries
Giving never happens by accident. It's always intentional. - Amy Grant
I had to stop driving my car for a while - the tires got dizzy. - Steven Wright
In my house I'm the boss. My wife is just the decision maker. - Woody Allen
My wife and I are getting remarried. Our divorce didn't work out. - Rodney Dangerfield
Extravagance: Anything you buy that is of no earthly use to your wife - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
When a man brings his wife flowers for no reason, there's a reason. - Molly McGee
I wouldn't be caught dead marrying a woman old enough to be my wife. - Tony Curtis
A private railroad car is not an acquired taste. One takes to it immediately. - Eleanor R. Belmont
No man is truly married until he understands every word his wife is NOT saying. - Unknown
When my wife asked me to start a garden the first thing I dug up was an excuse. - Henny Youngman
I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars. - Erma Bombeck
Fame is a vapor; popularity an accident; the only earthly certainty is oblivion. - Mark Twain
Bimbo: Any woman to whom you pay a compliment, while in the company of your wife - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
A man loves his sweetheart the most, his wife the best, but his mother the longest. - Irish Proverb
Wealthy people miss one of life's greatest thrills: making the last car payment. - Unknown
My wife and I went to a hotel where we got a waterbed. My wife called it the Dead Sea. - Henny Youngman
A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days. - Tim Allen
My wife and I have a tradition of popcorn and videos with our kids on Friday evenings. - Ozwald Boateng
I live by my own rules (reviewed, revised, and approved by my wife), but still my own. - Si Robertson
Every time I try to make my marriage more exciting, my wife finds out about it right away. - Bob Monkhouse
I'm a very committed wife. I should be committed, too, for being married so many times. - Elizabeth Taylor
Valentine's Day - a nice holiday because it's the first day of the rest of your wife. - Milton Berle
My wife hasn't had a birthday in 4 years. She was born in the year of our Lord-only-knows. - Unknown
Wise Husband: One who buys his wife such fine china she won't trust him to wash the dishes - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Don't forget Mother's Day. Or as they call it in Beverly Hills, Dad's Third Wife Day. - Jay Leno
A good wife is one who can mow the lawn in the summer and put up the storm windows in the winter. - WC Fields
Golden Age: When the kids are too old to need baby-sitters and too young to borrow the family car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Psychiatrist: a person who will give you expensive answers that your wife will give you for free. - Unknown
Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. - Erma Bombeck
My wife is a real Puritan. She thinks licking the stamp on the envelope of a Valentine is foreplay. - Milton Berle
The greatest pleasure I know is to do a good action by stealth, and to have it found out by accident. - Charles Lamb
If I weren't skateboarding, I'd love to race cars. I like anything that's fast and active. - Ryan Sheckler
I don't think I'm a celebrity. I'm just a guy from east Texas who loves cars and airplanes. - Carroll Shelby
It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass! - Rodney Dangerfield
Graduate School: The place where a young scholar goes off his Dad's payroll - and on to his wife's - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
The last fight was my fault though. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?"
I said, "Dust!" - Red Skelton
I haven't reported my missing credit card to the police because whoever stole it is spending less than my wife. - Ilie Nastase
Do you think you're safe in a car with your seatbelt on? Dream on. My friend thought so. Now she's pregnant. - Anke Engelke
I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. - Steven Wright
A relationship without trust is like a car without gas. You can stay in it all you want, but it won't go anywhere. - Jay Shetty
It's a sad day when you find out that it's not accident or fortune but just yourself that kept things from you. - Lillian Hellman
I do get scared of the dentist, so a drive-through dentist might make me feel more at home. If I got to stay in my car. - Jessica Pare
I tell ya, my wife and I, we don't think alike. She donates money to the homeless, and I donate money to the topless. - Rodney Dangerfield
Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car. - Garrison Keillor
If another one of my Whole Food friends says my wife should have a home birth, I am going to punch all the soy on the planet. - Patton Oswalt
It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to squeeze in eight hours of TV a day. - Homer Simpson
Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down. - George Carlin
My wife and I tried two or three times in the last 40 years to have breakfast together, but it was so disagreeable we had to stop. - Winston Churchill
One disadvantage of being a hog is that at any moment some blundering fool may try to make a silk purse out of your wife's ear. - J.B. Morton
I have an answering machine in my car. It says, "I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out." - Steven Wright
Love is much nicer to be in than an automobile accident, a tight girdle, a higher tax bracket, or a holding pattern over Philadelphia. - Judith Viorst
Fall: The season when your wife buys new winter clothes so she will have something to wear when she goes out shopping for spring outfits - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
A car hits a Jewish man. The paramedic rushes over and says, "Are you comfortable?" The guy says, "I make a good living." - Henny Youngman
Success is no accident. It is hard work, perseverance, learning, studying, sacrifice and most of all, love of what you are doing or learning to do. - Pele
Being a dad isn't just about eating a huge bag of gummy bears as your wife gives birth. It means being comfortable with the word 'hero.' - Ryan Reynolds
Safety doesn't happen by accident. - Unknown
Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident. - Mark Twain
Who has a bad wife, his hell begins on earth. - Dutch Proverb
Ideal Wife: Any woman who has an ideal husband - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
A deaf husband and a blind wife make the best couple. - French Proverb
Antibody: 1. Against everyone; 2. Your Uncle's wife. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
A round wife and a full barn are the signs of good success. - Amish Saying
A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong. - Milton Berle
The antiques my wife buys at auctions are keeping me baroque. - Peter De Vries
Giving never happens by accident. It's always intentional. - Amy Grant
I had to stop driving my car for a while - the tires got dizzy. - Steven Wright
In my house I'm the boss. My wife is just the decision maker. - Woody Allen
My wife and I are getting remarried. Our divorce didn't work out. - Rodney Dangerfield
Extravagance: Anything you buy that is of no earthly use to your wife - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
When a man brings his wife flowers for no reason, there's a reason. - Molly McGee
I wouldn't be caught dead marrying a woman old enough to be my wife. - Tony Curtis
A private railroad car is not an acquired taste. One takes to it immediately. - Eleanor R. Belmont
No man is truly married until he understands every word his wife is NOT saying. - Unknown
When my wife asked me to start a garden the first thing I dug up was an excuse. - Henny Youngman
I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars. - Erma Bombeck
Fame is a vapor; popularity an accident; the only earthly certainty is oblivion. - Mark Twain
Bimbo: Any woman to whom you pay a compliment, while in the company of your wife - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
A man loves his sweetheart the most, his wife the best, but his mother the longest. - Irish Proverb
Wealthy people miss one of life's greatest thrills: making the last car payment. - Unknown
My wife and I went to a hotel where we got a waterbed. My wife called it the Dead Sea. - Henny Youngman
A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days. - Tim Allen
My wife and I have a tradition of popcorn and videos with our kids on Friday evenings. - Ozwald Boateng
I live by my own rules (reviewed, revised, and approved by my wife), but still my own. - Si Robertson
Every time I try to make my marriage more exciting, my wife finds out about it right away. - Bob Monkhouse
I'm a very committed wife. I should be committed, too, for being married so many times. - Elizabeth Taylor
Valentine's Day - a nice holiday because it's the first day of the rest of your wife. - Milton Berle
My wife hasn't had a birthday in 4 years. She was born in the year of our Lord-only-knows. - Unknown
Wise Husband: One who buys his wife such fine china she won't trust him to wash the dishes - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Don't forget Mother's Day. Or as they call it in Beverly Hills, Dad's Third Wife Day. - Jay Leno
A good wife is one who can mow the lawn in the summer and put up the storm windows in the winter. - WC Fields
Golden Age: When the kids are too old to need baby-sitters and too young to borrow the family car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Psychiatrist: a person who will give you expensive answers that your wife will give you for free. - Unknown
Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. - Erma Bombeck
My wife is a real Puritan. She thinks licking the stamp on the envelope of a Valentine is foreplay. - Milton Berle
The greatest pleasure I know is to do a good action by stealth, and to have it found out by accident. - Charles Lamb
If I weren't skateboarding, I'd love to race cars. I like anything that's fast and active. - Ryan Sheckler
I don't think I'm a celebrity. I'm just a guy from east Texas who loves cars and airplanes. - Carroll Shelby
It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass! - Rodney Dangerfield
Graduate School: The place where a young scholar goes off his Dad's payroll - and on to his wife's - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
The last fight was my fault though. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?"
I said, "Dust!" - Red Skelton
I haven't reported my missing credit card to the police because whoever stole it is spending less than my wife. - Ilie Nastase
Do you think you're safe in a car with your seatbelt on? Dream on. My friend thought so. Now she's pregnant. - Anke Engelke
I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. - Steven Wright
A relationship without trust is like a car without gas. You can stay in it all you want, but it won't go anywhere. - Jay Shetty
It's a sad day when you find out that it's not accident or fortune but just yourself that kept things from you. - Lillian Hellman
I do get scared of the dentist, so a drive-through dentist might make me feel more at home. If I got to stay in my car. - Jessica Pare
I tell ya, my wife and I, we don't think alike. She donates money to the homeless, and I donate money to the topless. - Rodney Dangerfield
Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car. - Garrison Keillor
If another one of my Whole Food friends says my wife should have a home birth, I am going to punch all the soy on the planet. - Patton Oswalt
It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to squeeze in eight hours of TV a day. - Homer Simpson
Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down. - George Carlin
My wife and I tried two or three times in the last 40 years to have breakfast together, but it was so disagreeable we had to stop. - Winston Churchill
One disadvantage of being a hog is that at any moment some blundering fool may try to make a silk purse out of your wife's ear. - J.B. Morton
I have an answering machine in my car. It says, "I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out." - Steven Wright
Love is much nicer to be in than an automobile accident, a tight girdle, a higher tax bracket, or a holding pattern over Philadelphia. - Judith Viorst
Fall: The season when your wife buys new winter clothes so she will have something to wear when she goes out shopping for spring outfits - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
A car hits a Jewish man. The paramedic rushes over and says, "Are you comfortable?" The guy says, "I make a good living." - Henny Youngman
Success is no accident. It is hard work, perseverance, learning, studying, sacrifice and most of all, love of what you are doing or learning to do. - Pele
Being a dad isn't just about eating a huge bag of gummy bears as your wife gives birth. It means being comfortable with the word 'hero.' - Ryan Reynolds
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