Joe-ks.com
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VW Owner
One of the best reasons for owning a Volkswagen
"Sooner or later, your wife will drive home one of the best reasons for owning a Volkswagen.
Women are soft and gentle, but they hit things. If your wife hits something in a Volkswagen, it doesn’t hurt you very much.
VW parts are easy to replace. And cheap.
A fender comes off without dismantling half the car.
A new one goes on with just ten bolts, for $24.95, plus labor.
And a VW dealer always has the kind of fender you need.
Because that’s the one kind he has.
Most other VW parts are interchangeable too. Inside and out.
Which means your wife isn’t limited to fender smashing.
She can job the hood. Graze the door. Or bump the bumper.
It may make you furious, but it won’t make you poor.
So when your wife goes window-shopping in a Volkswagen, don’t worry. You can conveniently replace anything she uses to stop the car. Even the brakes."
Women are soft and gentle, but they hit things. If your wife hits something in a Volkswagen, it doesn’t hurt you very much.
VW parts are easy to replace. And cheap.
A fender comes off without dismantling half the car.
A new one goes on with just ten bolts, for $24.95, plus labor.
And a VW dealer always has the kind of fender you need.
Because that’s the one kind he has.
Most other VW parts are interchangeable too. Inside and out.
Which means your wife isn’t limited to fender smashing.
She can job the hood. Graze the door. Or bump the bumper.
It may make you furious, but it won’t make you poor.
So when your wife goes window-shopping in a Volkswagen, don’t worry. You can conveniently replace anything she uses to stop the car. Even the brakes."
Afford: Popular type of car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
My wife gives good headache. - Rodney Dangerfield
Never insult anyone by accident. - Robert A. Heinlein
Safety doesn't happen by accident. - Unknown
Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident. - Mark Twain
Didn't he take the exercise tax off cars? - Archie Bunker
Substance is not enough, accident is also required. - Greek Proverb
Would a lion cheat on his wife? No, but a Tiger Would. - Unknown
Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same. - Oscar Wilde
A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong. - Rodney Dangerfield
I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back. - Henny Youngman
My wife is such a bad cook, in my house we pray after the meal. - Rodney Dangerfield
I had to stop driving my car for a while - the tires got dizzy. - Steven Wright
A man's mother is his misfortune, but his wife is his fault. - Walter Begehot
One of the best hearing aids a man can have is an attentive wife. - Groucho Marx
The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. - Dudley Moore
We all thought we'd have flying cars by now, but we don't. - Dana Brunetti
I'm having trouble managing the mansion. What I need is a wife. - Ella Grasso
When your wife asks what's on TV, dust is not the right answer. - Unknown
My wife's an earth sign. I'm a water sign. Together we make mud. - Henny Youngman
I wouldn't be caught dead marrying a woman old enough to be my wife. - Tony Curtis
I aimed at the public's heart and by accident I hit it in the stomach. - Upton Sinclair
The man who says his wife can't take a joke, forgets that she took him. - Oscar Wilde
When a man retires his wife gets twice the husband but only half the income. - Chi Chi Rodriguez
My best friend ran away with my wife. And let me tell you, I really miss him. - Henny Youngman
A private railroad car is not an acquired taste. One takes to it immediately. - Eleanor R. Belmont
No man is truly married until he understands every word his wife is NOT saying. - Unknown
A son is a son till he takes him a wife, a daughter is a daughter all of her life. - Unknown
You don't have to carry a designer bag that costs more than a car to look cool. - Kesha
A man loves his sweetheart the most, his wife the best, but his mother the longest. - Irish Proverb
My wife likes to talk on the phone during sex. She called me from Chicago last night. - Rodney Dangerfield
My wife and I have a tradition of popcorn and videos with our kids on Friday evenings. - Ozwald Boateng
I live by my own rules (reviewed, revised, and approved by my wife), but still my own. - Si Robertson
Every time I try to make my marriage more exciting, my wife finds out about it right away. - Bob Monkhouse
My wife hasn't had a birthday in 4 years. She was born in the year of our Lord-only-knows. - Unknown
During sex my wife always wants to talk to me. Just the other night she called me from a hotel. - Rodney Dangerfield
My wife is such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss in the kitchen the roaches hang themselves. - Rodney Dangerfield
I'm not a real movie star. I've still got the same wife I started out with 28 years ago. - Will Rogers
A good wife is one who can mow the lawn in the summer and put up the storm windows in the winter. - WC Fields
Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. - Erma Bombeck
Police officers may drive black and white cars, however what goes on in their job is a lot of gray. - Arik Matson
I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes. - Homer Simpson
What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bees and he told me about the butcher and my wife. - Rodney Dangerfield
Many marriages would be better if the husband and wife clearly understood that they are on the same side. - Zig Ziglar
It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass! - Rodney Dangerfield
There are two things in this world that don't last long: dogs chasing cars, and pros putting for pars. - Lee Travino
Graduate School: The place where a young scholar goes off his Dad's payroll - and on to his wife's - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
When walking, you see things that you miss in a motor car or on the train. You give your mind space to ponder. - Tom Hodgkinson
For twenty-four years I've been in love with the same woman. If my wife ever finds out, she'll kill me. - Henny Youngman
Poverty: 1. A state of mind sometimes induced by a neighbour's new car; 2. One thing that money can't buy. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
A man with a career can have no time to waste upon his wife and friends; he has to devote it wholly to his enemies. - John Hobbes
I haven't reported my missing credit card to the police because whoever stole it is spending less than my wife. - Ilie Nastase
A little House well fill'd, a little Field well till'd, and a little Wife well will'd, are great Riches. - Benjamin Franklin
For all of the fights I have had in my life, both on and off the ice, I have only been in the back of a cop car once. - Tie Domi
A relationship without trust is like a car without gas. You can stay in it all you want, but it won't go anywhere. - Jay Shetty
I tell ya, my wife and I, we don't think alike. She donates money to the homeless, and I donate money to the topless. - Rodney Dangerfield
I like to do things for my wife on Valentine's Day. I open the door for her when she puts laundry in the washing machine. - Milton Berle
Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down. - George Carlin
I'm amazed that my wife and I created two human beings from scratch, yet struggle to assemble the most basic of IKEA cabinets. - John Kinnear
It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. - Ben Bergor
Love is much nicer to be in than an automobile accident, a tight girdle, a higher tax bracket, or a holding pattern over Philadelphia. - Judith Viorst
A car hits a Jewish man. The paramedic rushes over and says, "Are you comfortable?" The guy says, "I make a good living." - Henny Youngman
My wife was a make-up artist, and she's a total product junkie. Our bathroom is packed full of lotions and potions so I end up trying them out. - Robert Carlyle
Success is no accident. It is hard work, perseverance, learning, studying, sacrifice and most of all, love of what you are doing or learning to do. - Pele
When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving. - Steven Wright
My wife gives good headache. - Rodney Dangerfield
Never insult anyone by accident. - Robert A. Heinlein
Safety doesn't happen by accident. - Unknown
Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident. - Mark Twain
Didn't he take the exercise tax off cars? - Archie Bunker
Substance is not enough, accident is also required. - Greek Proverb
Would a lion cheat on his wife? No, but a Tiger Would. - Unknown
Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same. - Oscar Wilde
A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong. - Rodney Dangerfield
I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back. - Henny Youngman
My wife is such a bad cook, in my house we pray after the meal. - Rodney Dangerfield
I had to stop driving my car for a while - the tires got dizzy. - Steven Wright
A man's mother is his misfortune, but his wife is his fault. - Walter Begehot
One of the best hearing aids a man can have is an attentive wife. - Groucho Marx
The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. - Dudley Moore
We all thought we'd have flying cars by now, but we don't. - Dana Brunetti
I'm having trouble managing the mansion. What I need is a wife. - Ella Grasso
When your wife asks what's on TV, dust is not the right answer. - Unknown
My wife's an earth sign. I'm a water sign. Together we make mud. - Henny Youngman
I wouldn't be caught dead marrying a woman old enough to be my wife. - Tony Curtis
I aimed at the public's heart and by accident I hit it in the stomach. - Upton Sinclair
The man who says his wife can't take a joke, forgets that she took him. - Oscar Wilde
When a man retires his wife gets twice the husband but only half the income. - Chi Chi Rodriguez
My best friend ran away with my wife. And let me tell you, I really miss him. - Henny Youngman
A private railroad car is not an acquired taste. One takes to it immediately. - Eleanor R. Belmont
No man is truly married until he understands every word his wife is NOT saying. - Unknown
A son is a son till he takes him a wife, a daughter is a daughter all of her life. - Unknown
You don't have to carry a designer bag that costs more than a car to look cool. - Kesha
A man loves his sweetheart the most, his wife the best, but his mother the longest. - Irish Proverb
My wife likes to talk on the phone during sex. She called me from Chicago last night. - Rodney Dangerfield
My wife and I have a tradition of popcorn and videos with our kids on Friday evenings. - Ozwald Boateng
I live by my own rules (reviewed, revised, and approved by my wife), but still my own. - Si Robertson
Every time I try to make my marriage more exciting, my wife finds out about it right away. - Bob Monkhouse
My wife hasn't had a birthday in 4 years. She was born in the year of our Lord-only-knows. - Unknown
During sex my wife always wants to talk to me. Just the other night she called me from a hotel. - Rodney Dangerfield
My wife is such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss in the kitchen the roaches hang themselves. - Rodney Dangerfield
I'm not a real movie star. I've still got the same wife I started out with 28 years ago. - Will Rogers
A good wife is one who can mow the lawn in the summer and put up the storm windows in the winter. - WC Fields
Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. - Erma Bombeck
Police officers may drive black and white cars, however what goes on in their job is a lot of gray. - Arik Matson
I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes. - Homer Simpson
What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bees and he told me about the butcher and my wife. - Rodney Dangerfield
Many marriages would be better if the husband and wife clearly understood that they are on the same side. - Zig Ziglar
It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass! - Rodney Dangerfield
There are two things in this world that don't last long: dogs chasing cars, and pros putting for pars. - Lee Travino
Graduate School: The place where a young scholar goes off his Dad's payroll - and on to his wife's - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
When walking, you see things that you miss in a motor car or on the train. You give your mind space to ponder. - Tom Hodgkinson
For twenty-four years I've been in love with the same woman. If my wife ever finds out, she'll kill me. - Henny Youngman
Poverty: 1. A state of mind sometimes induced by a neighbour's new car; 2. One thing that money can't buy. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
A man with a career can have no time to waste upon his wife and friends; he has to devote it wholly to his enemies. - John Hobbes
I haven't reported my missing credit card to the police because whoever stole it is spending less than my wife. - Ilie Nastase
A little House well fill'd, a little Field well till'd, and a little Wife well will'd, are great Riches. - Benjamin Franklin
For all of the fights I have had in my life, both on and off the ice, I have only been in the back of a cop car once. - Tie Domi
A relationship without trust is like a car without gas. You can stay in it all you want, but it won't go anywhere. - Jay Shetty
I tell ya, my wife and I, we don't think alike. She donates money to the homeless, and I donate money to the topless. - Rodney Dangerfield
I like to do things for my wife on Valentine's Day. I open the door for her when she puts laundry in the washing machine. - Milton Berle
Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down. - George Carlin
I'm amazed that my wife and I created two human beings from scratch, yet struggle to assemble the most basic of IKEA cabinets. - John Kinnear
It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. - Ben Bergor
Love is much nicer to be in than an automobile accident, a tight girdle, a higher tax bracket, or a holding pattern over Philadelphia. - Judith Viorst
A car hits a Jewish man. The paramedic rushes over and says, "Are you comfortable?" The guy says, "I make a good living." - Henny Youngman
My wife was a make-up artist, and she's a total product junkie. Our bathroom is packed full of lotions and potions so I end up trying them out. - Robert Carlyle
Success is no accident. It is hard work, perseverance, learning, studying, sacrifice and most of all, love of what you are doing or learning to do. - Pele
When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving. - Steven Wright
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