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VW Owner

One of the best reasons for owning a Volkswagen

VW Owner thanks to Keith Blake

"Sooner or later, your wife will drive home one of the best reasons for owning a Volkswagen.
Women are soft and gentle, but they hit things. If your wife hits something in a Volkswagen, it doesn’t hurt you very much.
VW parts are easy to replace. And cheap.
A fender comes off without dismantling half the car.
A new one goes on with just ten bolts, for $24.95, plus labor.
And a VW dealer always has the kind of fender you need.
Because that’s the one kind he has.
Most other VW parts are interchangeable too. Inside and out.
Which means your wife isn’t limited to fender smashing.
She can job the hood. Graze the door. Or bump the bumper.
It may make you furious, but it won’t make you poor.
So when your wife goes window-shopping in a Volkswagen, don’t worry. You can conveniently replace anything she uses to stop the car. Even the brakes."

QuotaBills
Fjord: Norwegian car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Would a lion cheat on his wife? No, but a Tiger Would. - Unknown

Auto racing began 5 minutes after the second car was built. - Henry Ford

My wife was too beautiful for words, but not for arguments. - John Barrymore

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. - Erma Bombeck

The secret to a happy marriage? Do what your wife tells you. - Denzel Washington

My wife's such a bad cook, the dog begs for Alka-Seltzer. - Rodney Dangerfield

Giving never happens by accident. It's always intentional. - Amy Grant

I had to stop driving my car for a while - the tires got dizzy. - Steven Wright

A man's mother is his misfortune, but his wife is his fault. - Walter Begehot

In my house I'm the boss. My wife is just the decision maker. - Woody Allen

The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. - Dudley Moore

We all thought we'd have flying cars by now, but we don't. - Dana Brunetti

My wife and I thought we were in love, but it turned out to be benign. - Woody Allen

The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once. - E. Joseph Cossman

I wouldn't be caught dead marrying a woman old enough to be my wife. - Tony Curtis

Happiness is an accident of nature, a beautiful and flawless aberration. - Pat Conroy

When a police officer tells you to stay in the car, you stay in the car. - Reese Witherspoon

The secrets of success are a good wife and a steady job. My wife told me. - Howard Nemerov

I aimed at the public's heart and by accident I hit it in the stomach. - Upton Sinclair

A private railroad car is not an acquired taste. One takes to it immediately. - Eleanor R. Belmont

No man is truly married until he understands every word his wife is NOT saying. - Unknown

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy

Fame is a vapor; popularity an accident; the only earthly certainty is oblivion. - Mark Twain

Bimbo: Any woman to whom you pay a compliment, while in the company of your wife - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I spent a lot of my money on booze, birds and fast cars... the rest I squandered. - George Best

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife. - Prince Philip

Marriage is one of the few institutions that allow a man to do as his wife pleases. - Milton Berle

A man loves his sweetheart the most, his wife the best, but his mother the longest. - Irish Proverb

My wife and I went to a hotel where we got a waterbed. My wife called it the Dead Sea. - Henny Youngman

I live by my own rules (reviewed, revised, and approved by my wife), but still my own. - Si Robertson

I have nothing but troubles with my car. Every Sunday I take my family out for a push. - Rodney Dangerfield

Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge. - Bill Cosby

To be born free is an accident; to live free a responsibility; to die free is an obligation. - Mrs. Hubbard Davis

The dent in his car is hardly cold and he's coming over here to claim his pound of fish. - Archie Bunker

Valentine's Day - a nice holiday because it's the first day of the rest of your wife. - Milton Berle

My wife hasn't had a birthday in 4 years. She was born in the year of our Lord-only-knows. - Unknown

HonkoSecond: The time between the light turning green and the sound from the car horn behind you - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Don't forget Mother's Day. Or as they call it in Beverly Hills, Dad's Third Wife Day. - Jay Leno

Psychiatrist: a person who will give you expensive answers that your wife will give you for free. - Unknown

If you marry a man who cheats on his wife, you'll be married to a man who cheats on his wife. - Ann Landers

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. - Erma Bombeck

The greatest pleasure I know is to do a good action by stealth, and to have it found out by accident. - Charles Lamb

If I weren't skateboarding, I'd love to race cars. I like anything that's fast and active. - Ryan Sheckler

I don't think I'm a celebrity. I'm just a guy from east Texas who loves cars and airplanes. - Carroll Shelby

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass! - Rodney Dangerfield

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We in the industry know that behind every successful screenwriter stands a woman. And behind her stands his wife. - Groucho Marx

A little House well fill'd, a little Field well till'd, and a little Wife well will'd, are great Riches. - Benjamin Franklin

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A relationship without trust is like a car without gas. You can stay in it all you want, but it won't go anywhere. - Jay Shetty

It's a sad day when you find out that it's not accident or fortune but just yourself that kept things from you. - Lillian Hellman

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Last night my wife met me at the front door. She was wearing a sexy negligee. The only trouble was, she was coming home. - Rodney Dangerfield

I like to do things for my wife on Valentine's Day. I open the door for her when she puts laundry in the washing machine. - Milton Berle

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together. - Sacha Guitry

My wife and I tried two or three times in the last 40 years to have breakfast together, but it was so disagreeable we had to stop. - Winston Churchill

I'm amazed that my wife and I created two human beings from scratch, yet struggle to assemble the most basic of IKEA cabinets. - John Kinnear

Tonight we'll be talking to a car designer who's crossed Toyota with Quasimodo and come up with the Hatchback of Notre Dame. - Ronnie Corbett

I have an answering machine in my car. It says, "I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out." - Steven Wright

A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. - Theodore Roosevelt

A car hits a Jewish man. The paramedic rushes over and says, "Are you comfortable?" The guy says, "I make a good living." - Henny Youngman

My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz

Being a dad isn't just about eating a huge bag of gummy bears as your wife gives birth. It means being comfortable with the word 'hero.' - Ryan Reynolds

This is a honeydew day. That is when you get a day off and the wife says, "Honey, do this," and "Honey, do that" around the house. - Jim Lemon


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