Vodka Diet

Payday came and with it beer. - Rudyard Kipling

I work until beer o'clock. - Stephen King

Absinthe makes the heart grow fonder. - Addison Mizner

We only serve fine wine. Did you bring any? - Unknown

Beer. Now there's a temporary solution. - Homer Simpson

Wine improves with age. I improve with wine. - Unknown

Step aside Coffee. This is a job for Alcohol. - Unknown

Draft Dodger: Someone who avoids beer on tap. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Beer: The method of turning grain into urine. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow you may diet. - Unknown

There was a sound in their voices which suggested rum. - Robert Louis Sevenson

Bladder: The human apparatus that pays the tax on beer - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Ah, beer, my one weakness. My Achilles heel, if you will. - Homer Simpson

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. - Benjamin Franklin

It was 2:00 p.m., too early for wine but not for chocolate. - Andrea Hurst

Some call it Cocktail Hour. To me, it's a support group. - Unknown

Stop trying to make everybody happy - you're not tequila. - Unknown

Drinking rum before noon makes you a pirate, not an alcoholic. - Unknown

I never drank anything stronger than beer before I was twelve. - WC Fields

One martini is all right, two is too many, three is not enough. - James Thurber

A meal of bread, cheese, and beer constitutes the perfect food. - Queen Elizabeth I

Memorial services are the cocktail parties of the geriatric set. - Ralph Richardson

I'm aging like fine wine. I'm getting complex and fruity. - Unknown

You ought to get out of those wet clothes and into a dry martini. - Mae West

Whatsoever was the father of a disease, an ill diet was the mother. - George Herbert

Your diet is a bank account. Good food choices are good investments. - Bethenny Frankel

Men are like wine. Some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age. - Pope John XXIII

You can lead a horse to water but I'd rather ride it to the liquor store. - Wayne Nowazek

Whiskey is by far the most popular of all remedies that won't cure a cold. - Jerry Vale

Every single diet I ever fell off of was because of potatoes and gravy of some sort. - Dolly Parton

I'll bring ya a bottle of champagne. Maybe I'll even bring home a whole maggot. - Archie Bunker

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke

Why is it that everybody's suing the tobacco companies and not the alcohol companies? - Donald Trump

Juicing isn't about binging and cleansing; I try to incorporate it into a balanced diet. - Eddie Huang

I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I lost two weeks. - Joe E Lewis

Just as Jesus created wine from water, we humans are capable of transmuting emotion into music. - Carlos Santana

Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine. - Fran Lebowitz

I'm on a strict liquid diet: Mimosas for breakfast, Margaritas for lunch, Martinis for dinner. - Unknown

Every form of addiction is bad, no matter whether the narcotic be alcohol or morphine or idealism. - Carl Jung

I grew up on a steady diet of science fiction, especially apocalyptic and postapocalyptic fiction. - Justin Cronin

I'm making wine at home, but I'm making it out of raisins so it will be aged automatically. - Steven Wright

I love to go to a movie, get a Diet Coke and a barrel of popcorn, and sit there with my kids and watch a film. - William Shatner

Ninety percent I'll spend on good times, women and Irish Whiskey. The other ten percent I'll probably waste. - Tug McGraw

We have embarked upon the world's largest and longest cocktail party, and every issue imaginable is up for grabs. - Geoffrey Moore

I'd learned some things. I knew you weren't supposed to hold a good wine at the top - the paper bag falls off. - Pat Paulsen

A dark-chocolate truffle melts in my mouth, and I forget about everything else... even the fact that I'm on a diet. - Barbara Brooke

It was so quiet, a reservation kind of quiet, where you can hear somebody drinking whiskey on the rocks three miles away. - Sherman Alexie

I have made an important discovery - that alcohol, taken in sufficient quantities, produces all the effects of intoxication. - Oscar Wilde

My daily diet consists of basically anything I think looks tasty, whether that's pizza, sushi, burgers, quesadillas. I like everything. - Cameron Dallas

Morals are not, like bacon, to be cured by hanging; nor, like wine, to be improved by sea voyages; nor, like honey, to be preserved in cells. - William Taylor