#1 humor site on the 'net

Vinyl Siding

How Bubba made record sales in house construction last year

Vinyl Siding thanks to Wayne Nowazek

Vinyl house siding makes side-show appearance

Vinyl house siding makes side-show appearance
Stuart McLean's early days at the Vinyl Cafe

QuotaBills
Jazz is democracy in music. - Wynton Marsalis

Life is too short to drink the house wine. - Helen Thomas

Snoring: 1. Sheet music; 2. Sound sleeping. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Rock and roll: music for the neck downwards. - Keith Richards

A house divided against itself cannot stand. - Abraham Lincoln

Music is like a dream. One that I cannot hear. - Ludwig van Beethoven

Music in the soul can be heard by the universe. - Lao Tzu

The road to success is always under construction. - Lily Tomlin

Life is one grand, sweet song, so start the music. - Ronald Reagan

Writing about music is like dancing about architecture. - Elvis Costello

You just pick a chord, go twang, and you've got music. - Sid Vicious

Interval In Music: The distance from one piano to the next - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Better a hundred enemies outside the house than one inside. - Arabic proverb

Music can be made anywhere, is invisible and does not smell. - W H Auden

May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house. - George Carlin

Life is a rich strain of music, suggesting a realm too fair to be. - George William Curtis

Nothing is capable of being well set to music that is not nonsense. - Joseph Addison

Classical music is the kind we keep thinking will turn into a tune. - Kin Hubbard

All music is folk music. I ain't never heard no horse sing a song. - Louis Armstrong

My friend Sam has one leg. I went to his house. I couldn't go up the stairs. - Steven Wright

I wouldn't run for President. I wouldn't want to move to a smaller house. - Bono

If you look deep enough you will see music; the heart of nature being everywhere music. - Thomas Carlyle

Music is everybody's possession. It's only publishers who think that people own it. - John Lennon

Music has healing power. It has the ability to take people out of themselves for a few hours. - Elton John

Crafting fills my life, and my closets, and my drawers, and every empty tote bag in the house. - Unknown

It is simply my life, music. I live it, breathe it, talk with it. I am almost unconscious of it. - Arthur Rubinstein

When a man has no design but to speak plain truth, he may say a great deal in a very narrow compass. - Sir Richard Steele

Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget for a butler. - WC Fields

Boxing is like a ballet, except there's no music, no choreography, and the dancers hit each other. - Jack Handey

Gonna be incrimated... they're gonna keep the ashes around the house in one of them silver urinals. - Archie Bunker

Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shovelling the walk before it stops snowing. - Phyllis Diller

The Honourable Lady was once an egg and people on both sides of this House greatly regret its fertilisation. - Nicholas Fairbairn

I'm 42 around the chest, 52 around the waist, 92 around the golf course, and a nuisance around the house. - Groucho Marx

If being an egomaniac means I believe in what I do and in my art or music, then in that respect you can call me that. - John Lennon

Music is your own experience, your thoughts, your wisdom. If you don't live it, it won't come out of your horn. - Charlie Parker

Music expresses feeling and thought, without language; it was below and before speech, and it is above and beyond all words. - Robert G Ingersoll

Having children is like living in a frat house - nobody sleeps, everything's broken and there's a lot of throwing up. - Ray Romano

Every woman's dream is that a man will take her in his arms, throw her into bed... and clean the whole house while she sleeps. - Unknown

At fifty, the madwoman in the attic breaks loose, stomps down the stairs, and sets fire to the house. She won't be imprisoned anymore. - Erica Jong

I went to the hardware store and bought some used paint. It was in the shape of a house. I also bought some batteries, but they weren't included. - Steven Wright


Triple Bypass Burger

Hyphenated Names

Indian Fish Pond

Lunch Anyone?

Wet T-Shirt Contest Winners

Giraffe Lunch

Bathroom Celebration

Tennis Ball Retriever

One

Tonsil Ring

Brew Haul-her - 12 Brewskies At A Time

Anon-y-moose

Redneck Beer Opener

Greek Monk

Dates For Everyone

Max Occupancy Rounded to 100

Group Photo

Awning Truck Advertising

Harley Load

Face To Face

Who Needs Physics?

Benched Puppies

Water Relief

Shot Glasses