#1 humor site on the 'net

Vegetarian Wall Mounts

Where Vegan hunters put their trophies

Vegetarian Wall Mounts thanks to Wayne Nowazek

This year Trophy Veggies are in style

QuotaBills
Tacos are the food of genius. - Heather Brewer

Fine words do not produce food. - Nigeria Proverb

The most dangerous food is wedding cake. - American Saying

My diet is like Atkins, but with the carbs. - BJ Penn

She did not so much cook as assassinate food. - Storm Jameson

Queuing tips for fans: wrap up and bring food! - Niall Horan

There is no love sincerer than the love of food. - George Bernard Shaw

Laughter is brightest in the place where the food is. - Ireland Proverb

The food in Yugoslavia is fine if you like pork tartare. - Ed Begley Jr.

Before eating, always take a little time to thank the food. - Arapaho Proverb

The perils of duck hunting are great - especially for the duck. - Walter Cronkite

I don't diet, I just don't eat as much as I'd like to. - Linda Evangelista

Whatsoever was the father of a disease, an ill diet was the mother. - George Herbert

I won't be impressed with technology until I can download food. - Unknown

Fang drops so much food on his ties we keep them in the refrigerator. - Phyllis Diller

If you are looking for a fly in your food, it means that you are full. - South Africa Proverb

A gourmet who thinks of calories is like a tart who looks at her watch. - James Beard

Short of screaming-hot Thai food, everything can be suitable for kids too. - Guy Fieri

If you need 100 rounds to kill a deer, maybe hunting isn't your sport. - Elayne Boosler

What else is there to live for? Chinese food and women. There is nothing else! - Dudley Moore

Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread and pumpkin pie. - Jim Davis

The first time I tried organic wheat bread, I thought I was chewing on roofing material. - Robin Williams

I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals. I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants. - A. Whitney Brown

The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day you're off it. - Jackie Gleason

I need to tone up, as I eat a lot of fast food. I love Maccy D's, Subway and Domino's. - Amy Childs

The highlight of my childhood was making my brother laugh so hard that food came out of his nose. - Garrison Keillor

Chocolate symbolizes, as does no other food, luxury, comfort, sensuality, gratification, and love. - Karl Petzke

Number theorists are like lotus-eaters – having once tasted of this food they can never give it up. - Leopold Kronecker

Part of the secret of a success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside. - Mark Twain

My wife is on a diet. Coconuts and bananas. She hasn't lost any weight, but she can sure climb a tree. - Henny Youngman

You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it. - Jeff Foxworthy

Marge, I'm going to miss you so much. And it's not just the sex. It's also the food preparation. - Homer Simpson

I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis

America is a country where half the money is spent buying food, and the other half is spent trying to lose weight. - Unknown

The biggest seller is cookbooks and the second is diet books - how not to eat what you've just learned now to cook. - Andy Rooney

If another one of my Whole Food friends says my wife should have a home birth, I am going to punch all the soy on the planet. - Patton Oswalt

I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright

One of my biggest fears is that I'm going to die alone in my home, and my cats will eat me because I am too dead to open their food cans. - Kelli Jae Baeli

How is it that mercury is not safe for food additives and Over the Counter drug products, but it is safe in our vaccines and dental amalgams? - Dan Burton

I'll paddle board, swim in the ocean, roll in the sand, soak up the sun, eat good food, be with friends and family and go fishing with my dad. - Behati Prinsloo


Donut Hole History

The Original Homeland Security

2020 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars (3)

Bustache

I Will Never Tell

Vancouver Snow Plow

Costco Wheels

British Accountant

Find Your Car

First Selfie

Spider Trap

Soothing Hairstyle

Winter Ready

Rush Job Calendar

Head Games

My Favourite Day of the Year

Millionaire Women

Face Palm

Restaurant Valentines

No Pit Stop Car

Men's Vacuum Cleaner

Love Lost

Below Ground

Religious Valentine