#1 humor site on the 'net

Vegetarian Wall Mounts

Where Vegan hunters put their trophies

Vegetarian Wall Mounts thanks to Wayne Nowazek

This year Trophy Veggies are in style

QuotaBills
I hid myself in food. - Gordon Ramsay

Diets are mainly food for thought. - N Wylie Jones

Patience is the secret to good food. - Gail Simmons

It's okay to play with your food. - Emeril Lagasse

Food is the most primitive form of comfort. - Sheila Graham

She did not so much cook as assassinate food. - Storm Jameson

Food is an important part of a balanced diet. - Fran Lebowitz

Diets are for those who are thick and tired of it. - Unknown

Let food be thy medicine and medicine be thy food. - Hippocrates

Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow you may diet. - Unknown

Chocolate is more than a food, but less than a drug. - R J Huxtable

Nothing burns more calories than dancing in 5-inch heels. - Ariana Grande

You know, I could rent you out as a decoy for duck hunters. - Groucho Marx

I think about food literally all day every day. It's a thing. - Taylor Swift

I won't be impressed with technology until I can download food. - Unknown

Fang drops so much food on his ties we keep them in the refrigerator. - Phyllis Diller

In Heaven, chocolate has no calories and is served as the main course. - Unknown

If you are looking for a fly in your food, it means that you are full. - South Africa Proverb

If you need 100 rounds to kill a deer, maybe hunting isn't your sport. - Elayne Boosler

I'm an emotional eater. When I get upset, my diet goes out the window. - Kelly Osbourne

The maxim that the "best is the cheapest" does not apply to food. - W.O. Atwater

Exercise is king, nutrition is queen. Put them together and you have a kingdom. - Jack LaLanne

The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook. - Julia Child

Hunting is not a sport. In a sport, both sides should know they're in the game. - Paul Rodriguez

Every single diet I ever fell off of was because of potatoes and gravy of some sort. - Dolly Parton

I'm a Catholic deer hunter. I am happy to be clinging to my guns and my religion. - Paul Ryan

I always thought that bagels and lox was my soul food, but it turns out it's sushi. - Sara Sheridan

If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world. - JRR Tolkien

The highlight of my childhood was making my brother laugh so hard that food came out of his nose. - Garrison Keillor

The automatic stabilizer is unemployment insurance, food stamps, additional coverage of Medicaid. - Franklin Raines

You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather. - Jeff Foxworthy

A moose is an animal with horns on the front of its head and a hunting lodge wall on the back of it. - Groucho Marx

You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it. - Jeff Foxworthy

I wouldn't pay for a personal trainer, but I would pay someone to just knock unhealthy food out of my hands. - Bill Murray

The biggest seller is cookbooks and the second is diet books - how not to eat what you've just learned now to cook. - Andy Rooney

The disparity between a restaurant's price and food quality rises in direct proportion to the size of the pepper mill. - Bryan Miller

If another one of my Whole Food friends says my wife should have a home birth, I am going to punch all the soy on the planet. - Patton Oswalt

Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water. - WC Fields

Mancation: A man's vacation. Generally includes lots of beer, a Redneck grill, slabs of meat for cooking and a sack of fireworks. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I like a quiet evening with family or friends over, great food and great discussion, and a lot of laughter. That's really what fills my tank. - Anna Eshoo


How To Tweet Others

Nutella Soother

Autumn Camouflage

Go Play Outside

Be Someone

Arkansas Divorce Application

Three Finger Carrot

Braided Horse Tail

Owl Glove

Far North Cable Guys

Openish Hours

Lead Sled Dog

Pet Food Tester

Gold Bar Carrot Cake

Looking For A Mate

Food For Thought

Kanye Twitty

Skull Tentacles

Ukrainian Cattle Car

CreepEye

Canadian Whiskey

Winter Tree

WrenchWare

Dog Sled