#1 humor site on the 'net

Unfortunate Sign Burnouts

Worn out signs with alternate meanings

Unfortunate Sign Burnouts thanks to Keith Blake

When you're hurt and need Elf Storage

QuotaBills
What is to give light must endure burning. - Viktor Frankl

Put the light out, and all women are alike. - German Proverb

Wherever there's light, there's bugs. - Harry Ironside

A true star shines her light on others. Be a star. - Chloe Pink

To play billiards well is a sign of ill-spent youth. - Charles Roupell

How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign? - George Carlin

By the time I have money to burn, my fire will have burnt out. - Unknown

Abbreviation: An inordinately long word in light of its meaning - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I feel some responsibility to shine light on things that I love. - Flying Lotus

If there is light in the soul, there will be beauty in the person. - Chinese Proverb

Education is not the filling of a pail, but the lighting of a fire. - William Butler Yeats

Truth will ultimately prevail where there is pains to being it to light. - George Washington

At Motel 6 in Amish Country, I wonder if they leave the light on for you? - Jay London

The sign said "eight items or less." So I changed my name to Les. - Steven Wright

Walking with a friend in the dark is better than walking alone in the light. - Helen Keller

A careful driver is one who honks his horn when he goes through a red light. - Henry Morgan

How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb? How many can you afford? - Blanche Knott

Truth is like heat or light; its vibrations are endless, and are endlessly felt. - Margaret Deland

If you want light to come into your life, you need to stand where it is shining. - Guy Finley

Who is more foolish, the child afraid of the dark or the man afraid of the light? - Maurice Freehill

To be satisfied with yourself is a sure sign that your forward motion has stopped. - Unknown

Don't tell me the moon is shining; show me the glint of light on broken glass. - Anton Chekhov

When a man falls into his anecdotage, it is a sign for him to retire from the world. - Benjamin Disraeli

Tears shed for another person are not a sign of weakness. They are a sign of a pure heart. - Jose N Harris

Usually a Range Rover would be beaten away from the lights by a diesel powered wheelbarrow. - Jeremy Clarkson

The fly that doesn't want to be swatted is most secure when it lights on the fly-swatter. - G.C. Lichtenberg

HonkoSecond: The time between the light turning green and the sound from the car horn behind you - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank. - Woody Allen

Fathers are like a lighthouse - when there is fog his children can always depend on seeing the light. - Unknown

I saw a sign: "Rest Area 25 Miles". That's pretty big. Some people must be really tired. - Steven Wright

I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness for it shows me the stars. - Og Mandino

I cannot work; I cannot speak; I cannot live or love as I should, unless God's wisdom lights my path. - David Jeremiah

I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. - Steven Wright

Every man must decide whether he will walk in the light of creative altruism, or in the darkness of destructive selfishness. - Martin Luther King Jr

Remembering that each of us will take our turns in darkness and in light, let us be light for one another when the darkness falls. - Unknown

No sign of pleasure greeted the announcement. The mood in the hall was leaden.
My mood was livelier. Fright is livelier than lead. - Gail Carson Levine

Abundance and vigor of automatic movements are desirable, and even a considerable degree of restlessness is a good sign in young children. - G Stanley Hall

Distinguished ancestors shed a powerful light on their descendants, and forbid the concealment either of their merits or of their demerits. - Gaius S. Crispus

If we ever travel thousands of light years to a planet inhabited by intelligent life, let's just make patterns in their crops and leave. - Bill Murray

And God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected. - Spike Milligan


Millionaire Women

Laptop Cooler

Scan Scam

Motorcycle Taxi

I've Got Time

Clangeroo

Redneck Cooler

Instead Of Flowers

Mt. Rushmore from the Canadian Side

I Love Summer

Karma Towing

Salmon-chanted Evening

Hands On Tree

Fart Facts

New Medicare Program for Senior Citizens

Down Under Bat

Muffler Hanger

Construction Playground

Couch Dog vs. Paint Shop Pros

Spaghetti Tree

Take Away Van

Will To Live

Redneck Bra

Politician Plane