#1 humor site on the 'net

Tree Nurture

The caring arborist supports a just cause

Tree Nurture thanks to Kenzie Barlow

Lending a helping hand - tree care tips for leaning trees

QuotaBills
Kings have long hands. - Ovid

Donut know. Donut care. - Unknown

Relief: What trees do in the spring - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Growth is the only evidence of life. - John Henry Newman

I understand. I just don't care. - Unknown

The apple will fall under the apple tree. - Greek Proverb

When fate hands you a lemon, make lemonade. - Dale Carnegie

Every problem has a gift for you in its hands. - Richard Bach

Success lies in the hands of those who want it. - Unknown

When life hands you lemons, make whiskey sours. - WC Fields

Once there was a tree, and she loved a little boy. - Shel Silverstein

All change is not growth; all movement is not forward. - Ellen Glasgow

When my wrestlers got their hands raised, I jumped for joy. - Dan Gable

There's power in looking silly and not caring that you do. - Amy Poehler

I took a walk in the woods and came out taller than the trees. - Henry David Thoreau

If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands? - Milton Berle

Growth for the sake of growth is the ideology of the cancer cell. - Edward Abbey

Ambition is the germ from which all growth of nobleness proceeds. - Oscar Wilde

If a deaf person swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap? - George Carlin

I ordered a bed from IKEA and they sent me a tree trunk and a saw. - Eileen Curtright

Take care of yourself. You never know when the world will need you. - Unknown

You can get old pretty young if you don't take care of yourself. - Yogi Berra

Keep a green tree in your heart and perhaps a singing bird will come. - Chinese Proverb

Family Tree: The only tree whose branches seek the shelter of its roots - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Clients don't care about the labor pains; they want to see the baby. - Tim Williams

Why should I care about posterity? What’s posterity ever done for me? - Groucho Marx

The trees in Siberia are miles apart - that's why the dogs are so fast. - Bob Hope

I don't care what you say about me. Just be sure to spell my name wrong. - Barbra Streisand

I don't care how old I live. I just want to be LIVING while I am living! - Jack La Lanne

The biggest challenge is how to affect public attitudes and make people care. - Jim Fowler

In joined hands there is still some token of hope, in the clinched fist none. - Victor Hugo

No matter how old you are, if a little kid hands you a toy phone, you answer it. - Dave Chappelle

Each has his own tree of ancestors, but at the top of all sits Probably Arboreal. - Robert Louis Stevenson

Health care's not about insurance! Health care's about getting treatment. - P.J. O'Rourke

My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance. - Tim Allen

Trees are not known by their leaves, nor even by their blossoms, but by their fruits. - Eleanor of Aquitaine

But we have to pass the [health care] bill so that you can find out what's in it. - Nancy Pelosi

I wish I could trade my heart for another liver, so I could drink more and care less. - Tina Fey

The true meaning of life is to plant trees, under whose shade you do not expect to sit. - Nelson Henderson

Chocolate comes from coco, which is a tree - that makes it a plant. Chocolate is salad. - Unknown

One should take good care not to grow too wise for so great a pleasure of life as laughter. - Joseph Addison

The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants. - Thomas Jefferson

If you reveal your secrets to the wind, don't blame the wind for revealing them to the trees. - Kahlil Gibran

The art of medicine consists of amusing the patient, whilst Mother Nature takes care of the cure. - Voltaire

Yes, know thyself: in great concerns or small,
Be this thy care, for this, my friend, is all. - Juvenal

The greatest happiness love can offer is the first pressure of hands between you and your beloved. - Stendhal

The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a family all wrapped up in each other. - Bill Vaughan

You know what it's like having five kids? Imagine you're drowning. And someone hands you a baby. - Jim Gaffigan

The reason there are so many tree-lined boulevards in Paris is so the German army can march in the shade. - George S Patton

One day you'll find someone who doesn't care about your past because they want to be your future. - Unknown

My wife is on a diet. Coconuts and bananas. She hasn't lost any weight, but she can sure climb a tree. - Henny Youngman

Madam, you're making history, in fact, you're making me, and I wish you'd keep my hands to yourself. - Groucho Marx

We women know how to take care of everybody so well. But the one person we have written out of the equation is us. - Suze Orman

Climb the mountains and get their good tidings. Nature's peace will flow into you as sunshine flows into trees. - John Muir

He that climbs the tall tree has won the right to the fruit; he that leaps the wide gulf should prevail in his suit. - Walter Scott

I'm telling you, things are getting out of hand. Or maybe I'm discovering that things were never in my hands. - Gordon Atkinson

It's in the democratic citizen's nature to be like a leaf that doesn't believe in the tree it's part of. - David Foster Wallace

This hour we are stretching forth our hands with the desire to teach the world the true principles of mercy and justice. - Marcus Garvey

When you know you're right, you don't care what others think. You know sooner or later it will come out in the wash. - Barbara McClintock

Strength is the capacity to break a Hershey bar into four pieces with your bare hands - and then eat just one of the pieces. - Judith Viorst

It's during the worst storms of your life that you get to see the true colors of the people who say they care about you. - Unknown

Change and growth take place when a person has risked himself and dares to become involved with experimenting with his own life. - Herbert Otto

I don't care how many beauty treatments you have, I don't care which bag you're carrying - you have to have a dress. - Vivienne Westwood

Leadership is all about caring, daring and sharing. Caring for people, Daring to Act fearlessly, and Sharing the success with all. - Sujit Lalwani

I glanced out the window at the signs of spring. The sky was almost blue, the trees were almost budding, the sun was almost bright. - Millard Kaufman

Silence is interesting. It can show confusion, indifference and sadness. But it can also show determination, confidence and caring. - Maxime Lagace

I think trees should bloom earlier in the spring. They act like they are on a schedule. It’s not like they have anywhere to go. - Jarod Kintz

Any man who thinks he can be happy and prosperous by letting the Government take care of him, better take a closer look at the American Indian. - Henry Ford

Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong. - George Carlin

The process of falling in love at first sight is as final as it is swift in such a case, but the growth of true friendship may be a lifelong affair. - Sarah O Jewett


Gas-Resistant Pram

Dubai Ski Hill

Cat Chess

Happy Periods

Stuffed Owl

Lego Brick

Wedding Games

Eat Your Vegetables

Bread Pitt

Humpback Kayak

Spill Proof Cup

First Segway

Nosey Bird

Cyclist Roast

Bike Vaulting

Balanced Food Delivery

Gone To Market

iPhone Evolution

New Air Canada Seats

Texas Wal-Mart Shopper

Walk Sign Ending

Kid Straps

Redneck Water Heater

Bike Comb