#1 humor site on the 'net

Tree Carpet

One size carpet fits all lawns - includes full grown tree

Tree Carpet thanks to Keith Blake

Adding an Arborist touch to the new neighbourhood

Laying down a quick personalized green setting
QuotaBills
Friendship is a sheltering tree. - Samuel Taylor Coleridge

Every man under his own fig tree. - Hebrew Saying

A little axe can cut down a big tree. - Jamaican Saying

The righteous will flourish like the palm tree. - Psalms 92:12

Once there was a tree, and she loved a little boy. - Shel Silverstein

A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree. - Spike Milligan

I put hardwood floors on top of wall-to-wall carpet. - Steven Wright

By trying often, the monkey learns to jump from the tree. - Cameroon Proverb

The patriot's blood is the seed of Freedom's tree. - Thomas Campbell

Life without love is like a tree without blossoms or fruit. - Kahlil Gibran

I think that I shall never see
A poem lovely as a tree. - Joyce Kilmer

Native ability without education is like a tree without fruit. - Aristippus

I took a walk in the woods and came out taller than the trees. - Henry David Thoreau

Character is the root of the tree; conduct, the fruit it bears. - E.M. Bounds

I ordered a bed from IKEA and they sent me a tree trunk and a saw. - Eileen Curtright

If a tree falls in the forest and no one hears, does it make a sound? - Unknown

Family Tree: The only tree whose branches seek the shelter of its roots - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now. - Chinese Proverb

I don't have to look up my family tree, because I know that I'm the sap. - Fred Allen

Each has his own tree of ancestors, but at the top of all sits Probably Arboreal. - Robert Louis Stevenson

If we surrendered to earth's intelligence, we could rise up rooted like trees. - Rainer M Rilke

If my Valentine you won't be,
I'll hang myself on your Christmas tree. - Ernest Hemingway

The true meaning of life is to plant trees, under whose shade you do not expect to sit. - Nelson Henderson

Chocolate comes from coco, which is a tree - that makes it a plant. Chocolate is salad. - Unknown

Someone's sitting in the shade today because someone planted a tree a long time ago. - Warren Buffett

Suburbia is where the developer bulldozes out the trees, then names the streets after them. - Bill Vaughan

Smart people that like good health spend several hours outdoors daily in the shade of trees. - Steven Magee

The stars are like the trees in the forest, alive and breathing. And they're watching me. - Haruki Murakami

The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants. - Thomas Jefferson

We breathe air, trees make air, homework kills trees, therefore homework is going to kill us all. - Unknown

Knowing trees, I understand the meaning of patience. Knowing grass, I can appreciate persistence. - Hal Borland

I still have my Christmas Tree. I looked at it today. Sure enough, I couldn't see any forests. - Steven Wright

Lord save us all from old age and broken health and a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting out blossoms. - Mark Twain

He that climbs the tall tree has won the right to the fruit; he that leaps the wide gulf should prevail in his suit. - Walter Scott

You can't be suspicious of a tree, or accuse a bird or a squirrel of subversion or challenge the ideology of a violet. - Hal Borland

If you think in terms of a year, plant a seed; if in terms of ten years, plant trees; if in terms of 100 years, teach the people. - Confucius

My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives. - Rita Rudner

In nature, nothing is perfect and everything is perfect. Trees can be contorted, bent in weird ways, and they're still beautiful. - Alice Walker

Only when the last tree has withered, and the last fish caught, and the last river been poisoned, will we realize we cannot eat money. - Cree Proverb

Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong. - George Carlin


Psychic Fair

Panda Push

Lunch Apple

Protective Wings

Socket To Me

Work Not

I Shoot People!

Warm Them Up

Nautical Sense of Humour

Vegan Brownies

Worst Action Photographer

New Ghost Rider

Paint Ladder

Sidewalk Malt Melt

Redneck Post Support

Indiana Jeans

First Performance

Puzzle Makers

Fishing Dog

Twins' First Piano Lesson

Black Sheep Friday

Black Friday Scam

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Aussie Gazpacho