#1 humor site on the 'net

Tooth Ferry

Where shed baby teeth go after the pillow

Tooth Ferry thanks to Wayne Nowazek

The real history of the tooth fairy

QuotaBills
Floss like a boss! - Unknown

Teeth are always in style. - Dr. Seuss

People like to trace their ancestry. - Richard Dawkins

The tongue is ever turning to the aching tooth. - Thomas Fuller

We break bones and we lose teeth. We play rugby. - Martin Johnson

Most every dental school has discount dental services. - Matthew Lesko

Even pearls are dark before the whiteness of his teeth. - William R. Alger

Love conquers all things - except poverty and toothache. - Mae West

Some men by ancestry are only the shadow of a mighty name. - Etheridge Knight

Trips to the dentist - I like to postpone that kind of thing. - Johnny Depp

Every tooth in a man's head is more valuable than a diamond. - Miguel de Cervantes

A dentist at work in his vocation always looks down in the mouth. - George D. Prentice

The man with a toothache thinks everyone happy whose teeth are sound. - George Bernard Shaw

It is after you have lost your teeth that you can afford to buy steaks. - Pierre Renoir

The last thing my kids ever did to earn money was lose their baby teeth. - Phyllis Diller

You don't have to brush your teeth - just the ones you want to keep. - Unknown

Too many of today's children have straight teeth and crooked morals. - Unknown

A man loses his illusions first, his teeth second, and his follies last. - Helen Rowland

We do have a zeal for laughter in most situations, give or take a dentist. - Joseph Heller

An aching tooth is better out than in.
To lose a rotting member is a gain. - Richard Baxter

I believe in moderation. I work on genealogy only on days that end in 'y'. - Richard Thiesen

I still have my teeth. I don't want to lose them at age 61 in some hockey game. - Jim Flaherty

Drill for oil? You mean drill into the ground to try and find oil? You're crazy. - Unknown

The grinding of the intellect is for most people as painful as a dentist's drill. - Leonard Woolf

For there was never yet a philosopher
That could endure the toothache patiently. - William Shakespeare

Adam and Eve had many advantages but the principal one was that they escaped teething. - Mark Twain

If suffering brought wisdom, the dentist's office would be full of luminous ideas. - Mason Cooley

A man begins cutting his wisdom teeth the first time he bites off more than he can chew. - Herb Caen

I have a constant sweet tooth, so I like anything from the bakery, like cupcakes, cookies. - Carmen Electra

Dentist: a prestidigitator who, putting metal into your mouth, pulls coin out of your pocket. - Ambrose Bierce

Character is better than ancestry, and personal conduct is of more importance than the highest. - Thomas J. Barnardo

A physician buries his mistakes, a dentist pulls them out, but a teacher has to live with them. - Unknown

My wife is such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss in the kitchen the roaches hang themselves. - Rodney Dangerfield

Some old women and men grow bitter with age. The more their teeth drop out, the more biting they get. - George D. Prentice

It is guaranteed to put all teeth on edge, including George Washington's, wherever they might be. - Vincent Canby

When you start about family, about lineage and ancestry, you are talking about every person on earth. - Alex Haley

I live at the dentist's. I'm on my third set of teeth that they put in with nails and screws. - Charles N. Reilly

Happiness is your dentist telling you it won't hurt and then having him catch his hand in the drill. - Johnny Carson

You may not realize it when it happens, but a kick in the teeth may be the best thing in the world for you. - Walt Disney

Most men would rather have their bellies opened for five hundred dollars than have a tooth pulled for five. - Martin H. Fischer

The man who has nothing to boast of but his illustrious ancestry is like the potato - the best part under ground. - Thomas Overbury

Men will confess to treason, murder, arson, false teeth, or a wig. How many of them will own up to a lack of humor? - Frank Colby

Nothing soothes me more after a long and maddening course of pianoforte recitals than to sit and have my teeth drilled. - George Bernard Shaw

I do get scared of the dentist, so a drive-through dentist might make me feel more at home. If I got to stay in my car. - Jessica Pare

To the person with a toothache, even if the world is tottering, there is nothing more important than a visit to a dentist. - George Bernard Shaw

It's a funny relationship that makeup artists have. I always feel kind of like a dentist. People look at me and think of pain. - Rick Baker

I had very good dentures once. Some magnificent gold work. It's the only form of jewelry a man can wear that women fully appreciate. - Graham Greene

The greatest thing about man is his ability to transcend himself, his ancestry and his environment and to become what he dreams of being. - Tully C. Knoles

How is it that mercury is not safe for food additives and Over the Counter drug products, but it is safe in our vaccines and dental amalgams? - Dan Burton

I am keeping with tradition today. After I learned of my Golden Globe nomination, I went to the dentist, so today, let's make it the orthodontist. - Frankie Muniz


Hooters Face Mask

Latte Art

Whiskey Toothpaste

Titanic's Non-Romantic Scene

Fake News

Steep Steps

Better Lawyer

2020 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars (3)

Snow Detour

No Time For This

Kwik-Mart Math

Croatian Landscaping

Best Fairy Tale

Back In Five Minutes

Winterized Motorcycle

If IKEA Ran GM

Six Hunnit

Different Drugs

Extreme Value

Spotted Spotters

Ant Attack

Facebook Closure

African Meal on Wheels

Hadoukens