Tons Of Anarchy

Diets are mainly food for thought. - N Wylie Jones

A balanced diet is chocolate in both hands. - Unknown

Smoking cures weight problems... eventually. - Steven Wright

Happiness is equilibrium. Shift your weight. - Tom Stoppard

Tears at times have all the weight of speech. - Ovid

I'm not gaining weight. I'm living large. - Unknown

Diets are for those who are thick and tired of it. - Unknown

A balanced diet is a Cracker Jack cookie in each hand. - Joe-kster

Computers in the future may weigh no more than 1.5 tons. - Unknown

I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already. - Tommy Cooper

I don't diet, I just don't eat as much as I'd like to. - Linda Evangelista

Whatsoever was the father of a disease, an ill diet was the mother. - George Herbert

My metabolism stinks. I can gain weight just listening to dinner music. - Ron Dentinger

One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: That word is love. - Sophocles

That's all the motorcycle is, a system of concepts worked out in steel. - Robert M. Pirsig

I gotta lose weight, Edith. I hope you remembered my diuretic cottage cheese. - Archie Bunker

The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman. - Jonathan Swift

Humor is everywhere in that there's irony in just about anything a human does. - Bill Nye

Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread and pumpkin pie. - Jim Davis

Most motorcycle problems are caused by the nut that connects the handlebars to the saddle. - Unknown

Catching a yellow-jacket in your shirt at seventy miles per hour can double your vocabulary. - Unknown

I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I lost two weeks. - Joe E Lewis

The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day you're off it. - Jackie Gleason

I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond. - Mae West

I'm on a strict liquid diet: Mimosas for breakfast, Margaritas for lunch, Martinis for dinner. - Unknown

My wife is on a diet. Coconuts and bananas. She hasn't lost any weight, but she can sure climb a tree. - Henny Youngman

The irony of the matter is that the future generations do not have a vote. In effect, we hold their proxy. - Charles J Hitch

Nobody can fail to lose weight in the jungle, unless they've got a secret stash of pork pies somewhere. - Colin Baker

I love to go to a movie, get a Diet Coke and a barrel of popcorn, and sit there with my kids and watch a film. - William Shatner

A healthy male adult bore consumes each year one and a half times his own weight in other people's patience. - John Updike

I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis

America is a country where half the money is spent buying food, and the other half is spent trying to lose weight. - Unknown

The first requisite of a good citizen in this republic of ours is that he shall be able and willing to pull his weight. - Theodore Roosevelt

A dark-chocolate truffle melts in my mouth, and I forget about everything else... even the fact that I'm on a diet. - Barbara Brooke

People are more violently opposed to fur than leather because it's safer to harass rich women than motorcycle gangs. - Unknown

I feel about airplanes the way I feel about diets. It seems to me that they are wonderful things for other people to go on. - Jean Kerr

Confidence is beautiful, no matter your size, no matter your weight. Be confident in who you are and you'll be beautiful. - Unknown

My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz

People think that at the top there isn't much room. They tend to think of it as an Everest. My message is that there is tons of room at the top. - Margaret Thatcher

The best way to lose weight is to close your mouth - something very difficult for a politician. Or watch your food - just watch it, don't eat it. - Edward I Kock