#1 humor site on the 'net

To Mother

To those who miss their mother on Mother's Day

To Mother thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

Special memories on Mother's Day

Thoughts of the many sacrifices Mom made over the years

QuotaBills
Mamogram: A telegram to Mom - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Leisure is the Mother of Philosophy. - Thomas Hobbes

Necessity is the mother of attraction. - Luke McKissack

Ignorance is the mother of admiration. - George Chapman

Necessity is the mother of taking chances. - Mark Twain

Getting caught is the mother of invention. - Robert Byrne

I know how to do anything - I'm a mom. - Roseanne Barr

You trust your mother, but you cut the cards. - Unknown

An ounce of mother is worth a tone of priest. - Spanish Proverb

Mother-In-Law Sandwich: Cold shoulder and tongue - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Me and your mother ain't no duke or duke-ess. - Archie Bunker

A rich child often sits in a poor mother's lap. - Danish Proverb

There is no place like home - except Grandma's. - Unknown

The best part of him ran down his mother's legs. - Jackie Gleason

This is really a lovely horse. I once rode her mother. - Ted Walsh

Mirror, mirror, on the wall, I am my mother after all. - Unknown

Jesus was a Jew, yes, but only on his mother's side. - Archie Bunker

Air pollution is turning Mother Nature prematurely gray. - Irv Kupcinet

Life began with waking up and loving my mother's face. - George Eliot

Food, love, mother and career: the four basic guilt groups. - Cathy Guisewite

I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father. - Greg Norman

Ireland is a fruitful mother of genius, but a barren nurse. - Unknown

Adam was the luckiest man in the world - he had no mother-in-law. - Sholom Aleichem

My mother was my role model before I even knew what that word was. - Lisa Leslie

Mother is a verb. It's something you do. Not just who you are. - Dorothy C Fisher

Grandma, thank you for being my anchor in this stormy sea of life. - Unknown

A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but you mean your mother. - Unknown

My grandmother took a bath every year, whether she was dirty or not. - Brendan Behan

No one else, ever, will think you're great the way your mother does. - Mary Matalin

My religious background is that my mother is a Christian Dior Scientist. - Robin Williams

My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it. - Mark Twain

I'd like to be the ideal mother, but I'm too busy raising my kids. - Unknown

Necessity may be the mother of invention, but play is certainly the father. - Roger von Oech

My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one. - Groucho Marx

A mother is not a person to lean on, but a person to make leaning unnecessary. - Dorothy C Fisher

Grandmother, as she gets older, is not fading, but becoming more concentrated. - Paulette Alden

Every boy should have two things: a dog and a mother willing to let him have one. - Unknown

My mom used to say that Greek Easter was later because then you get stuff cheaper. - Amy Sedaris

My mother-in-law had a pain beneath her left breast. Turned out to be a trick knee. - Phyllis Diller

On Valentine's Day, I wired flowers for my mother-in-law, but she found the fuse. - Milton Berle

Mother is the heartbeat in the home; and without her, there seems to be no heart throb. - Leroy Brownlow

The Iron Curtain may be a thing of the past, but Mother Russia is as mysterious as ever. - Robert Gottlieb

I just wasn't cut out to be a Chinese Tiger Mom. I'm more of an Irish Setter Dad. - P.J. O'Rourke

My perspective on my mother has changed immensely. She was a lot taller when I was younger. - Howie Mandel

When you are looking at your mother, you are looking at the purest love you will ever know. - Charley Benetto

My mom always said, "Don't say if I make it", say, "When I make it!" - Mariah Carey

If you have a mom, there is nowhere you are likely to go where a prayer has not already been. - Robert Brault

Why do grandparents and grandchildren get along so well? They have the same enemy - the mother. - Claudette Colbert

Said the daughter: "I don't have to help my Mom with the housework. She knows how." - Unknown

A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after. - Peter DeVries

If a tie is like kissing your sister, losing is like kissing your grandmother with her teeth out. - George Brett

My grandmother was a very tough woman. She buried three husbands, and two of them were just napping. - Rita Rudner

Sayin' grace - it's just thankin' Mother Nature, whose 1st name just happens to be Grace. - Archie Bunker

There are only two things a child will share willingly - communicable diseases and his mother's age. - Benjamin Spock

Drunk Man: "I can't bear fools."
Dorothy Parker: "Apparently your mother could." - Dorothy Parker

A man never sees all that his mother has been to him until it's too late to let her know that he sees it. - W D Howells

Honolulu - it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife's mother. - Ken Dodd

There has never been, nor will there ever be, anything quite so special as the love between a mother and a son. - Unknown

I love those hockey moms. You know what they say the difference between a hockey mom and a pit bull is? Lipstick. - Sarah Palin

I am one of those cliff-hanging Catholics. I don't believe in God, but I do believe that Mary was his mother. - Martin Sheen

There is an endearing tenderness in the love of a mother to a son that transcends all other affections of the heart. - Washington Irving

Over the years, I learned so much from mom. She taught me about the importance of home and history and family and tradition. - Martha Stewart

I think Mick Jagger would be astounded and amazed if he realized that to many people he is not a sex symbol, but a mother image. - David Bowie

A mother's heart, a mother's faith, and a mother's steadfast love were fashioned by the angels and sent from God above. - Unknown

The remarkable thing about my mother is that for 30 years she served us nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found. - Calvin Trillin

Worrying is less work than doing something to fix the worry. Everybody wants to save the earth; nobody wants to help Mom with the dishes. - P.J. O'Rourke

Love as powerful as your mother's for you leaves its own mark ... to have been loved so deeply ... will give us some protection forever. - J K Rowling

Secretary: "It must be hard to lose your mother-in-law." WC Fields: "Yes it is, very hard. It's almost impossible." - WC Fields

My mother had a slender, small body, but a large heart - a heart so large that everybody's joys found welcome in it, and hospitable accommodation. - Mark Twain

Chutzpa is that quality enshrined in a man who, having killed his mother and father, throws himself on the mercy of the court because he is an orphan. - Leo Rosten


Greek Monk

Dates For Everyone

Max Occupancy Rounded to 100

Group Photo

Awning Truck Advertising

Harley Load

Face To Face

Who Needs Physics?

Benched Puppies

Water Relief

Shot Glasses

Men in Denim

Chocolate Couch

Ant Attack

Extreme Pressure Cooker

Just Thinking

Nothing Wrong Picture

Lipstick Dog

Hair Strengthener

Whale Photobomb

World Peas

Hide and Seek

Hoodie Onesy

Going Around In Circles