Tearable Puns

Silence is safer than speech. - Epictetus

Puns are the highest form of literature. - Alfred Hitchcock

Discretion in speech is more than eloquence. - Francis Bacon

I am the Roman Emperor and am above grammar. - Emperor Sigismund

Tears at times have all the weight of speech. - Ovid

Speech was given to man to disguise his thoughts. - Charles de Talleyrand

Life is a foreign language; all men mispronounce it. - Christopher Morley

Free speech is a great idea, but we're in a war. - Lindsey Graham

Ratify: To use a spell and turn a person into a rodent - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A fool is known by his speech; and a wise man by silence. - Pythagoras

Real programmers can write assembly code in any language. - Larry Wall

Leadership is the capacity to translate vision into reality. - Warren G Bennis

We need a president who's fluent in at least one language. - Buck Henry

England and America are two countries separated by a common language. - George Bernard Shaw

A pun is the lowest form of humor, unless you thought of it yourself. - Doug Larson

If you're a good numbers person, you're a bad language person. - Frank Luntz

Wisdom is knowing when to speak your mind and when to mind your speech. - Evangel

It usually takes more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech. - Mark Twain

If we are a country committed to free speech, then why do we have phone bills? - Steven Wright

Three problems we have: lack of boundaries, insufficient language, incompletions. - Thomas Leonard

A synonym is a word you use when you can't spell the first word you thought of. - Burt Bacharach

I personally think we developed language because of our deep inner need to complain. - Jane Wagner

We really have everything in common with America nowadays except, of course, language. - Oscar Wilde

People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid. - Soren Kierkegaard

Great literature is simply language charged with meaning to the utmost possible degree. - Ezra Pound

Everybody laughs the same in every language because laughter is a universal connection. - Yakov Smirnoff

A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous. - Ingrid Bergman

Officialese: A government language where you can understand the words, but not the sentences - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Every St. Patrick's Day every Irishman goes out to find another Irishman to make a speech to. - Unknown

Give me a few lines of a man's handwriting; that will be sufficient for me to get him hanged. - Cardinal Richelieu

German is the most extravagantly ugly language - it sounds like someone using a sick bag on a 747. - Willy Rushton

You're an old-timer if you can remember when setting the world on fire was a figure of speech. - Franklin P Jones

Sometimes I have kept my feelings to myself, because I could find no language to describe them in. - Jane Austen

The protean nature of the computer is such that it can act like a machine or like a language to be shaped and exploited. - Alan Kay

The ability to speak several languages is an asset, but the ability to keep your mouth shut in any language is priceless. - Unknown

Charity, good behaviour, amiable speech, unselfishness - these by the chief sage have been declared the elements of popularity. - Burmese Proverb

The nine most terrifying words in the English language are,
"I'm from the government and I'm here to help." - Ronald Reagan

"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence? - George Carlin

Music is a language that doesn't speak in particular words. It speaks in emotions, and if it's in the bones, it's in the bones. - Keith Richards

I remain convinced that obstinate addiction to ordinary language in our private thoughts is one of the main obstacles to progress in philosophy. - Bertrand Russell