Tearable Puns

A pun is the lowest form of wit. - John Dennis

Coincidences are spiritual puns. - G K Chesterton

Monogamy: A synonym for monotony. - Gregory Nunn

Fair speech may hide a foul heart. - JRR Tolkien

Speech is silver; silence is golden. - Thomas Carlyle

What's another word for thesaurus? - Steven Wright

A riot is the language of the unheard. - Martin Luther King, Jr.

Music is the universal language of mankind. - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

A proverb is to speech what salt is to food. - Arabic Proverb

Good sayings are like pearls strung together. - Chinese Proverb

Life is a foreign language; all men mispronounce it. - Christopher Morley

Free speech is a great idea, but we're in a war. - Lindsey Graham

Language exerts hidden power, like a moon on the tides. - Rita Mae Brown

You're not a star until they can spell your name in Karachi. - Humphrey Bogart

I failed kindergarten because I couldn't spell my last name. - Zach Galifianakis

Retire? I can't spell the word. I'd play in a wheelchair. - Keith Richards

Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see. - Mark Twain

Grammar is a piano I play by ear. All I know about grammar is its power. - Joan Didion

It usually takes more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech. - Mark Twain

Out of suffering comes creativity. You cannot spell painting without pain. - John Lithgow

Symptoms are the body's mother tongue; signs are in a foreign language. - John Brown

Under all speech that is good for anything there lies a silence that is better. - Thomas Carlyle

Three problems we have: lack of boundaries, insufficient language, incompletions. - Thomas Leonard

Nostalgia is like a grammar lesson: you find the present tense, but the past perfect. - Owens L. Pomeroy

Everybody laughs the same in every language because laughter is a universal connection. - Yakov Smirnoff

At no time is freedom of speech more precious than when a man hits his thumb with a hammer. - Marshall Lumsden

I never made a mistake in grammar but once in my life, and as soon as I done it. I seen it. - Carl Sandburg

The trouble with her is that she lacks the power of conversation but not the power of speech. - George Bernard Shaw

German is the most extravagantly ugly language - it sounds like someone using a sick bag on a 747. - Willy Rushton

Music is the language of the spirit. It opens the secret of life bringing peace, abolishing strife. - Kahlil Gibran

I, schooled in misery, know many purifying rites, and I know where speech is proper and where silence. - Aeschylus

Although he tortures the English language, he has not yet succeeded in forcing it to reveal its meaning. - J B Morton

The longest word in the English language is the one following the phrase, "And now a word from our sponsor." - Hal Eaton

Morals are an acquirement - like music, like a foreign language, like piety, poker, paralysis - no man is born with them. - Mark Twain

Charity, good behaviour, amiable speech, unselfishness - these by the chief sage have been declared the elements of popularity. - Burmese Proverb

The wise man is but a clever infant, spelling letters from a hieroglyphical prophetic book, the lexicon of which lies in eternity. - Thomas Carlyle

"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence? - George Carlin

I remain convinced that obstinate addiction to ordinary language in our private thoughts is one of the main obstacles to progress in philosophy. - Bertrand Russell

Wise sayings are not only for ornament, but for action and business, having a point or edge, whereby knots in business are pierced and discovered. - Francis Bacon

Mathematicians are like Frenchmen: whatever you say to them they translate into their own language and forthwith it is something entirely different. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe