Tear-Paper Wall

Home is a refuge for all good men. - Unknown

What is a home without children? Quiet. - Henny Youngman

A road to a friend's house is never long. - Danish Proverb

One aged man - one man - can't fill a house. - Robert Frost

The road to success is always under construction. - Lily Tomlin

We can dance on pinheads till the cows come home. - Alastair Campbell

Pedestrian: a man whose son is home from college. - Unknown

I had to sink my yacht to make the guests go home. - F Scott Fitzgerald

While in the ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home. - Unknown

A man's home is his castle, and his wife is the janitor. - Lucille Kallen

I can't clean house and save the world at the same time. - Unknown

I have so much hair, I have a separate wig closet in my house. - Sherri Shepherd

My wife is such a bad cook, in my house we pray after the meal. - Rodney Dangerfield

A house with old furniture has no need of ghosts to be haunted. - Hope Mirrlees

At worst, a house unkept cannot be so distressing as a life unlived. - Rose Macaulay

I will clean house when Sears comes out with a riding vacuum cleaner. - Roseanne Barr

In the haunted house of life, art is the only stair that doesn't creak. - Tom Robbins

I wanted a man who wouldn't stray so I'm dating a guy on house arrest. - Kim Bove

I bought a house on a one-way dead-end road. I don't know how I got there. - Steven Wright

The fellow that owns his own home is always just coming out of a hardware store. - Kin Hubbard

My friend Sam has one leg. I went to his house. I couldn't go up the stairs. - Steven Wright

This stammer got me a home in Beverly Hills, and I'm not about to screw with it now. - Bob Newhart

Strength of character may be learned at work, but beauty of character is learned at home. - Henry Drummond

So finally, the great Jefferson, who always reclined to cross my freshhold is into the house. - Archie Bunker

It's not my fault I was dragged out of my house by a mob and forced to predict the weather. - Punxsutawney Phil

You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax - tomorrow you'll be afraid to cough. - Pearl Williams

Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shovelling the walk before it stops snowing. - Phyllis Diller

A little House well fill'd, a little Field well till'd, and a little Wife well will'd, are great Riches. - Benjamin Franklin

When I moved out of my mom's house at 18 I was almost as sad to leave her sewing machine behind as anything else. - Beth Ditto

I do get scared of the dentist, so a drive-through dentist might make me feel more at home. If I got to stay in my car. - Jessica Pare

I could dance with you till the cows come home...
on second thought, I'll dance with the cows till you come home. - Groucho Marx

NASA scientists have been studying giraffe skin so they can apply what they learn from it to the construction of spacesuits. - Joanna Lumley

I am like a pelican of the wilderness: I am like an owl of the desert. I watch, and am as a sparrow alone upon the house-top. - Bible

If there were no schools to take the children away from home part of the time, the insane asylums would be filled with mothers. - Edgar W. Howe

Camping is not a date; it's an endurance test. If you can survive camping with someone, you should marry them on the way home. - Yvonne Prinz

Sometimes, giving up your privacy is a little like going to the dentist and we have let him have access that no one's ever had. - Tom Petty

I have an answering machine in my car. It says, "I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out." - Steven Wright

Science is built up with facts, as a house is with stones. But a collection of facts is not more a science than a heap of stones is a house. - Jules Poincare

This is a honeydew day. That is when you get a day off and the wife says, "Honey, do this," and "Honey, do that" around the house. - Jim Lemon

Charity is a very personal equation, like we say charity begins at home. It starts with your immediate help in the house: the people who work for you. - Malaika A. Khan