#1 humor site on the 'net

Tear-Paper Wall

Peeling back the layers of personal privacy

Tear-Paper Wall thanks to Mel Hardman

Wall framing tips for new house construction

QuotaBills
Chewie, we're home. - Star Wars: The Force Awakens

There's no place like home. - The Wizard of Oz

Theater: House of thrill repute - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Home is home, though it be homely. - English Proverb

There are no elevators in the house of success. - H.H. Vreeland

Choose your neighbor before you buy your house. - African Proverb

Heaven is home. Utopia is here. Nirvana is now. - Edward Abbey

Home cooking. Where many a man thinks his wife is. - Jimmy Durante

There is nothing like staying at home for real comfort. - Jane Austen

He that troubleth his own house shall inherit the wind. - The Bible

Home is not where you live but where they understand you. - Christian Morgenstern

Peace and a well-built house cannot be bought too dearly. - Danish Proverb

May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house. - George Carlin

At worst, a house unkept cannot be so distressing as a life unlived. - Rose Macaulay

What can you do to promote world peace? Go home and love your family. - Mother Teresa

Welcome to our home. And as yous people say "shaboom" (shalom) - Archie Bunker

Census Taker: A man who goes from house to house increasing the population. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I bought a house on a one-way dead-end road. I don't know how I got there. - Steven Wright

I went to a haunted house, looked under the kitchen table, and found spirit gum. - Steven Wright

Home is a place you grow up wanting to leave, and grow old wanting to get back to. - John E Pearce

What is the use of a house if you haven’t got a tolerable planet to put it on? - Henry David Thoreau

Mother is the heartbeat in the home; and without her, there seems to be no heart throb. - Leroy Brownlow

If you want to see me, come over anytime. If you want to see my house, make an appointment. - Unknown

If you burn your neighbor's house down, it doesn't make your house look any better. - Lou Holtz

Home life as we understand it is no more natural to us than a cage is natural to a cockatoo. - George Bernard Shaw

Crafting fills my life, and my closets, and my drawers, and every empty tote bag in the house. - Unknown

Gonna be incrimated... they're gonna keep the ashes around the house in one of them silver urinals. - Archie Bunker

I'm 42 around the chest, 52 around the waist, 92 around the golf course, and a nuisance around the house. - Groucho Marx

We can't win at home, we can't win away. As general manager, I just can't figure out where else to play. - Jock Brown

Last night my wife met me at the front door. She was wearing a sexy negligee. The only trouble was, she was coming home. - Rodney Dangerfield

The primary purpose of a home is to reflect and to distribute the love of Christ. Anything that usurps that is idolatrous. - Ravi Zacharias

I have a microwave fireplace in my house... The other night I laid down in front of the fire for the evening in two minutes. - Steven Wright

My friend Sally is a nudist. I went to her house. The closets have no doors. The walls are covered with see-through wallpaper. - Steven Wright

Hockey on roller skates is like MMA in a bounce house: the elements are there, but the medium makes the whole thing ridiculous. - David Walton

The perfect date for me would be staying at home, making a big picnic in bed, eating Wotsits and cookies while watching cable TV. - Kim Kardashian

I have an answering machine in my car. It says, "I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out." - Steven Wright

Home is a name, a word, it is a strong one; stronger than magician ever spoke, or spirit ever answers to, in the strongest conjuration. - Charles Dickens

An expert is somebody who is more than fifty miles from home, has no responsibility for implementing the advice he gives, and shows slides. - Edwin Meese

Home is a place not only of strong affections, but of entire unreserve. It is life's undress rehearsal, its back-room, its dressing room. - Harriet Beecher Stowe

Perhaps someday I'll crawl back home, beaten, defeated. But not as long as I can make stories out of my heartbreak, beauty out of sorrow. - Sylvia Plath


WipeOut

Turtle Truck

How To Burn Fat

Unplugged

Praying & Preying Mantis

Good Driver

Overpass Passover

Fire Starter

Sinus Remedy - How To Clear Out Your Nostrils

Auto Strap

Never Run a Red Light

Bee Safe

Hummers Only Look Tough

Tactical Texas

Defence Budget Cuts

Welfare State

No Flies On Me

Stick Family Meal

Wet Floor

Lord Of The Watch

Close Encounters of the Whale Kind

Military Watch Tower

No Go Intersection

Public Transportation In Scotland