#1 humor site on the 'net

Take Your Pick

Marion County Police ask you to Choose Your Ride

Take Your Pick thanks to Keith Blake

Your choice - Drink, Drive, or go to Jail

QuotaBills
If it swells, ride it! - Unknown

If you pick it, it won't heal. - Unknown

Make us laugh and you can pick all pockets. - Clemence Dane

Executives pick successors in their own image. - Unknown

I think being funny is not anyone's first choice. - Woody Allen

The police must obey the law while enforcing the law. - Earl Warren

If you don't ride in the rain, you don't ride. - Unknown

Pick battles big enough to matter, small enough to win. - Jonathan Kozol

The choice you make today will usually affect tomorrow. - Unknown

Calling a taxi in Texas is like calling a rabbi in Iraq. - Fran Lebowitz

Life is like a horse - either you ride it or it rides you. - Unknown

Happiness is a conscious choice, not an automatic response. - Mildred Barthel

Go out hard. Pick it up in the middle and sprint at the end. - Browning Ross

Have fun, be active. Ride a bike instead of driving, for example. - Dan Buettner

I don't own a camera, so I travel with a police sketch artist. - George Carlin

You can figure out what the villain fears by his choice of weapons. - Connie Brockway

Never pick a fight with ugly people - they've got nothing to lose. - Robin Williams

Pessimist: One who, when he has the choice of two evils, chooses both. - Oscar Wilde

Being miserable is a habit; being happy is a habit; and the choice is yours. - Tom Hopkins

Life is never boring, but some people choose to be bored. Boredom is a choice. - Wayne W. Dyer

The history of free men is never really written by chance but by choice; their choice! - Dwight D Eisenhower

Love doesn't make the world go 'round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile. - Franklin P. Jones

Let choice whisper in your ear and love murmur in your heart. Be ready, here comes life. - Unknown

Be miserable. Or motivate yourself. Whatever has to be done, it's always your choice. - Wayne Dyer

A racehorse is an animal that can take several thousand people for a ride at the same time. - Marjorie Johnson

There's only two people in your life you should lie to... the police and your girlfriend. - Jack Nicholson

The toilets at a local police station have been stolen. Police say they have nothing to go on. - Ronnie Corbett

You don't know what is going to happen tomorrow. Life is a crazy ride, and nothing is guaranteed. - Eminem

The choice to become a mother is the choice to become one of the greatest spiritual teachers there is. - Oprah Winfrey

Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pick-up truck, and end up with a station wagon. - Tim Allen

Life is like a good watermelon, sweet and juicy... but you still have to pick out the seeds to enjoy every bit of it. - Unknown

Ninety-nine percent of the world's lovers are not with their first choice. That's what makes the jukebox play. - Willie Nelson

Men occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing ever happened. - Winston Churchill

My wife simply quoted, 'For better or worse.' It was only then that I realized the phrase was not multiple-choice. - Michael Gurnow

We are all omnibuses in which our ancestors ride, and every now and then one of them sticks his head out and embarrasses us. - Oliver Wendell Holmes Sr.

I'm planning to adopt a dog soon. It wasn't my first choice but my Doctor told me I can't have any biologically. - Bill Murray

Destiny is not a matter of chance; it is a matter of choice. It is not a thing to be waited for; it is a thing to be achieved. - William Jennings Bryan

Men may change their climate, but they cannot change their nature. A man that goes out a fool cannot ride or sail himself into common sense. - Joseph Addison

We can't control the world. We can only barely control our own reactions to it. Happiness is largely a choice, not a right or entitlement. - David C Hill

Our ancestors ... possessed a right, which nature has given to all men, of departing from the country in which chance, not choice has placed them. - Thomas Jefferson


Business School Basics

Broken Potted Plant Art

Fish Hat

Fairy Soap

Floor Legs

Microscopic Reader

Brief Case

Hairstyle Of The Year

Duck Heist - Ducks Gone Bad

Swan Heels

Windshield Defrogger

Side-Ways

Sonic Straw

Man At Work

Uncorked Wine

Double Handicap

Tetris Construction

Clorox Respirator

Our Aim

Truck Rest Stop

Romaine Empire

Hardworking Wife

What's That?

Long, Happy Marriage