Symptoms of Laziness

I'm so mean, I make medicine sick. - Muhammad Ali

There are no ugly women, only lazy ones. - Helena Rubinstein

Surgery is the cry of defeat in medicine. - Martin H. Fischer

I'm not ill, my pancreas is just lazy. - Unknown

Panic plays no part in the training of a nurse. - Elizabeth Kenny

My doctor tells me I got a communications disease. - Archie Bunker

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. - Erma Bombeck

Hope is medicine for a soul that's sick and tired. - Eric Swensson

Hard work pays off in the future, laziness pays off now. - Steven Wright

No man is a good doctor who has never been sick himself. - Chinese Proverb

You'll never be as lazy as whoever names the fireplace. - Unknown

If we become ill, modern medicine can work healing miracles. - Joseph B Wirthlin

A doctor whose breath smells has no right to medical opinion. - Martin H. Fischer

Symptoms, then are in reality nothing but the cry from suffering organs. - Jean-Martin Charcot

My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror. - Rodney Dangerfield

A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the Doctor's book. - Irish Proverb

Financial ruin from medical bills is almost exclusively an American disease. - Roul Turley

Faith and knowledge lean largely upon each other in the practice of medicine. - Peter Mere Latham

A hospital should also have a recovery room adjoining the cashier's office. - Francis O'Walsh

The art of medicine consists in amusing the patient while nature cures the disease. - Voltaire

I wonder why you can always read a Doctor's bill but you can never read his prescription. - Finley Peter Dunne

I wondher why ye can always read a doctor's bill an' ye niver can read his purscription. - Finley Peter Dunne

No idleness, no laziness, no procrastination: never put off until tomorrow what you can do today. - Lord Chesterfield

Medicine, the only profession that labours incessantly to destroy the reason for its own existence. - James Bryce

My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn't pay the bill he gave me six months more. - Walter Matthau

The road to medical knowledge is through the pathological museum and not through an apothecary's shop. - William Withey Gull

We cannot embrace God's forgiveness if we are so busy clinging to past wounds and nursing old grudges. - T D Jakes

I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis

Give me a Murphy bed, a Lazy Susan, a grandfather clock and a bulldog, and I will show you the meaning of comedy. - Jonathan Goldstein

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields

The trained nurse has become one of the great blessings of humanity, taking a place beside the physician and the priest. - William Osler

The public blabbers about preventive medicine, but will neither appreciate nor pay for it. You get paid for what you cure. - Martin H. Fischer

'Psychotherapy' is a private, confidential conversation that has nothing to do with illness, medicine, or healing. - Thomas Szasz

A doctor who cannot take a good history and a patient who cannot give one are in danger of giving and receiving bad treatment. - Unknown

A competent and self-confident person is incapable of jealousy in anything. Jealousy is invariably a symptom of neurotic insecurity. - Robert A Heinlein

I see God in every human being. When I wash the leper's wounds, I feel I am nursing the Lord himself. Is it not a beautiful experience? - Mother Teresa

When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and told my father, "We did everything we could... but he pulled through." - Rodney Dangerfield

Paul Revere was warning the British about gun control, and George Washington apparently was crossing the Delaware to bomb an abortion clinic. - Bill Maher

I make no secret of the fact that I would rather lie on a sofa than sweep beneath it. But you have to be efficient if you’re going to be lazy. - Shirley Conran

In other industries, value is defined by the ultimate stakeholder - the one who benefits, or not, from the service. We should do the same in medicine. - Dave deBronkart