#1 humor site on the 'net

Sun Tan Sales

When spray-on suntan machines were popular

Sun Tan Sales thanks to Howard Chapman

The secret's out on how blondes became blonde

Things forbidden have a secret charm. - Tacitus

Keep no secrets of thyself from thyself. - Greek Proverb

The secret of praying is praying in secret. - Leonard Ravenhill

The secret of getting things done is to act! - Dante Alighieri

Have great, secret, big, fat hopes for yourself. - Gloria Vanderbilt

The secret of success is consistency of purpose. - Benjamin Disraeli

Even dirt glitters when the sun is shining upon it. - Goethe

A woman can keep one secret - the secret of her age. - Voltaire

Gentlemen who prefer blondes usually marry brunettes. - Unknown

Even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise. - Victor Hugo

The time to repair the roof is when the sun is shining. - John F Kennedy

No one gossips about other people's secret virtues. - Bertrand Russell

Turn your face to the sun and the shadows fall behind you. - Maori Proverb

If you have a secret, people will sit a little bit closer. - Rob Cordry

Keep your eyes on the sun and you will not see the shadows. - Australian Aborigine Saying

The secret to a happy marriage? Do what your wife tells you. - Denzel Washington

The secret of your success is determined by your daily agenda. - John C Maxwell

One of the secrets of a happy life is continuous small treats. - Irish Murdoch

The secret to true happiness is low expectations and insensitivity. - Olivia Goldsmith

It is wonderful how well men can keep secrets they have not been told. - Winston Churchill

I wanted to tell you all my secrets, but you became one of them instead. - Unknown

One of the secrets of life is to make stepping stones out of stumbling blocks. - Jack Penn

We dance in a circle and suppose, while the secret sits in the middle and knows. - Robert Frost

Your secrets are safe with me because, chances are, I wasn't even listening. - Bill Murray

The secret of having a personal life is not answering too many questions about it. - Joan Collins

A photograph is a secret about a secret. The more it tells you, the less you know. - Duane Arbus

We are mirrors whose brightness is wholly derived from the sun that shines upon us. - C S Lewis

The secret of political bargaining is to look more strong than what you really are. - Subhash Bose

The sun looks down on nothing half so good as a household laughing together over a meal. - C S Lewis

The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made. - Groucho Marx

The true secret of happiness lies in taking a genuine interest in all the details of daily life. - William Morris

Part of the secret of a success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside. - Mark Twain

The secret of change is to focus all of your energy not on fighting the old, but on building the new. - Socrates

The sun never sets on the British Empire. But it rises every morning. The sky must get awfully crowded. - Steven Wright

What has been will be again, what has been done will be done again; there is nothing new under the sun. - Bible

The purpose of whistleblowing is to expose secret and wrongful acts by those in power in order to enable reform. - Glenn Greenwald

Moderation. Small helpings. Sample a little bit of everything. These are the secrets of happiness and good health. - Julia Child

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming: 1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it; 2. Whenever you're right, shut up. - Patrick Murra

As an experienced artist, I carry my work like a secret pregnancy. I am always aware of inner life and the need to protect it. - Julia Cameron

Today was about chasing sun-rays, beach waves, and sunsets. All things beautiful that give you peace are worth chasing. Everything else isn't. - April M. Monterrosa

Second Hand Work

Ostrich Fill Up

Calory Bomb

Interuption Charge

Reach For Your Dreams


Jeopardy Measuring Cup

All We Have To Do Is Stand Up

Vacuum Extender


Chinese Puzzle Car

Always Give 100% At Work

Ancient Politician

My Toaster Is Broken

Shining Stars

Tunnel Face

The Bugs Are Bad This Year

Dog Spa

Ostrich Imprint

Local Crabs

World's First Hard Hat

Bird Melons

Bag Hang-Up