#1 humor site on the 'net

Sun Tan Sales

When spray-on suntan machines were popular

Sun Tan Sales thanks to Howard Chapman

The secret's out on how blondes became blonde

QuotaBills
Could you patent the sun? - Jonas Salk

The secret to humor is surprise. - Aristotle

Patience is the secret to good food. - Gail Simmons

Self-trust is the first secret of success. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Television! Teacher, mother, secret lover! - Homer Simpson

The secret to having it all is loving it all. - Joyce Brothers

Secrets: Things we give to others to keep for us - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The secret of being a bore is to tell everything. - Voltaire

Listening is the secret to discover great stories. - Fyrefly London

What you do in secret is on Public Display before God. - Jim Hughes

Keep your face to the sun and you will never see the shadows. - Helen Keller

Study history. In history lies all the secrets of statecraft. - Winston Churchill

The secret of my success was clean living and a fast outfield. - Lefty Gomez

The secret of your success is determined by your daily agenda. - John C Maxwell

Life is a pure flame, and we live by an invisible sun within us. - Sir Thomas Brown

If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it. - Unknown

To follow, without halt, one aim: There's the secret of success. - Anna Pavlova

Three things cannot be long hidden: the sun, the moon, and the truth. - Buddha

Tell your friend a lie. If he keeps it secret, then tell him the truth. - Portuguese Proverb

A photograph is a secret about a secret. The more it tells you, the less you know. - Duane Arbus

The secret of achievement is to hold a picture of a successful outcome in the mind. - Thoreau

Many a secret that cannot be pried out by curiosity can be drawn out by indifference. - Sydney J. Harris

The secret of success is to go from mistake to mistake without losing your enthusiasm. - Unknown

In every man's heart there is a secret nerve that answers to the vibrations of beauty. - Christopher D Morley

I know it is wet and the sun is not sunny, but we can have lots of good fun that is funny. - Dr. Seuss

Trust him not with your secrets, who, when left alone in your room, turns over your papers. - Johann K Lavater

The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made. - Groucho Marx

The secret of managing is to keep the 5 guys who hate you away from the 5 guys who are undecided. - Casey Stengel

If you reveal your secrets to the wind, don't blame the wind for revealing them to the trees. - Kahlil Gibran

There's no secret about success. Did you ever know a successful man who didn't tell you about it? - Kin Hubbard

Nobody can fail to lose weight in the jungle, unless they've got a secret stash of pork pies somewhere. - Colin Baker

Moderation. Small helpings. Sample a little bit of everything. These are the secrets of happiness and good health. - Julia Child

The reason we are so pleased to find other people's secrets is that it distracts public attention from our own. - Oscar Wilde

A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining and wants it back the minute it begins to rain. - Mark Twain

I am sometimes a fox and sometimes a lion. The whole secret of government lies in knowing when to be the one or the other. - Napoleon Bonaparte

The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible. - George Burns

The secret of many a man's success in the world resides in his insight into the moods of men and his tact in dealing with them. - J.G. Holland

The greatest sweetener of human life is Friendship. To raise this to the highest pitch of enjoyment, is a secret which but few discover. - Joseph Addison

Be as beneficent as the sun or the sea, but if your rights as a rational being are trenched on, die on the first inch of your territory. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

When I was six, I entered a talent contest. I dyed my hair blond, had a chainsaw and pretended I was Eminem. The old folk weren't expecting that. - Nico Mirallegro


Elephant Hand

Venice on a Shoestring Budget

New Truck Key

Spiderman's Car

Knife Throwing Act

Another Day In Traffic

Australian Cyclist

Garden Gnome

Mute Button

Pardon My French

Irish Pothole

Yoga Pants

Baby Illusion

Mother Wrench's Gripping Story

Sechelt Sunrays

Russian BiteLifter

Propane Diving

Scuba Diving Sucks

Louisiana Turtle Dogs

Special Offer

Parking Squeeze

Music Note Chairlift

Gangsta

Reformed Buddhists