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What appears to be a bargain after too many Happy Hour drinks

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Bartender sign that packs 'em into the bar regardless

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Payday came and with it beer. - Rudyard Kipling

I work until beer o'clock. - Stephen King

I like my whiskey old and my women young. - Errol Flynn

When wine goes in strange things come out. - Friedrich Schiller

Life is too short to drink the house wine. - Helen Thomas

Wine improves with age. I improve with wine. - Unknown

I'm Hybrid. I run on chocolate and wine. - Unknown

Good friends, like wine, get better with age. - Unknown

Milk without fat is like nonalcoholic Scotch. - Andy Rooney

Talking to you is like casting pearls into wine. - Archie Bunker

There was a sound in their voices which suggested rum. - Robert Louis Sevenson

I have no special talents. I am only passionately curious. - Albert Einstein

It was 2:00 p.m., too early for wine but not for chocolate. - Andrea Hurst

A meal of bread, cheese, and beer constitutes the perfect food. - Queen Elizabeth I

God invented whiskey to prevent the Irish from ruling the world. - Irish Saying

Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy. - Benjamin Franklin

In heaven there is no beer...
That's why we drink ours here. - Unknown

Too much of anything is bad. Too much of good whisky is barely enough. - Mark Twain

A raise is like a martini: it elevates the spirit, but only temporarily. - Dan Seligman

I'll have a "Cafe Mocha Vodka Valium Latte" to go, please. - Unknown

An alcoholic is someone you don't like who drinks as much as you do. - Dylan Thomas

Marriage requires a special talent like acting. Monogamy requires genius. - Warren Beatty

Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the Bible says love your enemy. - Frank Sinatra

In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. - Ben Franklin

If one glass of wine is good for you, just imagine what a whole bottle could do! - Unknown

Kidney: 1. Midpoint of a child's leg; 2. An organ used to convert beer into urine. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I'll bring ya a bottle of champagne. Maybe I'll even bring home a whole maggot. - Archie Bunker

New York champagne - that's a phony label. They don't grow raisins in New York. - Archie Bunker

Why is it that everybody's suing the tobacco companies and not the alcohol companies? - Donald Trump

I love to sing, and I love to drink scotch. Most people would rather hear me drink scotch. - George Burns

I'm like old wine. They don't bring me out very often - but I'm well preserved. - Rose Kennedy

Jameson's Irish Whiskey really does improve with age: the older I get the more I like it. - Bob Monkhouse

I don't drink these days. I am allergic to alcohol and narcotics. I break out in handcuffs. - Robert Downey Jr.

Just as Jesus created wine from water, we humans are capable of transmuting emotion into music. - Carlos Santana

An Irishman after trying American beer for the first time: "Put it back in the horse!" - Unknown

Why do we have to wait for special moments to say nice things or tell people we care about them? - Randy K. Milholland

If you have to choose between drinking wine every day or being skinny, which would you choose: Red or White? - Unknown

Don't ever doubt yourself or waste a second of your life. It's too short, and you're too special. - Ariana Grande

There has never been, nor will there ever be, anything quite so special as the love between a mother and a son. - Unknown

There is more refreshment and stimulation in a nap, even of the briefest, than in all the alcohol ever distilled. - Ovid

Milk is the drink of babies, tea the drink of women, water the drink of beasts, and wine is the drink of the gods. - John S Blackie

A father is a life source, a protector, a life coach, a provider, and many more. You are special and indispensable. - Unknown

I'd learned some things. I knew you weren't supposed to hold a good wine at the top - the paper bag falls off. - Pat Paulsen

The Bible's full of wine. God ain't got nothing against a little drink to celebrate His Son's birthday with. - Archie Bunker

It was so quiet, a reservation kind of quiet, where you can hear somebody drinking whiskey on the rocks three miles away. - Sherman Alexie

A fruit is a vegetable with looks and money. Plus, if you let fruit rot, it turns into wine; something Brussels Sprouts never do. - P.J. O'Rourke

I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield

A woman should never be seen eating or drinking, unless it be lobster salad and Champagne, the only true feminine and becoming viands. - George G. Byron

Pilots take no special joy in walking: pilots like flying. Pilots generally take pride in a good landing, not in getting out of the vehicle. - Neil Armstrong

NASA's robot Curiosity landed on Mars. Early pictures show no signs of ESPN or beer. This makes it very clear that men are not from Mars. - Unknown


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