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Good wine needs no vine. - French Proverb

Save water - drink vodka. - Unknown

Payday came and with it beer. - Rudyard Kipling

Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker. - Ogden Nash

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. - Unknown

You can never buy beer, you just rent it. - Archie Bunker

Life is too short to drink the house wine. - Helen Thomas

Every cask smells of the wine it contains. - Spanish Proverb

We only serve fine wine. Did you bring any? - Unknown

Draft Dodger: Someone who avoids beer on tap. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Wine is the most civilized thing in the world. - Ernest Hemingway

When life hands you lemons, make whiskey sours. - WC Fields

Beer, it's the best damn drink in the world. - Jack Nicholson

Zigzag: The shortest distance between two drinks - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

There was a sound in their voices which suggested rum. - Robert Louis Sevenson

Some call it Cocktail Hour. To me, it's a support group. - Unknown

I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already. - Tommy Cooper

I'm only a beer teetotaller, not a champagne teetotaller. - George Bernard Shaw

A meal of bread, cheese, and beer constitutes the perfect food. - Queen Elizabeth I

I'm aging like fine wine. I'm getting complex and fruity. - Unknown

Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy. - Benjamin Franklin

Alcoholic: A person you don't like who drinks as much as you do - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Too much of anything is bad. Too much of good whisky is barely enough. - Mark Twain

A raise is like a martini: it elevates the spirit, but only temporarily. - Dan Seligman

I'll have a "Cafe Mocha Vodka Valium Latte" to go, please. - Unknown

One of the disadvantages of wine is that it makes a man mistake words for thoughts. - Samuel Johnson

Kidney: 1. Midpoint of a child's leg; 2. An organ used to convert beer into urine. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

New York champagne - that's a phony label. They don't grow raisins in New York. - Archie Bunker

You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar. - Groucho Marx

When Jack Benny has a party, you not only bring your own scotch, you bring your own rocks. - George Burns

I don't drink these days. I am allergic to alcohol and narcotics. I break out in handcuffs. - Robert Downey Jr.

Just as Jesus created wine from water, we humans are capable of transmuting emotion into music. - Carlos Santana

Why do we have to wait for special moments to say nice things or tell people we care about them? - Randy K. Milholland

He's so full of alcohol, if you put a lighted wick in his mouth he'd burn for three days. - Groucho Marx

Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a small snake. - WC Fields

Every form of addiction is bad, no matter whether the narcotic be alcohol or morphine or idealism. - Carl Jung

Let us make a special effort to stop communicating with each other, so we can have some conversation. - Mark Twain

I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me. - Hunter S Thompson

Leadership is the special quality which enables people to stand up and pull the rest of us over the horizon. - James L Fisher

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat. - Alex Levine

Health is your greatest wealth, so experiencing a marathon and seeing what you're capable of is really special. - Christy Turlington

We have embarked upon the world's largest and longest cocktail party, and every issue imaginable is up for grabs. - Geoffrey Moore

The Bible's full of wine. God ain't got nothing against a little drink to celebrate His Son's birthday with. - Archie Bunker

It was so quiet, a reservation kind of quiet, where you can hear somebody drinking whiskey on the rocks three miles away. - Sherman Alexie

It takes someone really brave to be a mother, someone strong to raise a child, and someone special to love someone more than herself. - Unknown

A woman should never be seen eating or drinking, unless it be lobster salad and Champagne, the only true feminine and becoming viands. - George G. Byron

A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila. - Mitch Ratcliffe

A diamond doesn't start out polished and shining. It once was nothing special, but with enough pressure and time, becomes spectacular. - Solange Nicole

Pilots take no special joy in walking: pilots like flying. Pilots generally take pride in a good landing, not in getting out of the vehicle. - Neil Armstrong

When I have an idea, I turn down the flame, as if it were a little alcohol stove, as low as it will go. Then it explodes and that is my idea. - Ernest Hemingway