#1 humor site on the 'net

Something Witty

A brewhouse that hires thought-provoking employees

Something Witty thanks to Barry McCartney

Business was slow at the bar that day

QuotaBills
Wit is the epitaph of an emotion. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

An old man in a house is a good sign. - Benjamin Franklin

To be thought rich is as good as to be rich. - William M Thackeray

The ability to quote is a serviceable substitute for wit. - W Somerset Maugham

There can be no wise politics without thought beforehand. - Annie Besant

It matters not what you are thought to be, but what you are. - Publilius Syrus

The wit knows that his place is at the tail of a procession. - Mark Twain

As a child, the only clear thought I had was "Get candy." - Jerry Seinfeld

A happy thought is like a seed that sows positivity for all to reap. - Miriam Muhammad

I always thought a yard was three feet, then I started mowing the lawn. - C.E. Cowman

My wife's an earth sign. I'm a water sign. Together we make mud. - Henny Youngman

Be not careless in deeds, nor confused in words, nor rambling in thought. - Marcus A. Antoninus

Idealism is the despot of thought, just as politics is the despot of will. - Mikhail Bakunin

To achieve the marvelous, it is precisely the unthinkable that must be thought. - Tom Robbins

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words. - Robert Frost

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor. - Phyllis Diller

If you're not failing now and again, it's a sign you're playing it safe. - Woody Allen

When I was with Andy Warhol, I thought, 'God, his wig looks cheaper than mine!' - Dolly Parton

The first time I tried organic wheat bread, I thought I was chewing on roofing material. - Robin Williams

Discovery consists of seeing what everyone has seen and thinking what nobody has thought. - Albert Szent-Gyorgyi

I used to think that one of the great signs of security was the ability to just walk away. - Jack Nicholson

I've always thought that underpopulated countries in Africa are vastly under-polluted. - Lawrence Summers

They would not find me changed from him they knew - only more sure of all I thought was true. - Robert Frost

If a cluttered desk is the sign of a cluttered mind, what is the significance of a clean desk? - Laurence J. Peter

It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt. - Groucho Marx

Wit - the salt with which the American humorist spoils his intellectual cookery by leaving it out. - Ambrose Bierce

Yes, darling, let me cover your face with kisses.
On second thought, just let me cover your face. - Groucho Marx

I saw a sign: "Rest Area 25 Miles". That's pretty big. Some people must be really tired. - Steven Wright

A lot of people have gone further than they thought they could because someone else thought they could. - Zig Ziglar

Well over eighty per cent of the human race goes through life without having a single original thought. - H L Mencken

When we yield to discouragement it is usually because we give too much thought to the past and to the future. - St. Theresa of Lisieux

If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything very innovative. - Woody Allen

The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us. - Calvin

When you arrive where you thought you wanted to be, you'll just begin a new journey so enjoy each step along the way. - Wayne Dyer

Don't be afraid of being scared. To be afraid is a sign of common sense. Only complete idiots are not afraid of anything. - Carlos Ruiz Zafon

It takes but one positive thought when given a chance to survive and thrive to overpower an entire army of negative thoughts. - Robert H. Schuller

The greatest advantage I know of being thought a wit by the world is that it gives one the greater freedom of playing the fool. - Jonathan Swift

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks? - George Carlin

Heard about the young deaf boy who used sign language?
One day he told his mother a dirty joke and she washed his hands out with soap. - Red Skelton

NASA's robot Curiosity landed on Mars. Early pictures show no signs of ESPN or beer. This makes it very clear that men are not from Mars. - Unknown


Negotiations Texas Style

Boom Bag

2020 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars (3)

Grampoline

Scarf Fashion

Not Alone

Goodbye Tattoo

Family Exercise

Bulge That All Women Love

Hand Drawn

Learn To Fly

Rosella Ring

Orthodox Weapon

Antler Car

Wicked Stawm

Dementia Relations

Church Karma

The End in Canada

Sign Slippage

Obedient Wives

Symptoms of Laziness

Hog Hunter

Sea Horse

Impossible Object