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Something Witty

A brewhouse that hires thought-provoking employees

Something Witty thanks to Barry McCartney

Business was slow at the bar that day

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A witty saying proves nothing. - Voltaire

I thought Europe was a country. - Kellie Pickler

A pun is the lowest form of wit. - John Dennis

Heresy is another word for freedom of thought. - Graham Greene

Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in. - The Godfather Part III

You have a ready wit. Let me know when it's ready. - Henny Youngman

A chip on the shoulder is a sure sign of wood higher up. - Brigham Young

There can be no wise politics without thought beforehand. - Annie Besant

A wise man will live as much within his wit as his income. - Philip Dormer Stanhope

How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign? - George Carlin

Insurrection of thought always precedes insurrection of arms. - Wendell Phillips

He was like a cock who thought the sun had risen to hear him crow. - George Eliot

It is sheer laziness not compressing thought into a reasonable space. - Winston Churchill

Truth and right are above utility in all realms of thought and action. - Charles William Eliot

Irony: 1. Being witty at all costs; 2. A vegetarian catching swine flu. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Be not careless in deeds, nor confused in words, nor rambling in thought. - Marcus A. Antoninus

The sign said "eight items or less." So I changed my name to Les. - Steven Wright

Wit is a sword; it is meant to make people feel the point as well as see it. - G K Chesterton

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words. - Robert Frost

Perhaps in time the so-called Dark Ages will be thought of as including our own. - Georg C. Lichtenberg

I have always thought that foreign-policy idealism has to be tempered with realism. - William Hague

The only reason some people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory. - Paul Fix

It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it. - Aristotle

I thought I knew Texas pretty well, but I had no notion of its size until I campaigned it. - Ann Richards

Even fools are thought wise if they keep silent, and discerning if they hold their tongue. - Old Testament

A good marriage was one in which each person thought he or she was getting the better deal. - Anne Lamott

Tears shed for self are tears of weakness, but tears shed for others are a sign of strength. - Billy Graham

I saw a sign: "Rest Area 25 Miles". That's pretty big. Some people must be really tired. - Steven Wright

Well over eighty per cent of the human race goes through life without having a single original thought. - H L Mencken

Then she thought bitterly that it would be much easier to resist chocolate if her life were less stressful. - J K Rowling

Nothing is so self-defeating as a question that has not been thought through before it has been fully posed. - C S Lewis

When we yield to discouragement it is usually because we give too much thought to the past and to the future. - St. Theresa of Lisieux

When I was young I thought that money was the most important thing in life; now that I am old I know that it is. - Oscar Wilde

As I hurtled through space, one thought kept crossing my mind - every part of this rocket was supplied by the lowest bidder. - John Glenn

Don't be afraid of being scared. To be afraid is a sign of common sense. Only complete idiots are not afraid of anything. - Carlos Ruiz Zafon

Noise is the most impertinent of all forms of interruption. It is not only an interruption, but also a disruption of thought. - Arthur Schopenhauer

Is not your voice broken, your wind short, your chin double, your wit single, and every part about you blasted with antiquity? - William Shakespeare

The greatest sign of success for a teacher is to be able to say, "The children are now working as if I did not exist." - Maria Montessori

The task is not so much to see what no one has yet seen; but to think what nobody has yet thought about that which everybody sees. - Erwin Schrodinger

Abundance and vigor of automatic movements are desirable, and even a considerable degree of restlessness is a good sign in young children. - G Stanley Hall


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