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Something Witty

A brewhouse that hires thought-provoking employees

Something Witty thanks to Barry McCartney

Business was slow at the bar that day

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When the age is in, the wit is out. - William Shakespeare

Thought, unassisted by learning, is dangerous. - Confucius

You have a ready wit. Let me know when it's ready. - Henny Youngman

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. - Steven Wright

A chip on the shoulder is a sure sign of wood higher up. - Brigham Young

On second thought, I think I am more crazy than my goat. - Remedios Varo

We must interpret a bad temper as a sign of inferiority. - Alfred Adler

Our sweetest songs are those that tell of saddest thought. - Percy Bysshe Shelley

Panic at the thought of doing a thing is a challenge to do it. - Henry S. Haskins

Eternity is a terrible thought. I mean, where's it going to end? - Tom Stoppard

A happy thought is like a seed that sows positivity for all to reap. - Miriam Muhammad

I always thought a yard was three feet, then I started mowing the lawn. - C.E. Cowman

Irony: 1. Being witty at all costs; 2. A vegetarian catching swine flu. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Anyone who says you can't see a thought simply doesn't know art. - Wynetka Ann Reynolds

Too often we enjoy the comfort of opinion without the discomfort of thought. - John F Kennedy

If a man take no thought about what is distant, he will find sorrow near at hand. - Confucius

Love the animals: God has given them the rudiments of thought and joy untroubled. - Fyodor Dostoyevsky

To be satisfied with yourself is a sure sign that your forward motion has stopped. - Unknown

If I swim in the ocean, I have a shark thought. Not a bad one, but just a little one. - Tea Leoni

The first time I tried organic wheat bread, I thought I was chewing on roofing material. - Robin Williams

The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left. - Jerry M Wright

My father could be very witty, even if the humor was always on the darker side of irony. - Maurice Sendak

If a cluttered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind, of what, then, is an empty desk a sign? - Albert Einstein

Tears shed for self are tears of weakness, but tears shed for others are a sign of strength. - Billy Graham

They would not find me changed from him they knew - only more sure of all I thought was true. - Robert Frost

The cemeteries are filled with people who thought the world couldn't get along without them. - American Proverb

Eddie discovered one of his childhood's great truths. Grownups are the real monsters, he thought. - Stephen King

Take thought for the tomorrow, yes, careful thought and planning and preparation. But have no anxiety. - Dale Carnegie

If you realize that you aren't as wise today as you thought you were yesterday, you're wiser today. - Unknown

Nothing is so self-defeating as a question that has not been thought through before it has been fully posed. - C S Lewis

If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything very innovative. - Woody Allen

Do you think you're safe in a car with your seatbelt on? Dream on. My friend thought so. Now she's pregnant. - Anke Engelke

I could dance with you till the cows come home...
on second thought, I'll dance with the cows till you come home. - Groucho Marx

Everything that enlarges the sphere of human powers, that shows man he can do what he thought he could not do, is valuable. - Samuel Johnson

Noise is the most impertinent of all forms of interruption. It is not only an interruption, but also a disruption of thought. - Arthur Schopenhauer

Is not your voice broken, your wind short, your chin double, your wit single, and every part about you blasted with antiquity? - William Shakespeare

I saw that show, '50 Things To Do Before You Die.' I would have thought the obvious one was, 'Shout for help'. - Jim Carrey

I can remember a reporter asking me for a quote, and I didn't know what a quote was. I thought it was some kind of a soft drink. - Joe DiMaggio

If I had thought about it, I wouldn't have done the experiment. The literature was full of examples that said you can't do this. - Spencer Silver

I felt my lungs inflate with the onrush of scenery - air, mountains, trees, people. I thought, 'This is what it is to be happy.' - Sylvia Plath


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