Something Witty

Logic is the anatomy of thought. - Albert Einstein

My greatest thought is my accountability to God. - Daniel Webster

A public-opinion poll is no substitute for thought. - Warren Buffett

Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in. - The Godfather Part III

It was such a lovely day I thought it a pity to get up. - W Somerset Maugham

I didn't know he was dead; I thought he was British. - Unknown

If you wouldn't write it and sign it, don't say it. - Earl Wilson

The wit knows that his place is at the tail of a procession. - Mark Twain

Insurrection of thought always precedes insurrection of arms. - Wendell Phillips

Panic at the thought of doing a thing is a challenge to do it. - Henry S. Haskins

Old age comes on suddenly, and not gradually as is first thought. - Emily Dickinson

Just one positive thought in the morning can change your whole day. - Unknown

All my life I thought air was free... until I bought a bag of chips. - Unknown

If everybody thought before they spoke, the silence would be deafening. - Gerald Barzan

Irony: 1. Being witty at all costs; 2. A vegetarian catching swine flu. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A great many people think that polysyllables are a sign of intelligence. - Barbara Walters

We're all just ghosts on a wire seeking the prick of an electric thought. - Robert Fanney

The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on. - Robert Bloch

To achieve the marvelous, it is precisely the unthinkable that must be thought. - Tom Robbins

I got something important here to read and sign and I gotta consecrate on that. - Archie Bunker

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words. - Robert Frost

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor. - Phyllis Diller

When a man falls into his anecdotage, it is a sign for him to retire from the world. - Benjamin Disraeli

The only reason some people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory. - Paul Fix

Tears shed for another person are not a sign of weakness. They are a sign of a pure heart. - Jose N Harris

This I conceive to be the chemical function of humor: to change the character of our thought. - Lin Yutang

If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank. - Woody Allen

I saw a sign: "Rest Area 25 Miles". That's pretty big. Some people must be really tired. - Steven Wright

Her virtue was that she said what she thought, her vice that what she thought didn't amount to much. - Peter Ustinov

I never used to like babies. I'd always thought if a baby were more like a chimpanzee, I'd have one. - Candice Bergen

Life is one big road with lots of signs. So when you're riding through the ruts, don't complicate your mind. - Bob Marley

Strength doesn't come from what you can do. It comes from overcoming the things you once thought you couldn't. - Unknown

Who is apt, on occasion, to assign a multitude of reasons when one will do? This is a sure sign of weakness in argument. - Harriet Martineau

The diamond may adorn royalty, regardless of personal worth; but jewels of thought render even poverty illustrious and sublime. - Gems for the Fireside

The greatest advantage I know of being thought a wit by the world is that it gives one the greater freedom of playing the fool. - Jonathan Swift

The task is not so much to see what no one has yet seen; but to think what nobody has yet thought about that which everybody sees. - Erwin Schrodinger

I glanced out the window at the signs of spring. The sky was almost blue, the trees were almost budding, the sun was almost bright. - Millard Kaufman

He who cannot change the very fabric of his thought will never be able to change reality, and will never, therefore, make any progress. - Anwar Sadat

If I had thought about it, I wouldn't have done the experiment. The literature was full of examples that said you can't do this. - Spencer Silver

Heard about the young deaf boy who used sign language?
One day he told his mother a dirty joke and she washed his hands out with soap. - Red Skelton