#1 humor site on the 'net

Snake Bait

Just when you get your fish close to the boat...

Snake Bait thanks to Lois Turner

There's always a bigger fish to catch!

Snake Bait thanks to Lois Turner

The diamondback water snake (nerodia rhombifer), is a species of non-venomous natricine colubrid endemic to the central United States and northern Mexico
QuotaBills
Fishing Show: Reel-life TV. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

All men are equal before fish. - Herbert Hoover

Paraffins: Found on sides of fish - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Castanet: Primitive fishing method - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Use your enemy's hand to catch a snake. - Persian Proverb

A woman needs a man like a fish needs a net. - Cynthia Heimel

A cat bitten once by a snake dreads even rope. - Arab Proverb

A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle. - Irina Dunn

We've got a name for sushi in Georgia... bait. - Blake Clark

Electric Eel: Fish that thrives in strong currents - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I have laid aside business, and gone a'fishing. - Izaak Walton

It's hotter than a snake's ass in a wagon rut. - Robin Williams

Be patient and calm; no one can catch a fish with anger. - Herbert Hoover

Habitat: Place where a particular species of fish was last week - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

It's okay to eat fish because they don't have any feelings. - Kurt Cobain

For every man there exists a bait which he cannot resist swallowing. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

I don't really get romance. Bring me fish or moose, not flowers. - Eden Robinson

Govern a great nation as you would cook a small fish. Do not overdo it. - Lao Tzu

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it. - WC Fields

A dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim upstream. - WC Fields

Fishing is boring, unless you catch an actual fish, and then it is disgusting. - Dave Barry

Don't be a fish; be a frog. Swim in the water and jump when you hit ground. - Kim Young-ha

Let your hook be always cast. In the pool where you least expect it, will be fish. - Ovid

I went fishing with Rod Ewert. He was using a dotted line. He caught every other fish. - Steven Wright

Many men go fishing all of their lives without knowing that it is not fish they are after. - Henry David Thoreau

I like to keep a bottle of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy. - WC Fields

The dent in his car is hardly cold and he's coming over here to claim his pound of fish. - Archie Bunker

The only reason I ever played golf in the first place was so I could afford to hunt and fish. - Sam Snead

The opposite for courage is not cowardice, it is conformity. Even a dead fish can go with the flow. - Jim Hightower

Of all the useless things a person can do, limerick writing is right up there with golf and fishing. - Garrison Keillor

I refuse to believe that trading recipes is silly. Tuna-fish casserole is at least as real as corporate stock. - Barbara Harrison

Fisherman: A sportsman, who sometimes catches a big fish by patience, sometimes by luck, but most often by the tale - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. - George Carlin

Don't tell fish stories where the people know you; but particularly, don't tell them where they know the fish. - Mark Twain

Fishing Trip: Journey undertaken by one or more anglers to a place where no one can remember when it has rained so much - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Somebody just back of you while you are fishing is as bad as someone looking over your shoulder while you write a letter to your girl. - Ernest Hemingway

Only when the last tree has withered, and the last fish caught, and the last river been poisoned, will we realize we cannot eat money. - Cree Proverb

Bamboo: Eye-pleasing, but extremely expensive and difficult-to-maintain type of rod, used primarily by anglers who fish for compliments. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

What's the two things they tell you are healthiest to eat? Chicken and fish. You know what you should do? Combine them, eat a penguin. - Dave Attell

I'll paddle board, swim in the ocean, roll in the sand, soak up the sun, eat good food, be with friends and family and go fishing with my dad. - Behati Prinsloo


Nature Calls

You're Home Early

New Nail Gun

Long Noodles

EMS Upgrade

No Pot Of Gold

Graduation Swag

Monkeypox

Pre-Dinner Photography

Curses, Foiled Again

Ant Virus

Sidewalk Malt Melt

Bird's Eye View

Sea Girl

Lifeguard Distancing

Merry Go Motorbike

Build Back Better - Season 2

Build Back Better - Season 1

Zamboni Date

Bagpipe Runners

9 Months On The Inside

Noah Called

The Mighty Stegosaurus

Get A Dog They Said