#1 humor site on the 'net

Science Fiction Recipes

Recipes that come to a sad conclusion

Science Fiction Recipes thanks to Steve Ingram

Diet plans that almost work

QuotaBills
Fat: Energy gone to waist - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Laughter is by definition healthy. - Doris Lessing

Americans like fat books and thin women. - Russell Baker

A balanced diet is chocolate in both hands. - Unknown

You know why fish are so thin? They eat fish. - Jerry Seinfeld

Tears at times have all the weight of speech. - Ovid

It's simple. If it jiggles, it's fat. - Arnold Schwarzenegger

Have great, secret, big, fat hopes for yourself. - Gloria Vanderbilt

We don't see many fat men walking on stilts. - Bud Miller

A fit, healthy body - that is the best fashion statement. - Jess C. Scott

He who enjoys good health is rich, though he knows it not. - Italian Proverb

If you ignore your health for long enough, it'll go away. - Unknown

Healthy citizens are the greatest asset any country can have. - Winston Churchill

If you want to look young and thin, hang around old fat people. - Jim Eason

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. - Mark Twain

Whatsoever was the father of a disease, an ill diet was the mother. - George Herbert

There is no curing a sick man who believes himself to be in health. - Henri Amiel

One of the major goals of health insurance reform is to bring down the cost. - Valerie Jarrett

Faith and knowledge lean largely upon each other in the practice of medicine. - Peter Mere Latham

The majority of my diet is made up of the foods that my kid didn't finish. - Carrie Underwood

The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman. - Jonathan Swift

Health care's not about insurance! Health care's about getting treatment. - P.J. O'Rourke

We don't get fat because we overeat; we overeat because we're getting fat. - Gary Taubes

Logic is the hygiene the mathematician practices to keep his ideas healthy and strong. - Hermann Weyl

The shovels haven't arrived, and until they do, you'll have to lean on each other. - Unknown

My act is sort of improvisational. I have a skeleton in my head, but no fat or skin on it. - Paula Poundstone

On behalf of every man looking out for every girl, you are the God and weight of her world. - John Mayer

I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I lost two weeks. - Joe E Lewis

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat. - Alex Levine

Give a man health and a course to steer, and he'll never stop to trouble about whether he's happy or not. - George Bernard Shaw

I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis

Moderation. Small helpings. Sample a little bit of everything. These are the secrets of happiness and good health. - Julia Child

Health is the state about which medicine has nothing to say; sanctity is the state about which theology has nothing to say. - W H Auden

It is reasonable to expect the doctor to recognize that science may not have all the answers to problems of health and healing. - Norman Cousins

A party of order or stability, and a party of progress or reform, are both necessary elements of a healthy state of political life. - John Stuart Mill

I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright

Maintaining healthy forests is essential to those who make a living from the land and for those of us who use them for recreational purposes. - Cathy M. Rodgers

Health is the finest possession. Contentment is the ultimate wealth. Trustworthy people are the best relatives. Unbinding is the supreme ease. - Buddha

Thank you... fat dude with giant headphones on the subway, for looking like what would've happened if Jabba the Hutt mated with Princess Leia. - Jimmy Fallon

The best way to lose weight is to close your mouth - something very difficult for a politician. Or watch your food - just watch it, don't eat it. - Edward I Kock


Tartan Treasures

Dog Download

Your First Motorcycle

Summer Snack

Box Car

Frog Food

The Good Old Days

Towel Dog

Night Shift for a Computer Geek

Battery Update

Russian Beach

How To Improve New Orleans

Drone Crossing

Air Guitar

Fly Art

Texas Rain Gauge

Camel Hatchback

Teahouse of the August Moon

Bent Baby

Deluxembourg

Lost Head

Moving Sofa

Florida Golf Hazard

Billionaire Thoughts