#1 humor site on the 'net

Science Fiction Recipes

Recipes that come to a sad conclusion

Science Fiction Recipes thanks to Steve Ingram

Diet plans that almost work

QuotaBills
I'm a fat anorexic. - Kiri Te Kanawa

Laughter is by definition healthy. - Doris Lessing

You can never be too rich or too thin. - Wallis W Simpson

Recipe for a happy husband: Fake and Bake. - Unknown

Happiness is good health and a bad memory. - Ingrid Bergman

My diet is like Atkins, but with the carbs. - BJ Penn

Smoking cures weight problems... eventually. - Steven Wright

Have a healthy disregard for the impossible. - Larry Page

I'm not gaining weight. I'm living large. - Unknown

Diets are for those who are thick and tired of it. - Unknown

Information is pretty thin stuff unless mixed with experience. - Clarence Day

Our health is a voyage and every illness is an adventure story. - Margiad Evans

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. - Mark Twain

Where there is laughter there is always more health than sickness. - Phyllis Bottome

Being in a good frame of mind helps one keep in the picture of health. - Unknown

'Escargot' is French for 'fat crawling bag of phlegm'. - Dave Barry

People with healthy self-esteem do not need to create pretend identities. - Unknown

When healthy competition prevails - you come out to play and you play to win. - Lorii Myers

I gotta lose weight, Edith. I hope you remembered my diuretic cottage cheese. - Archie Bunker

You can't lose weight by talking about it. You have to keep your mouth shut. - Old Farmer's Almanac

People don't trust private health insurance companies for all the right reasons. - Bernie Sanders

The chief excitement in a woman's life is spotting women who are fatter than she is. - Helen Rowland

The shovels haven't arrived, and until they do, you'll have to lean on each other. - Unknown

My act is sort of improvisational. I have a skeleton in my head, but no fat or skin on it. - Paula Poundstone

Life, if you're fat, is a minefield - you have to pick your way, otherwise you blow up. - Miriam Margolyes

We don't come to Canada for our health. We can think of other ways of enjoying ourselves. - Prince Philip

The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day you're off it. - Jackie Gleason

He hath eaten me out of house and home; he hath put all my substance into that fat belly of his. - William Shakespeare

The key to a long and healthy marriage is that, honestly, there's nothing worth fighting about. - Jay Leno

If fat people just gave skinny people more food, we could solve obesity and hunger at the same time. - Ashton Kutcher

Cigarette sales would drop to zero overnight if the warning said, "Cigarettes contain fat." - Dave Barry

Nobody can fail to lose weight in the jungle, unless they've got a secret stash of pork pies somewhere. - Colin Baker

Inside me there's a thin person struggling to get out, but I can usually sedate him with four or five cupcakes. - Bob Thaves

The first requisite of a good citizen in this republic of ours is that he shall be able and willing to pull his weight. - Theodore Roosevelt

A dark-chocolate truffle melts in my mouth, and I forget about everything else... even the fact that I'm on a diet. - Barbara Brooke

I love lean meats like chicken, turkey. I'm obsessed with sushi and fish in general. I eat a lot of veggies and hummus. - Shawn Johnson

You end up as you deserve. In old age you must put up with the face, the friends, the health, and the children you have earned. - Fay Weldon

I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and I think, "Well, that's not going to happen." - Unknown

The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd druther not. - Mark Twain

Maintaining healthy forests is essential to those who make a living from the land and for those of us who use them for recreational purposes. - Cathy M. Rodgers


Sea Sand Art

Grief Bacon

Respect For Grapes

Up Purriscope

Fresh Chicken

Ice Climbing Building

2020 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars (3)

Does Your Hedgehog Bite?

Lazy Line Painters

Vegan Brownies

From Start To Finish

Milkshake Diet

Hand Speech

Software Cake

Bland Entrance

Preikestolen Pulpit Rock

Redneck Firemen

Side Rail

Icy Grip Of Winter

Brace For The Resolutioners

Shining Armor Knight

Icicle Drinks

Incontinent Pool

Handstand Snowman