Russian Graduate

See if he passed the literaracy test. - Archie Bunker

Education is a system of imposed ignorance. - Noam Chomsky

Electoral College: Institute of higher yearning - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Pedestrian: a man whose son is home from college. - Unknown

Never let schooling interfere with your education. - Grant Allen

Education consists mainly of what we have unlearned. - Mark Twain

You can drag my body to school but my spirit refuses to go. - Bill Watterson

What sculpture is to a block of marble, education is to the soul. - Joseph Addison

The true test of leadership is how well you function in a crisis. - Brian Tracy

Diploma: 1. Da man dat fixes your pipes; 2. A job-hunting license. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Men are born ignorant, not stupid. They are made stupid by education. - Bertrand Russell

Instruction ends in the schoolroom, but education ends only with life. - Frederick M Robertson

A thorough knowledge of the Bible is worth more than a college education. - Theodore Roosevelt

Society produces rogues and education makes one rogue cleverer than another. - Oscar Wilde

The degree of civilization in a society is revealed by entering its prisons. - Fyodor Dostoyevsky

One of the truest tests of integrity is its blunt refusal to be compromised. - Chinua Achebe

An inventor is simply a fellow who doesn't take his education too seriously. - Charles F. Kettering

Descartes commanded the future from his study more than Napoleon from the throne. - Oliver Holmes

Hard men present hard choices - none more so than Vladimir Putin, the President of Russia. - Hillary Clinton

The things taught in colleges and schools are not an education, but the means of education. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy. - Woody Allen

If everybody in the world dropped out of school, we would have a much more intelligent society. - Jaden Smith

Everyone has a right to a university degree in America, even if it's in Hamburger Technology. - Clive James

It is a fine thing to have ability, but the ability to discover ability in others is the true test. - Elbert Hubbard

I learned law so well, the day I graduated I used the college, won the case, and got my tuition back. - Fred Allen

Education is the ability to listen to almost anything without losing your temper or your self-confidence. - Robert Frost

Even our hardest prayers are easy for the Omnipotent One to answer because there is no degree of difficulty. - Mark Batterson

In school, every period ends with a bell. Every sentence ends with a period. Every crime ends with a sentence. - Steven Wright

People have to see that there is a high degree of complexity about belonging to a gang. It's a symptom, not a problem. - Greg Boyle

Mathematics is indeed dangerous in that it absorbs students to such a degree that it dulls their senses to everything else. - Prinz zu Hohlenlohe-Ingelfingen Kraft

Higher education is booming in the United Sates; the Gross National Mind is mounting along with the Gross National Product. - Malcolm Muggeridge

You know there is a problem with the education system when you realize that out of the three R's, only one begins with an R. - Dennis Miller

Homosexuality in Russia is a crime and the punishment is seven years in prison, locked up with the other men. There is a three year waiting list. - Yakov Smirnoff

In Russia we only had two TV channels. Channel One was propaganda. Channel Two consisted of a KGB officer telling you: Turn back at once to Channel One. - Yakov Smirnoff

Blind faith, no matter how passionately expressed, will not suffice. Science for its part will test relentlessly every assumption about the human condition. - E.O. Wilson

I was recently on a tour of Latin America, and the only regret I have was that I didn't study Latin harder in school so I could converse with those people. - Dan Quayle

If you want to surf, move to Hawaii. If you like to shop, move to New York. If you like acting and Hollywood, move to California. But if you like college football, move to Texas. - Ricky Williams

A motorcycle functions entirely in accordance with the laws of reason, and a study of the art of motorcycle maintenance is really a miniature study of the art of rationality itself. - Robert M. Pirsig

President Obama smoked so much pot in college he never learned to spell. Which is why he's confusing the word "ruining" the country with "running" the country. - Kilburn Hall

When Satan tempts a person, it is a solicitation to disobedience. When acted upon, it brings harm. When God tests a person, it is a solicitation to obedience. When acted upon, it brings blessings. - Tony Cooke