Russian Car Pool

Chop your own path. Get off the car track. - A.Y. Jackson

I can't win. Love is Russian Roulette for me. - Freddie Mercury

I'd rather write about polar bears than people. - Mary Oliver

Feminism is a wonderful idea until the car goes wrong. - Nicola Zweig

All the real things in Russia are done in the villages. - Ernest Poole

We had a very successful trip to Russia. We made it back. - Bob Hope

Auto racing began 5 minutes after the second car was built. - Henry Ford

There is no income tax in Russia. But there's no income. - Will Rogers

The measure of a man is the way he bears up under misfortune. - Plutarch

In Russia, if a male athlete loses he becomes a female athlete. - Yakov Smirnoff

To attract men, I wear a perfume called "New Car Interior". - Rita Rudner

You wanna talk that Russian talk, take yourself back over to the USSO. - Archie Bunker

A private railroad car is not an acquired taste. One takes to it immediately. - Eleanor R. Belmont

Bulls and bears aren't responsible for as many stock losses as bum steers. - Olin Miller

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy

It's not the bulls or the bears you need to avoid, it's the bum steers. - Chuck Hillis

If you don't know how great this country is, I know someone who does; Russia. - Robert Frost

I've had a lot of luck. If I didn't I'd be washing bottles in Russia. - Marat Safin

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Except for bears. Bears will kill you. - Unknown

Wealthy people miss one of life's greatest thrills: making the last car payment. - Unknown

A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days. - Tim Allen

The Iron Curtain may be a thing of the past, but Mother Russia is as mysterious as ever. - Robert Gottlieb

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke

Many agree that the worst thing that could ever happen is if Russia and China get closer. - Donald Trump

Hard men present hard choices - none more so than Vladimir Putin, the President of Russia. - Hillary Clinton

Yesterday I parked my car in a tow-away zone... when I came back the entire area was missing. - Steven Wright

The lead car is absolutely, truly unique, except for the one behind it which is exactly identical. - Murray Walker

The ideal man bears the accidents of life with dignity and grace, making the best of circumstances. - Aristotle

I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving. - Steven Wright

My favorite animal is a polar bear. They're going extinct, and I really don't want that to happen. - Quvenzhane Wallis

Life's golden age is when the children are too old to need babysitters and too young to borrow the family car. - Unknown

I do get scared of the dentist, so a drive-through dentist might make me feel more at home. If I got to stay in my car. - Jessica Pare

Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car. - Garrison Keillor

When we save the rain forest, the polar bear, and Al Gore, we should party so hard that Canada calls the cops on us for noise. - Paula Poundstone

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car. - Unknown

It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. - Ben Bergor

I have an answering machine in my car. It says, "I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out." - Steven Wright

A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. - Theodore Roosevelt

A car hits a Jewish man. The paramedic rushes over and says, "Are you comfortable?" The guy says, "I make a good living." - Henny Youngman

Homosexuality in Russia is a crime and the punishment is seven years in prison, locked up with the other men. There is a three year waiting list. - Yakov Smirnoff