#1 humor site on the 'net

Russian Car Pool

I bear-ly made it in to work today!

Russian Car Pool thanks to Roy Bishop

Leaving food in cars is not very safe

QuotaBills
Support the right to arm bears. - Unknown

My parents put a live teddy bear in my crib. - Woody Allen

All the real things in Russia are done in the villages. - Ernest Poole

Russia is a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma. - Winston Churchill

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. - Erma Bombeck

I had to stop driving my car for a while - the tires got dizzy. - Steven Wright

In Russia, if a male athlete loses he becomes a female athlete. - Yakov Smirnoff

Only a biker knows why a dog sticks his head out of a car window. - Unknown

Living with a conscience is like driving a car with the brakes on. - Budd Schulberg

The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. - Dudley Moore

To attract men, I wear a perfume called "New Car Interior". - Rita Rudner

You wanna talk that Russian talk, take yourself back over to the USSO. - Archie Bunker

If women can be railroad workers in Russia, why can't they fly in space? - Valentina Tereshkova

A private railroad car is not an acquired taste. One takes to it immediately. - Eleanor R. Belmont

Bulls and bears aren't responsible for as many stock losses as bum steers. - Olin Miller

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy

It's not the bulls or the bears you need to avoid, it's the bum steers. - Chuck Hillis

I've had a lot of luck. If I didn't I'd be washing bottles in Russia. - Marat Safin

The lead car is absolutely unique, except for the one behind it which is identical. - Murray Walker

Wealthy people miss one of life's greatest thrills: making the last car payment. - Unknown

A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days. - Tim Allen

The Iron Curtain may be a thing of the past, but Mother Russia is as mysterious as ever. - Robert Gottlieb

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke

Many agree that the worst thing that could ever happen is if Russia and China get closer. - Donald Trump

Hard men present hard choices - none more so than Vladimir Putin, the President of Russia. - Hillary Clinton

The dent in his car is hardly cold and he's coming over here to claim his pound of fish. - Archie Bunker

They say you only go around once, but with a muscle car you can go around two or three times. - Tim Allen

Yesterday I parked my car in a tow-away zone... when I came back the entire area was missing. - Steven Wright

A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after. - Peter DeVries

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. - Erma Bombeck

I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving. - Steven Wright

I took a speed reading course and read "War and Peace" in twenty minutes. It involves Russia. - Woody Allen

My favorite animal is a polar bear. They're going extinct, and I really don't want that to happen. - Quvenzhane Wallis

For all of the fights I have had in my life, both on and off the ice, I have only been in the back of a cop car once. - Tie Domi

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

When we save the rain forest, the polar bear, and Al Gore, we should party so hard that Canada calls the cops on us for noise. - Paula Poundstone

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car. - Unknown

It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. - Ben Bergor

Homosexuality in Russia is a crime and the punishment is seven years in prison, locked up with the other men. There is a three year waiting list. - Yakov Smirnoff

When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving. - Steven Wright


Laser Cats

At My Age I Need Glasses

Yoga Wine

Slip Sliding Away

Wi-Fi Free Restaurant

Buffalo Construction Plans

For Best Results

Ruling On Criticism

Bacon Pancakes

Very Left Turn Driver

Cold Sermon

Store Tested Coffee

2020 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars (3)

End Of The Line

Cow Vacation

Wheelchair Warriors

Women's Rights

Finger's House

Deplorter

Squeegee Clothing

Child's Decision Making Tree

Ambition

Cold Books

Ikea Blueprint