Russian Car Pool

Khaki: A thing for starting a car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Chop your own path. Get off the car track. - A.Y. Jackson

My parents put a live teddy bear in my crib. - Woody Allen

So we get the chinks we will bear the stinks. - English Proverb

I can't win. Love is Russian Roulette for me. - Freddie Mercury

Russia is a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma. - Winston Churchill

The measure of a man is the way he bears up under misfortune. - Plutarch

I had to stop driving my car for a while - the tires got dizzy. - Steven Wright

In Russia, if a male athlete loses he becomes a female athlete. - Yakov Smirnoff

To attract men, I wear a perfume called "New Car Interior". - Rita Rudner

You wanna talk that Russian talk, take yourself back over to the USSO. - Archie Bunker

If women can be railroad workers in Russia, why can't they fly in space? - Valentina Tereshkova

It is sometimes as dangerous to be run into by a microbe as by a trolley car. - J.J. Walsh

Bulls and bears aren't responsible for as many stock losses as bum steers. - Olin Miller

If you don't know how great this country is, I know someone who does; Russia. - Robert Frost

Human beings can't bear silence. It would mean that they would bear themselves. - Pascal Mercier

Wealthy people miss one of life's greatest thrills: making the last car payment. - Unknown

The chief aim of wisdom is to enable one to bear with the stupidity of the ignorant. - Winston Churchill

Sometimes I question my sanity, but the unicorn and gummy bears told me I'm fine! - Muppets

I have nothing but troubles with my car. Every Sunday I take my family out for a push. - Rodney Dangerfield

Forgive, forget. Bear with the faults of others as you would have them bear with yours. - Phillips Brooks

They say you only go around once, but with a muscle car you can go around two or three times. - Tim Allen

Yesterday I parked my car in a tow-away zone... when I came back the entire area was missing. - Steven Wright

A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after. - Peter DeVries

Mental pain is less dramatic than physical pain, but it is more common and also more hard to bear. - C S Lewis

I took a speed reading course and read "War and Peace" in twenty minutes. It involves Russia. - Woody Allen

I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes. - Homer Simpson

Many commit the same crime with very different results. One bears a cross for his crime, the other a crown. - Juvenal

When walking, you see things that you miss in a motor car or on the train. You give your mind space to ponder. - Tom Hodgkinson

The vine bears three kinds of grapes: the first of pleasure, the second of intoxication, the third of disgust. - Diogenes

Do you think you're safe in a car with your seatbelt on? Dream on. My friend thought so. Now she's pregnant. - Anke Engelke

Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car. - Garrison Keillor

Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down. - George Carlin

A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. - Theodore Roosevelt

A car hits a Jewish man. The paramedic rushes over and says, "Are you comfortable?" The guy says, "I make a good living." - Henny Youngman

Join voices, all ye living souls: ye birds,
That singing up to heaven-gate ascend,
Bear on your wings and in your notes his praise. - John Milton

I adore art. When I am alone with my notes, my heart pounds and the tears stream from my eyes, and my emotion and my joys are too much to bear. - Guiseppe Verdi

Homosexuality in Russia is a crime and the punishment is seven years in prison, locked up with the other men. There is a three year waiting list. - Yakov Smirnoff

Being a dad isn't just about eating a huge bag of gummy bears as your wife gives birth. It means being comfortable with the word 'hero.' - Ryan Reynolds

When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving. - Steven Wright