Russian Car Pool

Support the right to arm bears. - Unknown

My parents put a live teddy bear in my crib. - Woody Allen

All the real things in Russia are done in the villages. - Ernest Poole

Russia is a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma. - Winston Churchill

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. - Erma Bombeck

I had to stop driving my car for a while - the tires got dizzy. - Steven Wright

In Russia, if a male athlete loses he becomes a female athlete. - Yakov Smirnoff

Only a biker knows why a dog sticks his head out of a car window. - Unknown

Living with a conscience is like driving a car with the brakes on. - Budd Schulberg

The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. - Dudley Moore

To attract men, I wear a perfume called "New Car Interior". - Rita Rudner

You wanna talk that Russian talk, take yourself back over to the USSO. - Archie Bunker

If women can be railroad workers in Russia, why can't they fly in space? - Valentina Tereshkova

A private railroad car is not an acquired taste. One takes to it immediately. - Eleanor R. Belmont

Bulls and bears aren't responsible for as many stock losses as bum steers. - Olin Miller

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy

It's not the bulls or the bears you need to avoid, it's the bum steers. - Chuck Hillis

I've had a lot of luck. If I didn't I'd be washing bottles in Russia. - Marat Safin

The lead car is absolutely unique, except for the one behind it which is identical. - Murray Walker

Wealthy people miss one of life's greatest thrills: making the last car payment. - Unknown

A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days. - Tim Allen

The Iron Curtain may be a thing of the past, but Mother Russia is as mysterious as ever. - Robert Gottlieb

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke

Many agree that the worst thing that could ever happen is if Russia and China get closer. - Donald Trump

Hard men present hard choices - none more so than Vladimir Putin, the President of Russia. - Hillary Clinton

The dent in his car is hardly cold and he's coming over here to claim his pound of fish. - Archie Bunker

They say you only go around once, but with a muscle car you can go around two or three times. - Tim Allen

Yesterday I parked my car in a tow-away zone... when I came back the entire area was missing. - Steven Wright

A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after. - Peter DeVries

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. - Erma Bombeck

I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving. - Steven Wright

I took a speed reading course and read "War and Peace" in twenty minutes. It involves Russia. - Woody Allen

My favorite animal is a polar bear. They're going extinct, and I really don't want that to happen. - Quvenzhane Wallis

For all of the fights I have had in my life, both on and off the ice, I have only been in the back of a cop car once. - Tie Domi

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

When we save the rain forest, the polar bear, and Al Gore, we should party so hard that Canada calls the cops on us for noise. - Paula Poundstone

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car. - Unknown

It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. - Ben Bergor

Homosexuality in Russia is a crime and the punishment is seven years in prison, locked up with the other men. There is a three year waiting list. - Yakov Smirnoff

When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving. - Steven Wright