Rethink Your Drink

Crowbar: Where birds can get a drink. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Come quickly, I am drinking the stars. - Dom Perignon

My drinking team has a sailing problem. - Unknown

Water is the only drink for a wise man. - Henry David Thoreau

I drink to make other people interesting. - Groucho Marx

Sometimes too much drink is barely enough. - Mark Twain

My diet is like Atkins, but with the carbs. - BJ Penn

I seldom took a drink on the set before 9 a.m. - WC Fields

Zigzag: The shortest distance between two drinks - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A spoon full of insulin helps the sugar go down. - Unknown

Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow you may diet. - Unknown

A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat. - Erma Bombeck

Envy and greed starve on a healthy diet of thanksgiving. - Billy Graham

If God forbade drinking, would He have made wine so good? - Cardinal Richelieu

Drinking rum before noon makes you a pirate, not an alcoholic. - Unknown

Of all vices, drinking is the most incompatible with greatness. - Sir Walter Scott

The first couple of days on the detox diet aren't pleasant. - Carol Vorderman

I certainly do not drink all the time. I have to sleep you know. - WC Fields

Live in the sunshine
Swim in the sea
Drink the wild air - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Nothing lasts forever, so live it up, drink it down, laugh it off. - Unknown

Water Hazard: Giving the kids too much to drink before a road trip - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Your diet is a bank account. Good food choices are good investments. - Bethenny Frankel

In heaven there is no beer...
That's why we drink ours here. - Unknown

A gourmet who thinks of calories is like a tart who looks at her watch. - James Beard

I've been on a diet for two weeks and all I've lost is two weeks. - Totie Fields

My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror. - Rodney Dangerfield

A man hath no better thing under the sun than to eat, drink, and be merry. - Ecclesiastes 8:15

Drinking gives one a very clear sense of who's to blame for everything. - Unknown

No disease that can be treated by diet should be treated by any other means. - Maimonides

Wouldn't exercise be more fun if calories screamed while you burned them? - Bill Murray

The majority of my diet is made up of the foods that my kid didn't finish. - Carrie Underwood

I am on a ketos diet so I avoid sugar, dairy products, wheat, grain or pulses. - Puneet Issar

I saw a notice which said "Drink Canada Dry" and I've just started. - Brendan Behan

The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman. - Jonathan Swift

One reason I don't drink is that I want to know when I am having a good time. - Nancy Astor

He drained the cup of God's wrath bone dry, leaving not a drop for us to drink. - Richard A Bodey

Every single diet I ever fell off of was because of potatoes and gravy of some sort. - Dolly Parton

I don't smoke dope, I don't drink bourbon. All I want to do is shake my turban. - Peter Singh

An old timer is one who remembers when we counted our blessings instead of our calories. - Unknown

Past is dead. Future is uncertain. Present is all you have, so eat, drink and live merry. - Albert Einstein

I love to sing, and I love to drink scotch. Most people would rather hear me drink scotch. - George Burns

I drink maple syrup. Then I'm hyper so I just run around like crazy and work it all off. - Rachel McAdams

Bad Luck: To have thirteen people seated at the table when you’re paying for the drinks - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

My grandfather is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle. - Henny Youngman

Don't say you can't swear off drinking; it's easy. I've done it a thousand times. - WC Fields

I like cookies, any cookie you put in front of me - animal cookies, sugar cookies, anything crunchy. - Maria Shriver

When we traded the buffalo for a mare, we had no milk to drink, and we still had droppings to clean up. - Punjab Proverb

The drink and I have been friends for so long, it would be a pity for me to leave without one last kiss. - Turlough O'Carolan

When the clergyman's daughter
Drinks nothing but water
She's certain to finish on gin. - Rudyard Kipling

My wife is on a diet. Coconuts and bananas. She hasn't lost any weight, but she can sure climb a tree. - Henny Youngman

While we drink, and call for garlands, for perfumes and for maidens, old age is creeping on us unperceived. - Juvenal

Freedom is like drink. If you take any at all, you might as well take enough to make you happy for a while. - Finley P Dunne

I'm a big fan of the Irish accent. After a couple of drinks, I start to get a bit of an Irish lilt, too. - Emily Ratajkowski

Bank of America is to sweetheart loans and Democratic Party payoffs as Paula Deen is to sugar and bacon grease. - Michelle Malkin

If you resolve to give up smoking, drinking and loving, you don't actually live longer; it just seems longer. - Clement Freud

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. - George Carlin

The biggest seller is cookbooks and the second is diet books - how not to eat what you've just learned now to cook. - Andy Rooney

If you maintain a healthy diet, or at least are smart about your food choices, you'll still see the pounds come off. - Misty May-Treanor

It was so quiet, a reservation kind of quiet, where you can hear somebody drinking whiskey on the rocks three miles away. - Sherman Alexie

Calories: 1. Weight lifters; 2. Tiny creatures that live in your closet and sew your clothes a little bit tighter every night. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I can remember a reporter asking me for a quote, and I didn't know what a quote was. I thought it was some kind of a soft drink. - Joe DiMaggio

The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd druther not. - Mark Twain

A woman should never be seen eating or drinking, unless it be lobster salad and Champagne, the only true feminine and becoming viands. - George G. Byron

Drink and dance and laugh and lie,
Love, the reeling midnight through,
For tomorrow we shall die!
(But, alas, we never do.) - Dorothy Parker

A beautiful woman moved in next door. So I went over and returned a cup of sugar. "You didn't borrow this." "I will." - Steven Wright

My Doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror. I drink too much. Way too much. My doctor drew blood. He ran a tab. - Rodney Dangerfield

When I get through tearing a lobster apart, or one of those tender West Coast octopuses, I feel like I had a drink from the fountain of youth. - Joseph Mitchell

Advice from a tree:
- Stand tall and proud
- Go out on a limb
- Remember your roots
- Drink plenty of water
- Enjoy the view - Unknown

Our food pyramid, the kind of diet that is constantly promoted, is completely warped. It's not based around anything to do with healing your body. - Jessica Origliasso

Car Pool: Complicated system of transportation where Mom always winds up going the furthest with the biggest bunch of kids who have had the most sugar - Daffynitions joe-ks.com