Rethink Your Drink

Drink to me. - Pablo Picasso

He was gotten in drink. - William Shakespeare

I drink therefore I am. - WC Fields

The piano has been drinking, not me. - Tom Waits

Work is the curse of the drinking class. - Oscar Wilde

Life is too short to drink the house wine. - Helen Thomas

A balanced diet is chocolate in both hands. - Unknown

My diet is like Atkins, but with the carbs. - BJ Penn

Sometimes too much to drink is barely enough. - Mark Twain

I drink to make other people more interesting. - Ernest Hemingway

I'd stop drinking but I'm not a quitter. - Unknown

Teaching has ruined more American novelists than drink. - Gore Vidal

The Irish ignore anything they can't drink or punch. - James Boswell

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. - Henny Youngman

I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already. - Tommy Cooper

Sleep... the most beautiful experience in life - except drink. - WC Fields

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink. - English Proverb

Drink because you are happy, but never because you are miserable. - G K Chesterton

You can't drink all day if you don't start in the morning. - Founder's Breakfast Stout

I don't diet, I just don't eat as much as I'd like to. - Linda Evangelista

Jews don't drink much because it interferes with their suffering. - Milton Berle

In heaven there is no beer...
That's why we drink ours here. - Unknown

In Heaven, chocolate has no calories and is served as the main course. - Unknown

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it. - WC Fields

I've been on a diet for two weeks and all I've lost is two weeks. - Totie Fields

A man hath no better thing under the sun than to eat, drink, and be merry. - Ecclesiastes 8:15

I drink too much. Last time I gave a urine sample there was an olive in it. - Rodney Dangerfield

I never drink coffee at lunch - I find it keeps me awake for the afternoon. - Ronald Reagan

Drinking gives one a very clear sense of who's to blame for everything. - Unknown

Watermelon - it's a good fruit. You eat, you drink, you wash your face. - Enrico Caruso

Resentment is like drinking poison and then hoping it will kill your enemies. - Nelson Mandela

Everybody should believe in something; I believe I'll have another drink. - Unknown

A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her. - WC Fields

Man may be the captain of his fate, but is also the victim of his blood sugar. - Wilfrid G. Oakley

I saw a notice which said "Drink Canada Dry" and I've just started. - Brendan Behan

I only take a drink on two occasions - when I'm thirsty and when I'm not. - Brendan Behan

People who drink to drown their sorrow should be told that sorrow knows how to swim. - Ann Landers

Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread and pumpkin pie. - Jim Davis

I'm a Catholic and I can't commit suicide, but I plan to drink myself to death. - Jack Kerouac

I love to sing, and I love to drink scotch. Most people would rather hear me drink scotch. - George Burns

I exercise extreme self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast. - WC Fields

Even though a number of people have tried, no one has yet found a way to drink for a living. - Jean Kerr

I drink maple syrup. Then I'm hyper so I just run around like crazy and work it all off. - Rachel McAdams

A little girl is sugar and spice and everything nice - especially when she's taking a nap. - Unknown

Like a camel, I can go without a drink for seven days - and have on several horrible occasions. - Herb Caen

Don't say you can't swear off drinking; it's easy. I've done it a thousand times. - WC Fields

I'm on a strict liquid diet: Mimosas for breakfast, Margaritas for lunch, Martinis for dinner. - Unknown

Flour and butter, cream and sugar, words and images - all the ingredients for a rich, tasty story. - Rona Simmons

During World War II children were not allowed to trick or treat because there was a sugar shortage. - Linda Bozzo

There's no point in wasting calories on cheap chocolate, always opt for the darkest and richest. - Nanci Rathbun

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass! - Rodney Dangerfield

I blend my green drink every morning. I also fix my son a full-on American breakfast with bacon and toast. - Liz Phair

While we drink, and call for garlands, for perfumes and for maidens, old age is creeping on us unperceived. - Juvenal

Freedom is like drink. If you take any at all, you might as well take enough to make you happy for a while. - Finley P Dunne

I'd hate to be an alcoholic with Alzheimer's. Imagine needing a drink and forgetting where you put it. - George Carlin

Bank of America is to sweetheart loans and Democratic Party payoffs as Paula Deen is to sugar and bacon grease. - Michelle Malkin

If you resolve to give up smoking, drinking and loving, you don't actually live longer; it just seems longer. - Clement Freud

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields

Cacao has great nutritional value, a lot of protein, which strengthens a person, and without sugar it is not fattening. - Samael Aun Weor

A dark-chocolate truffle melts in my mouth, and I forget about everything else... even the fact that I'm on a diet. - Barbara Brooke

The Bible's full of wine. God ain't got nothing against a little drink to celebrate His Son's birthday with. - Archie Bunker

It was so quiet, a reservation kind of quiet, where you can hear somebody drinking whiskey on the rocks three miles away. - Sherman Alexie

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth. - George Burns

Live in each season as it passes; breathe the air, drink the drink, taste the fruit, and resign yourself to the influences of each. - Henry David Thoreau

I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield

I can remember a reporter asking me for a quote, and I didn't know what a quote was. I thought it was some kind of a soft drink. - Joe DiMaggio

The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd druther not. - Mark Twain

A woman should never be seen eating or drinking, unless it be lobster salad and Champagne, the only true feminine and becoming viands. - George G. Byron

The call of the yellow-billed cuckoo of North America is often mistaken for a bloodhound drinking a bowl of milk. He goes coulp coulp coulp. - Will Cuppy

When I get through tearing a lobster apart, or one of those tender West Coast octopuses, I feel like I had a drink from the fountain of youth. - Joseph Mitchell