Restored Beauty

My brain has too many tabs open. - Unknown

God heals, and the doctor takes the fees. - Benjamin Franklin

The way a doctor writes out a subscription. - Archie Bunker

Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine. - Lord Byron

Play is our brain's favorite way of learning. - Diane Ackerman

He has a brain like Einstein's - dead since 1955. - Gene Perret

After two days in hospital I took a turn for the nurse. - WC Fields

Whether a person is a male or female, a nurse is a nurse. - Gary Veale

A smart mother makes often a better diagnosis than a poor doctor. - August Bier

Do not call for black power or green power. Call for brain power. - Barbara Jordan

Medicine is only for those who cannot imagine doing anything else. - Luanda Grazette

The last mosquito that bit me had to check into the Betty Ford clinic. - Joanna Lumley

You couldn't tell if she was dressed for an opera or an operation. - Irvin S Cobb

My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror. - Rodney Dangerfield

When it comes to plastic surgery and sushi, never be attracted by a bargain. - Graham Norton

This is a sharp medicine, but it is a physician for all diseases and miseries. - Sir Walter Raleigh

Oh, when I was a kid, I was ugly. When I was born, the doctor smacked my mother. - Rodney Dangerfield

The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman. - Jonathan Swift

I got the bill for my surgery. Now I know what those doctors were wearing masks for. - James H. Boren

The brain is only one condition out of many on which intellectual manifestations depend. - Thomas Henry Huxley

Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle

We go by the major vote, and if the majority are insane, the sane must go to the hospital. - Horace Mann

A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines. - Frank Lloyd Wright

My mother had this amazing attitude in the face of everything, including when she got cancer. - Bill Clinton

Do I have a large frog in my hair? I'm worried about the sensation of my brain being eaten. - Joaquin Phoenix

The art of medicine consists of amusing the patient, whilst Mother Nature takes care of the cure. - Voltaire

When I was born the Doctor took one look at my face, turned me over and said, "Look, twins!" - Rodney Dangerfield

Kindness and a generous spirit go a long way. And a sense of humor. It's like medicine - very healing. - Max Irons

The human brain starts working the moment you are born and never stops until you stand up to speak in public. - George Jessel

Most ballet teachers in the United States are terrible. If they were in medicine, everyone would be poisoned. - George Balanchine

God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time. - Robin Williams

The public needs to know - they need to know as much about atrial fibrillation as they do about cancer and diabetes. - Barry Manilow

The best doctor in the world is a veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter - he's got to know. - Will Rogers

'Psychotherapy' is a private, confidential conversation that has nothing to do with illness, medicine, or healing. - Thomas Szasz

It is reasonable to expect the doctor to recognize that science may not have all the answers to problems of health and healing. - Norman Cousins

I've got a great doctor. He gave a guy six months to live. They couldn't pay his bill so he gave him another six months. - Henny Youngman

Once in your life you need a doctor, a lawyer, a policeman, and a preacher... but every day, three times a day, you need a farmer. - Brenda Schaepp

A man who cannot work without his hypodermic needle is a poor doctor. The amount of narcotic you use is inversely proportional to your skill. - Martin H. Fischer

I'm going to make people happy. I'm going to make them forget about their cancer. I'm going to make them forget about their diabetes. - Dick Dale

In other industries, value is defined by the ultimate stakeholder - the one who benefits, or not, from the service. We should do the same in medicine. - Dave deBronkart