#1 humor site on the 'net

Redneck Winter Spa

Frozen water is no challenge for Bubba and his antifreeze friends

Redneck Winter Spa thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

Best Spa for outdoor massages in Georgia

QuotaBills
Just keep swimming. - Finding Nemo

Turkish Bath: A pool room - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Only dead fish swim with the stream. - Malcolm Muggeridge

I love shark week, all kids swim for free. - Josh Stern

What happens in the hot tub stays in the hot tub. - Aussie Swimmer

Water Polo: What horses play in the swimming pool - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Oh, that sound? I'm in the hot tub, reading a novel. - Jane Smiley

You will never get lessons on swimming from a drowning man. - Unknown

The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard. - Steven Wright

There are 350 varieties of shark, not counting loan and pool. - L.M. Boyd

Everyone makes fun of the Redneck until the Zombie Apocalypse. - Unknown

No man drowns if he perseveres in praying to God, and can swim. - Russian Proverb

Live in the sunshine
Swim in the sea
Drink the wild air - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Leadership, like swimming, cannot be learned by reading about it. - Henry Mintzberg

The man who is swimming against the stream knows the strength of it. - Woodrow Wilson

To be born in India is to arrive into the world swimming in religion. - Ravi Zacharias

I have spent most of my life playing pool. The rest of it, I have wasted. - Unknown

A dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim upstream. - WC Fields

One of my goals in life is to have the biggest residential pool on the planet. - Drake

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy

Don't be a fish; be a frog. Swim in the water and jump when you hit ground. - Kim Young-ha

Let your hook be always cast. In the pool where you least expect it, will be fish. - Ovid

If I swim in the ocean, I have a shark thought. Not a bad one, but just a little one. - Tea Leoni

In matters of style, swim with the current. In matters of principle, stand like a rock. - Thomas Jefferson

It's the Olympics. If you can't get up to swim early in the morning, don't go. - Michael Phelps

I guess you would say I'd be like the Michael Phelps of swimming if he wasn't there. - Ryan Lochte

I drank because I wanted to drown my sorrows, but now the damned things have learned to swim. - Frida Kahlo

For short term relaxation, I take a hot tub. It's my best way to unblock writer's block. - Ellen Hopkins

You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather. - Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it. - Jeff Foxworthy

I keep fit. Every morning, I do a hundred laps of an Olympic-sized swimming pool - in a small motor launch. - Peter Cook

If you are in the job for glamour, you're in for the shock of your life. The media is a huge shark pool. - Trisha Goddard

Many people cycle or swim to keep trim. But if swimming is so good for the figure, how do you explain whales? - Charles Saatchi

For a great gaming experience, make sure the rails, cushion and slate of the pool table are of the best quality. - Unknown

It's better to swim in the sea below
Than to swing in the air and feed the crow,
Says jolly Ned Teach of Bristol. - Benjamin Franklin

I can't swim. I can't drive, either. I was going to learn to drive but then I thought, well, what if I crash into a lake? - Dylan Moran

You can imagine me as a kid growing up in redneck Texas with ballet shoes, tucking the violin under my arm. I had to fight my way up. - Patrick Swayze

I'll paddle board, swim in the ocean, roll in the sand, soak up the sun, eat good food, be with friends and family and go fishing with my dad. - Behati Prinsloo

If one morning I walked on top of the water across the Potomac River, the headline that afternoon would read: "President Can't Swim." - Lyndon B. Johnson

Car Pool: Complicated system of transportation where Mom always winds up going the furthest with the biggest bunch of kids who have had the most sugar - Daffynitions joe-ks.com


Polar Bear Attack

Bottom Blast Car Wash

Air Meal

Starbucks Goes Extra Mile

Braided Mohawk

Just One More Glass

His First Hot Rod

Saskatchewan Roads

Pool Is Closed

Upended Water Buffalo

Do Not Touch Sign

Cold Beer

Grandma Safety

Partial Flight

Scenic View

Racewagon

Water Skier A-Head Of His Time

Owlympics Ice Skating

Shining Armor Knight

Smile For The Day

British Hairways

Cross Inspector

Morning Saving Time

Kangaroo On Ice