Redneck Wiener Roast

Then you add two forkfuls of cooking oil. - The French Chef

She did not so much cook as assassinate food. - Storm Jameson

Home cooking. Where many a man thinks his wife is. - Jimmy Durante

I don't even butter my bread. I consider that cooking. - Katherine Cebrian

Jello: The only food your husband has ever learned to cook - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I was 32 when I started cooking; up until then, I just ate. - Julia Child

I'm a terrible cook, but I make very good lobster salad. - Nancy Carell

My wife's such a bad cook, the dog begs for Alka-Seltzer. - Rodney Dangerfield

Everyone makes fun of the Redneck until the Zombie Apocalypse. - Unknown

In France, cooking is a serious art form and a national sport. - Julia Child

Cooking certain dishes, like roast pork, reminds me of my mother. - Maya Angelou

Music with dinner is an insult both to the cook and the violinist. - G K Chesterton

I'm a bit of a gourmet chef. I love cooking - mostly Thai food. - Will Ferrell

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you didn't cook it! - Gordon Ramsay

Lawsuit: a machine you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage. - Ambrose Bierce

Cooking Tip: Wrap turkey leftovers in aluminum foil and throw them out. - Nicole Hollander

Govern a great nation as you would cook a small fish. Do not overdo it. - Lao Tzu

If ever a chef were to cook a fly, he would keep the breast for himself. - Poland Proverb

Advice is like cooking - you should try it first before you feed it to others. - Unknown

Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage. - Ambrose Bierce

A highbrow is the kind of person who looks at a sausage and thinks of Picasso. - Alan P Herbert

The only good thing about him is his cook. The world visits his dinners, not him. - Moliere

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor. - Phyllis Diller

When men reach their sixties and retire, they go to pieces. Women go right on cooking. - Gail Sheehy

A recipe is only a theme, which an intelligent cook can play each time with a variation. - Madame Benoit

If you meet someone who can cook and do housework, don't hesitate a minute - marry him! - Rita Rudner

From an early age I understood that cooking was never going to be a job, it's a passion. - Gordon Ramsay

My wife is such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss in the kitchen the roaches hang themselves. - Rodney Dangerfield

You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather. - Jeff Foxworthy

It was so hot today that Burger King was singing, 'if you want it your way, cook it yourself.' - Johnny Carson

You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it. - Jeff Foxworthy

I'm not always optimistic. You wouldn't have all cylinders cooking if you were always like Mary Poppins. - Carol Burnett

What my mother believed about cooking is that if you worked hard and prospered, someone else would do it for you. - Nora Ephron

The wonderful world of home appliances now makes it possible to cook indoors with charcoal and outdoors with gas. - Bill Vaughan

The biggest seller is cookbooks and the second is diet books - how not to eat what you've just learned now to cook. - Andy Rooney

An expert is like the bottom of a double boiler. It shoots off a lot of steam, but it never really knows what's cooking. - Unknown

Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime. Unless he doesn't like sushi, then you also have to teach him to cook. - Auren Hoffman

At the age of six I wanted to be a cook. At seven I wanted to be Napoleon. And my ambition has been growing steadily ever since. - Salvador Dali

You can imagine me as a kid growing up in redneck Texas with ballet shoes, tucking the violin under my arm. I had to fight my way up. - Patrick Swayze

I cook croquetas, and I eat jamon. I keep my diet 100% Mediterranean and drink my Rioja. In that sense, I have a piece of Spain in West Hollywood. - Paz Vega