Redneck Wiener Roast

Then you add two forkfuls of cooking oil. - The French Chef

She did not so much cook as assassinate food. - Storm Jameson

Home cooking. Where many a man thinks his wife is. - Jimmy Durante

I cook with wine; sometimes I even add it to the food. - WC Fields

Poultry is for the cook what canvas is for the painter. - Jean Anthelme Brillat-Savarin

I don't even butter my bread. I consider that cooking. - Katherine Cebrian

I was 32 when I started cooking; up until then, I just ate. - Julia Child

I'm a terrible cook, but I make very good lobster salad. - Nancy Carell

My wife's such a bad cook, the dog begs for Alka-Seltzer. - Rodney Dangerfield

A hot dog at the ballpark is better than a steak at the Ritz. - Humphrey Bogart

Everyone makes fun of the Redneck until the Zombie Apocalypse. - Unknown

My wife is such a bad cook, in my house we pray after the meal. - Rodney Dangerfield

Cooking certain dishes, like roast pork, reminds me of my mother. - Maya Angelou

Smoke detectors are basically just you-suck-at-cooking detectors. - Julius Sharpe

I'm a bit of a gourmet chef. I love cooking - mostly Thai food. - Will Ferrell

Lawsuit: a machine you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage. - Ambrose Bierce

Cooking Tip: Wrap turkey leftovers in aluminum foil and throw them out. - Nicole Hollander

If ever a chef were to cook a fly, he would keep the breast for himself. - Poland Proverb

Advice is like cooking - you should try it first before you feed it to others. - Unknown

Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage. - Ambrose Bierce

A highbrow is the kind of person who looks at a sausage and thinks of Picasso. - Alan P Herbert

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy

The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook. - Julia Child

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor. - Phyllis Diller

If you meet someone who can cook and do housework, don't hesitate a minute - marry him! - Rita Rudner

From an early age I understood that cooking was never going to be a job, it's a passion. - Gordon Ramsay

My wife is such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss in the kitchen the roaches hang themselves. - Rodney Dangerfield

Breakfast is my favorite meal. I cook a big one for everyone - bacon and eggs. I own a lot of eggcups. - Emily Mortimer

It was so hot today that Burger King was singing, 'if you want it your way, cook it yourself.' - Johnny Carson

In the words of Harry S. Truman, "If it's too hot in the kitchen, stay away from the cook." - Archie Bunker

You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it. - Jeff Foxworthy

What my mother believed about cooking is that if you worked hard and prospered, someone else would do it for you. - Nora Ephron

The wonderful world of home appliances now makes it possible to cook indoors with charcoal and outdoors with gas. - Bill Vaughan

The biggest seller is cookbooks and the second is diet books - how not to eat what you've just learned now to cook. - Andy Rooney

I love spaghetti. And I like to cook spaghetti. And I used to eat it every day. I weighed thirty pounds more than I do now. - Christopher Walken

An expert is like the bottom of a double boiler. It shoots off a lot of steam, but it never really knows what's cooking. - Unknown

At the age of six I wanted to be a cook. At seven I wanted to be Napoleon. And my ambition has been growing steadily ever since. - Salvador Dali

There is one thing more exasperating than a spouse who can cook and won't... and that's a spouse who can't cook and will. - Unknown

You can imagine me as a kid growing up in redneck Texas with ballet shoes, tucking the violin under my arm. I had to fight my way up. - Patrick Swayze