Redneck Water Filter

Save water - drink vodka. - Unknown

Out of water, I am nothing. - Duke Kahanamoku

RIP boiling water - you will be mist. - Unknown

Water is the only drink for a wise man. - Henry David Thoreau

Friendship is a plant we must often water. - German Proverb

A tear is made of 1% water and 99% feelings. - Unknown

Be on your guard against a silent dog and still water. - Latin Proverb

Droughts are because god didn't pay his water bill. - Steven Wright

People run from rain but sit in bathtubs full of water. - Charles Bukowski

You can't cross the sea merely by staring at the water. - Rabindranath Tagore

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them. - Mitch Hedberg

The cure for anything is salt water - sweat, tears or the sea. - Isak Dinesen

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink. - English Proverb

If his IQ slips any lower, we'll have to water him twice a day. - Molly Ivins

Love and work are to people, what water and sunshine are to plants. - Jonathan Haidt

Gardening requires lots of water, most of it in the form of perspiration. - Lou Erickson

When in doubt as to the applicability of a disinfectant, use soap and water. - Martin H. Fischer

There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments. - Chris Rock

In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. - Ben Franklin

You got to have smelt a lot of mule manure before you can sing like a hillbilly. - Hank Williams

Warm Water Theorem: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The dignity of movement of an iceberg is due to only one ninth of it being above water. - Ernest Hemingway

Before enlightenment: chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment: chop wood, carry water. - Zen Buddhist Saying

When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water. - Unknown

It's a strange world of language in which skating on thin ice can get you into hot water. - Franklin P. Jones

If NASA really wants to find water on Mars, they should just send me there to hit a golf ball. - Gene Jaster

You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather. - Jeff Foxworthy

When your shot has to carry over a water hazard, you can either use one more club or two more balls. - Unknown

When the clergyman's daughter
Drinks nothing but water
She's certain to finish on gin. - Rudyard Kipling

You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it. - Jeff Foxworthy

Whatever I am offered in devotion with a pure heart - a leaf, a flower, fruit, or water - I accept with joy. - Bhagavad Gita

Milk is the drink of babies, tea the drink of women, water the drink of beasts, and wine is the drink of the gods. - John S Blackie

Be like a duck, paddling and working very hard inside the water, but what everyone sees is a smiling and calm face. - Manoj Arora

Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. - Bob Hope

Love would never be a promise of a rose garden unless it is showered with light of faith, water of sincerity and air of passion. - Unknown

From a drop of water a logician could infer the possibility of an Atlantic or a Niagara without having seen or heard of one or the other. - Arthur Conan Doyle

Iron rusts from disuse; stagnant water loses its purity and in cold weather becomes frozen; even so does inaction sap the vigor of the mind. - Leonardo da Vinci

A leader is not an administrator who loves to run others, but someone who carries water for his people, so that they can get on with their jobs. - Robert Townsend

One of the first duties of the physician is to educate the masses not to take medicine... Soap and water and common sense are the best disinfectants. - William Osler

Advice from a tree:
- Stand tall and proud
- Go out on a limb
- Remember your roots
- Drink plenty of water
- Enjoy the view - Unknown