Redneck Water Filter

Out of water, I am nothing. - Duke Kahanamoku

RIP boiling water - you will be mist. - Unknown

Friendship is a plant we must often water. - German Proverb

The water doesn't know how old you are. - Dara Torres

Water that does not move is always shallow. - Sami Proverb

Water, taken in moderation, cannot hurt anybody. - Mark Twain

He was so good he would pour rose water on a toad. - Douglas Jerrold

You never miss the water till the well has run dry. - Irish Proverb

The scalded dog fears hot water, and afterwards, cold. - Italian Proverb

Droughts are because god didn't pay his water bill. - Steven Wright

I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle. - Mitch Hedberg

You can't cross the sea merely by staring at the water. - Rabindranath Tagore

I moved to Florida because you don't have to shovel water. - James Randi

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him float. - Unknown

Washable: What a cowboy does, very carefully, with soap and water - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

My wife's an earth sign. I'm a water sign. Together we make mud. - Henny Youngman

When in doubt as to the applicability of a disinfectant, use soap and water. - Martin H. Fischer

A woman is like a teabag. Only in hot water do you realize how strong she is. - Nancy Reagan

You got to have smelt a lot of mule manure before you can sing like a hillbilly. - Hank Williams

Warm Water Theorem: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Don't throw away the old bucket until you know whether the new one holds water. - Swedish Proverb

You can lead a herring to water, but you have to walk really fast or he'll die. - Rose

Puddle: A small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes into it - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

When ya go out there in the water and ya start crossing your longirudes and lassitudes. - Archie Bunker

The dignity of movement of an iceberg is due to only one ninth of it being above water. - Ernest Hemingway

A woman is like a tea bag; you never know how strong it is until it's in hot water. - Eleanor Roosevelt

You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather. - Jeff Foxworthy

A wise man adapts himself to circumstances, as water shapes itself to the vessel that contains it. - Chinese Proverb

When the clergyman's daughter
Drinks nothing but water
She's certain to finish on gin. - Rudyard Kipling

Like the old adverb, "you can lead a gift horse to the water but ya can't look in his mouth." - Archie Bunker

Sailor: 1. A man who makes his living on water but never touches it on shore; 2. A wolf in ship's clothing. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Be like a duck, paddling and working very hard inside the water, but what everyone sees is a smiling and calm face. - Manoj Arora

After all, when a stone is dropped into a pond, the water continues quivering even after the stone has sunk to the bottom. - Arthur Golden

For my last meal, I'd want an Irish breakfast with soda bread and one of my dad's omelettes with three or four eggs. - Erin O'Connor

How come if you mix flour and water together you get glue? And when you add eggs and sugar you get cake? Where does the glue go? - Rita Rudner

Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water. - WC Fields

Mancation: A man's vacation. Generally includes lots of beer, a Redneck grill, slabs of meat for cooking and a sack of fireworks. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If one morning I walked on top of the water across the Potomac River, the headline that afternoon would read: "President Can't Swim." - Lyndon B. Johnson

One of the first duties of the physician is to educate the masses not to take medicine... Soap and water and common sense are the best disinfectants. - William Osler

Advice from a tree:
- Stand tall and proud
- Go out on a limb
- Remember your roots
- Drink plenty of water
- Enjoy the view - Unknown