Redneck Cup Holders

A full cup must be carried steadily. - English Proverb

Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks? - Steven Wright

Your messages are all the coffee I need. - Unknown

How I feel when there is no coffee? DEPRESSO - Unknown

Step aside Coffee. This is a job for Alcohol. - Unknown

Should I kill myself, or have a cup of coffee? - Albert Camus

I have measured out my life with coffee spoons. - T S Eliot

Leanardo De Cappuccino: Founder, coffee shop chain - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I only drink coffee grown in high altitude rain forests. - Rob Dyrdek

Life without books, chocolate and coffee is just useless. - Nadun Lokuliyanage

I think if I were a woman I'd wear coffee as a perfume. - John Van Druten

Coffee is a beverage that puts one to sleep when not drank. - Alphonse Allais

A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems. - Paul Erdos

Everyone makes fun of the Redneck until the Zombie Apocalypse. - Unknown

Coffee and chocolate - the inventor of mocha should be sainted. - Cherise Sinclair

If your cup is only half full, you probably need a different bra. - Shae Aaron

suJoku.com - suDoku by Joe Defries, 3-time Guinness World Record Holder - Joe Defries

What would life be without coffee? But then, what is it even with coffee? - King Louis XV

I never drink coffee at lunch - I find it keeps me awake for the afternoon. - Ronald Reagan

You can never get a cup of tea big enough or a book long enough to suit me. - C S Lewis

I'm at the age now where just putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill. - George Burns

You got to have smelt a lot of mule manure before you can sing like a hillbilly. - Hank Williams

He drained the cup of God's wrath bone dry, leaving not a drop for us to drink. - Richard A Bodey

I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn't have one. So I got a cake. - Mitch Hedberg

It's amazing how the world begins to change through the eyes of a cup of coffee. - Donna A Favors

Good communication is as stimulating as black coffee, and just as hard to sleep after. - Anne Morrow Lindbergh

The less Holy Spirit we have, the more cake and coffee we need to keep the church going. - Reinhard Bonnke

A half finished shawl left on the coffee table isn't a mess; it's an object of art. - Stephanie Pearl-McPhee

If this is coffee, please bring me some tea. But if this is tea, please bring me some coffee. - Abraham Lincoln

Jitterbug: 1. A Scotchman in front of a pay toilet; 2. Insect that's had too much coffee. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

You haven't had enough coffee until you can thread a sewing machine while it's running. - Unknown

You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather. - Jeff Foxworthy

Don't talk to me until I've had my coffee, and then after that still don't talk to me. - Unknown

You do not play hockey for good seasons. You play to win the Stanley Cup. It has to be the objective. - Guy Lafleur

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat. - Alex Levine

You can imagine me as a kid growing up in redneck Texas with ballet shoes, tucking the violin under my arm. I had to fight my way up. - Patrick Swayze

The trout enjoys the river,
The whale enjoys the sea,
And dogs love most an old lamp-post,
But you're my cup of tea. - W H Auden

A beautiful woman moved in next door. So I went over and returned a cup of sugar. "You didn't borrow this." "I will." - Steven Wright

A giraffe's coffee would be cold by the time it reached the bottom of its throat. Ever think about that? No. You only think about yourself. - Unknown

Blind dates are treacherous. You don't know who this person is. You wonder, "Should I call my grandma during coffee to get out of this?" - Alan Alda