QuotaBillsFjord: Norwegian car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Khaki: A thing for starting a car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Chop your own path. Get off the car track. - A.Y. Jackson
Didn't he take the exercise tax off cars? - Archie Bunker
Auto racing began 5 minutes after the second car was built. - Henry Ford
Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. - Erma Bombeck
Everyone makes fun of the Redneck until the Zombie Apocalypse. - Unknown
You should never have more children than you have car windows. - Erma Bombeck
I had to stop driving my car for a while - the tires got dizzy. - Steven Wright
Only a biker knows why a dog sticks his head out of a car window. - Unknown
Living with a conscience is like driving a car with the brakes on. - Budd Schulberg
The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. - Dudley Moore
We all thought we'd have flying cars by now, but we don't. - Dana Brunetti
To attract men, I wear a perfume called "New Car Interior". - Rita Rudner
My father would take me to the playground, and put me on mood swings. - Jay London
A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who has never owned a car. - Carrie Snow
When a police officer tells you to stay in the car, you stay in the car. - Reese Witherspoon
It is sometimes as dangerous to be run into by a microbe as by a trolley car. - J.J. Walsh
A private railroad car is not an acquired taste. One takes to it immediately. - Eleanor R. Belmont
You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy
I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars. - Erma Bombeck
You got to have smelt a lot of mule manure before you can sing like a hillbilly. - Hank Williams
I spent a lot of my money on booze, birds and fast cars... the rest I squandered. - George Best
When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife. - Prince Philip
You don't have to carry a designer bag that costs more than a car to look cool. - Kesha
The lead car is absolutely unique, except for the one behind it which is identical. - Murray Walker
Wealthy people miss one of life's greatest thrills: making the last car payment. - Unknown
Drive-in banks were established so most of the cars today could see their real owners. - E. Joseph Crossman
Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke
The dent in his car is hardly cold and he's coming over here to claim his pound of fish. - Archie Bunker
They say you only go around once, but with a muscle car you can go around two or three times. - Tim Allen
Yesterday I parked my car in a tow-away zone... when I came back the entire area was missing. - Steven Wright
HonkoSecond: The time between the light turning green and the sound from the car horn behind you - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after. - Peter DeVries
Golden Age: When the kids are too old to need baby-sitters and too young to borrow the family car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather. - Jeff Foxworthy
Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. - Erma Bombeck
Police officers may drive black and white cars, however what goes on in their job is a lot of gray. - Arik Matson
When Henry Ford made cheap, reliable cars people said, 'Nah, what's wrong with a horse?' - Elon Musk
If I weren't skateboarding, I'd love to race cars. I like anything that's fast and active. - Ryan Sheckler
I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes. - Homer Simpson
You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it. - Jeff Foxworthy
Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pick-up truck, and end up with a station wagon. - Tim Allen
When walking, you see things that you miss in a motor car or on the train. You give your mind space to ponder. - Tom Hodgkinson
Poverty: 1. A state of mind sometimes induced by a neighbour's new car; 2. One thing that money can't buy. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
For all of the fights I have had in my life, both on and off the ice, I have only been in the back of a cop car once. - Tie Domi
I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. - Steven Wright
The actual building of roads devoted to motor cars is not for the near future, in spite of many rumors to that effect. - Harper's Weekly
A relationship without trust is like a car without gas. You can stay in it all you want, but it won't go anywhere. - Jay Shetty
I do get scared of the dentist, so a drive-through dentist might make me feel more at home. If I got to stay in my car. - Jessica Pare
Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car. - Garrison Keillor
My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck
I'm not a car guy. The subway gets me where I need to go efficiently and cheaply, and I don't worry about traffic. - Joe Scarborough
Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down. - George Carlin
When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car. - Unknown
It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. - Ben Bergor
Tonight we'll be talking to a car designer who's crossed Toyota with Quasimodo and come up with the Hatchback of Notre Dame. - Ronnie Corbett
I have an answering machine in my car. It says, "I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out." - Steven Wright
You can imagine me as a kid growing up in redneck Texas with ballet shoes, tucking the violin under my arm. I had to fight my way up. - Patrick Swayze
Mancation: A man's vacation. Generally includes lots of beer, a Redneck grill, slabs of meat for cooking and a sack of fireworks. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. - Theodore Roosevelt
A car hits a Jewish man. The paramedic rushes over and says, "Are you comfortable?" The guy says, "I make a good living." - Henny Youngman
A three year old child is a being who gets almost as much fun out of a fifty-six dollar set of swings as it does out of finding a small green worm. - Bill Vaughan
When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving. - Steven Wright
Car Pool: Complicated system of transportation where Mom always winds up going the furthest with the biggest bunch of kids who have had the most sugar - Daffynitions joe-ks.com