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Redneck Bucket List

Maslow's hierarchy of needs is pretty easy for Bubba

Redneck Bucket List thanks to Mike King

QuotaBills
Hard Water: The scientific name for ice - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

You can never buy beer, you just rent it. - Archie Bunker

Beer. Now there's a temporary solution. - Homer Simpson

Beer, it's the best damn drink in the world. - Jack Nicholson

She tells enough white lies to ice a wedding cake. - Margot Asquith

A diamond is the only kind of ice that keeps a girl warm. - Elizabeth Taylor

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. - Benjamin Franklin

What two ideas are more inseparable than Beer and Britannia? - Sydney Smith

Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Wilhelm II

I'm only a beer teetotaller, not a champagne teetotaller. - George Bernard Shaw

Advertising is the rattling of a stick inside a swill-bucket. - George Orwell

A meal of bread, cheese, and beer constitutes the perfect food. - Queen Elizabeth I

If you're already walking on thin ice, you might as well dance. - Proverb

In heaven there is no beer...
That's why we drink ours here. - Unknown

Break the ice in a crowded elevator by asking how much everyone weighs. - Bill Murray

You may know the intractability of a disease by its long list of remedies. - Alonzo Clark

In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. - Ben Franklin

The thinner the ice, the more anxious is everyone to see whether it will bear. - Josh Billins

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy

When it gets hot like this, you know what I do? I keep my undies in the ice box. - Marilyn Monroe

Don't throw away the old bucket until you know whether the new one holds water. - Swedish Proverb

Kidney: 1. Midpoint of a child's leg; 2. An organ used to convert beer into urine. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

History is merely a list of surprises. It can only prepare us to be surprised yet again. - Kurt Vonnegut

I made a huge to do list for today. I just can't figure out who's going to do it. - Unknown

I like ice hockey. No one is ever going to ask me to write about that as a metaphor for life. - Steven Pinker

A statistician can have his head in the oven and his feet in ice, and on average he feels fine. - Unknown

They don't make pizza or beer out of celery. And that is all you need to know about celery. - Bill Murray

An Irishman after trying American beer for the first time: "Put it back in the horse!" - Unknown

You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather. - Jeff Foxworthy

For a list of all the ways technology has failed to improve the quality of life, please press three. - Alice Kahn

Iceomaniac: One who has to go out of their way to step on thin ice to hear a satisfying crunching sound - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

All the plants in my house are dead - I shot them last night. I was teasing them by watering them with ice cubes. - Steven Wright

Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work. - Robert Orben

Put 'eat chocolate' at the top of your list of things to do today. That way, at least you'll get one thing done. - Unknown

Everyone knows that ice cream is worth the trouble of being cold. Like all things virtuous, you have to suffer to gain the reward. - Brandon Sanderson

You can imagine me as a kid growing up in redneck Texas with ballet shoes, tucking the violin under my arm. I had to fight my way up. - Patrick Swayze

I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright

My advice to you is not to inquire why or whither, but just enjoy your ice cream while it's on your plate - that's my philosophy. - Thornton Wilder

NASA's robot Curiosity landed on Mars. Early pictures show no signs of ESPN or beer. This makes it very clear that men are not from Mars. - Unknown

If you sang "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall" and counted all the numbers mentioned throughout the entire song, it would add up to 14,850. - Joe-kster


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