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Redneck Bucket List

Maslow's hierarchy of needs is pretty easy for Bubba

Redneck Bucket List thanks to Mike King

QuotaBills
Payday came and with it beer. - Rudyard Kipling

Religions change; beer and wine remain. - Hervey Allen

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. - Unknown

She tells enough white lies to ice a wedding cake. - Margot Asquith

Some say the world will end in fire, some say in ice. - Robert Frost

Bladder: The human apparatus that pays the tax on beer - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. - Benjamin Franklin

What two ideas are more inseparable than Beer and Britannia? - Sydney Smith

Everyone makes fun of the Redneck until the Zombie Apocalypse. - Unknown

The trouble with jogging is that the ice falls out of your glass. - Martin Mull

Ah, good ol' trustworthy beer. My love for you will never die. - Homer Simpson

If you're already walking on thin ice, you might as well dance. - Proverb

Life is too short to eat vanilla ice cream and dance with boring men. - Unknown

The last thing I want to do is hurt you but it's still on the list. - Unknown

If you want to make everyone happy, don't be a leader. Sell ice cream. - Steve Jobs

Always give them the old fire, even when you feel like a squashed cake of ice. - Ethel Merman

Don't throw away the old bucket until you know whether the new one holds water. - Swedish Proverb

Hockey: 1. Mayhem on ice; 2. A form of disorderly conduct in which the score is kept. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Kidney: 1. Midpoint of a child's leg; 2. An organ used to convert beer into urine. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

History is merely a list of surprises. It can only prepare us to be surprised yet again. - Kurt Vonnegut

You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar. - Groucho Marx

I made a huge to do list for today. I just can't figure out who's going to do it. - Unknown

They don't make pizza or beer out of celery. And that is all you need to know about celery. - Bill Murray

We all get the same amount of ice. The rich get it in the summer. The poor get it in the winter. - Bat Masterson

You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather. - Jeff Foxworthy

In my mind, I've always been an A-list Hollywood superstar. Y'all just didn't know yet. - Will Smith

Age does not diminish the extreme disappointment of having a scoop of ice cream fall from the cone. - Jim Fiebig

I'm going to the Colonel next. I'm gonna get a big bucket of chicken chests and smashed potatoes. - Archie Bunker

You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it. - Jeff Foxworthy

All the plants in my house are dead - I shot them last night. I was teasing them by watering them with ice cubes. - Steven Wright

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. - George Carlin

When I was in boy scouts, I slipped on the ice and hurt my ankle. A little old lady had to help me across the street. - Steven Wright

When you're stressed, eat ice cream, cake, chocolate and sweets. Why? Because stressed spelled backwards is desserts. - Unknown

Human beings will line up for miles to buy a bucket of catastrophes, but don't try selling sunshine and light; you'll go broke. - Chuck Jones

In those days the best painkiller was ice. It wasn't addictive, and it was particularly effective if you poured some whiskey over it. - George Burns

NASA's robot Curiosity landed on Mars. Early pictures show no signs of ESPN or beer. This makes it very clear that men are not from Mars. - Unknown

New Pasta Diet: Just walk pasta bakery without stopping. Walk pasta candy store without stopping. Walk pasta ice cream shop without stopping. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong. - George Carlin

Passover and Easter are the only Jewish and Christian holidays that move in sync, like the ice skating pairs we saw during the winter Olympics. - Marvin Olasky

If you sang "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall" and counted all the numbers mentioned throughout the entire song, it would add up to 14,850. - Joe-kster


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