Redneck Bidet

Humor is a universal language. - Joel Goodman

If it gets laughs, it's funny. - Rachel Dratch

I'm not funny. What I am is brave. - Lucille Ball

Jazz is not dead... it just smells funny. - Frank Zappa

I would rather be called funny than pretty. - Nia Vardalos

He who laughs last didn't get the joke. - Charles de Gaulle

The crisis of today is the joke of tomorrow. - H G Wells

Laugh at yourself first before anyone else can. - Elsa Maxwell

Laughter is a tranquilizer with no side effects. - Arnold H Glasow

Laughter is the shortest distance between two people. - Victor Borge

You can't stay mad at somebody who makes you laugh. - Jay Leno

You can't be funny if you don't have good material. - Matt LeBlanc

The wit knows that his place is at the tail of a procession. - Mark Twain

If you can make a woman laugh, you can make her do anything. - Marilyn Monroe

I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out my nose. - Woody Allen

Where there is laughter there is always more health than sickness. - Phyllis Bottome

All I know about humor is that I don't know anything about it. - Fred Allen

A humorist is a person who feels bad, but who feels good about it. - Don Herold

The next best thing to solving a problem is finding some humor in it. - Frank A. Clark

The scariest person in the world is the person with no sense of humor. - Michael J. Fox

We laugh, we cry, we make time fly. We are best friends, my mom and I. - Unknown

Life is a tragedy for those who feel, and a comedy for those who think. - Jean de La Bruyere

The best way to make your audience laugh is to start laughing yourself. - Oliver Goldsmith

Laughter is, after speech, the chief thing that holds society together. - Max Eastman

Humour is practically the only thing about which the English are utterly serious. - Malcolm Muggeridge

There's a fine line between angry and grumpy. Angry isn't nice, but grumpy is funny. - Rick Wakeman

There are three basic rules for great comedy. Unfortunately no-one can remember what they are. - Arthur Smith

An onion can make people cry, but there has never been a vegetable invented to make them laugh. - Will Rogers

Lighten up, just enjoy life, smile more, laugh more, and don't get so worked up about things. - Kenneth Branagh

Humor is what happens when we're told the truth quicker and more directly than we're used to. - George Saunders

If you don't learn to laugh at trouble, you won't have anything to laugh at when you grow old. - Edgar Watson Howe

You have a choice in this world, I believe, about how to tell sad stories, and we made the funny choice. - John Green

Two things are important for missionaries: (1) they have a sense of humour; and (2) the have no sense of smell. - Phil Callaway

Humor must not professedly teach and it must not professedly preach, but it must do both if it would live forever. - Mark Twain

When hungry, eat your rice; when tired, close your eyes. Fools may laugh at me, but wise men will know what I mean. - Lin-Chi

She raised us with humor, and she raised us to understand that not everything was going to be great, but how to laugh through it. - Liza Minnelli

The man with the real sense of humor is the man who can put himself in the spectator's place and laugh at his own misfortune. - Bert Williams

Keep your sense of humor. There's enough stress in the rest of your life to let bad shots ruin a game you're supposed to enjoy. - Amy Alcott

Drink and dance and laugh and lie,
Love, the reeling midnight through,
For tomorrow we shall die!
(But, alas, we never do.) - Dorothy Parker

Sexiness wears thin after a while and beauty fades, but to be married to a man who make you laugh every day, ah, now that's a real treat. - Joanne Woodward