Read The Fine Print

On Time: An obscure term, meaning unknown - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

To be a poet is a condition, not a profession. - Robert Frost

Eve: The first chicken to ruin a man's garden - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms. - Groucho Marx

When I go I'll take New Year's Eve with me. - Guy Lombardo

Don't think your condition is good enough; KNOW IT! - Unknown

Embarrassed: Emmy's condition after losing her pants - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

An apple a day keeps anyone away if you throw it hard enough. - Unknown

Contract: An agreement that is binding only on the weaker party. - Unknown

The first condition of understanding a foreign country is to smell it. - Rudyard Kipling

All the honesty in the world ain't legal tender for a loaf of bread. - Josh Billings

Civilization is a movement and not a condition, a voyage and not a harbor. - Arnold J. Toynbee

An economist is a man who states the obvious in terms of the incomprehensible. - Alfred A. Knopf

Adam, the first great benefactor of our race. He brought death into the world. - Mark Twain

Washington, D.C.: Where the criminals cover their crimes by making them legal. - Frank Dane

If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe. - Carl Sagan

The term is over: the holidays have begun. The dream is ended: this is the morning. - C S Lewis

Being defeated is often a temporary condition. Giving up is what makes it permanent. - Marilyn vos Savant

God made Adam first because he didn't want any advice from Eve how to make Adam. - Unknown

In Hollywood, the women are all peaches. It makes one long for an apple occasionally. - W Somerset Maugham

Adam and Eve had many advantages but the principal one was that they escaped teething. - Mark Twain

Education is when you read the fine print. Experience is what you get if you don't. - Pete Seeger

What a good thing Adam had. When he said a good thing, he knew nobody had said it before. - Mark Twain

Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own. - Robert A Heinlein

Only priests and fools are fearless and I've never been on the best of terms with God. - Patrick Rothfuss

Amnesia: The condition that enables a woman who has gone through labour to have sex again. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up. - Groucho Marx

Even if I knew that tomorrow the world would go to pieces, I would still plant my apple tree. - Martin Luther

For a war to be just three conditions are necessary - public authority, just cause, right motive. - Ernest Hemingway

New Year's Eve, where auld acquaintance be forgot. Unless, of course, those tests come back positive. - Jay Leno

It used to take me all vacation to grow a new hide in place of the one they flogged off me during school term. - Mark Twain

The habit of being happy enables one to be freed, or largely freed, from the domination of outward conditions. - Robert Louis Stevenson

Compassion is one of the few things we can practice that will bring immediate and long-term happiness to our lives. - Dalai Lama

Spend your time with those who love you unconditionally, not with those who love you only when the condition is right for them. - Unknown

If you think in terms of a year, plant a seed; if in terms of ten years, plant trees; if in terms of 100 years, teach the people. - Confucius

Feeling sorry for yourself, and your present condition, is not only a waste of energy but the worst habit you could possibly have. - Dale Carnegie

We hear voices in solitude, we never hear in the hurry and turmoil of life; we receive counsels and comforts we get under no other condition. - Amelia Barr

I mean, there's no arguing. There is no anything. There is no beating around the bush. "You're fired" is a very strong term. - Donald Trump

The media have provided the Devil with perhaps the greatest opportunity accorded him since Adam and Eve were turned out of the Garden of Eden. - Malcolm Muggeridge

Like a prisoner awaiting his release, like a schoolboy when the end of term is near, like a migrant bird ready to fly south... I long to be gone. - Malcolm Muggeridge