#1 humor site on the 'net

Read The Fine Print

The first people not to read Apple's terms and conditions

Read The Fine Print thanks to Warren Ralston

A sign guide to legal due diligence in a Church setting

QuotaBills
Ancestry is a hereditary condition. - Unknown

Life is too short for long-term grudges. - Elon Musk

On Time: An obscure term, meaning unknown - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

To be a poet is a condition, not a profession. - Robert Frost

When I go I'll take New Year's Eve with me. - Guy Lombardo

The big print giveth and the fine print taketh away. - Fulton J Sheen

Don't think your condition is good enough; KNOW IT! - Unknown

Panic is not an effective long-term organizing strategy. - Starhawk

Juvenile Delinquency: Modern term for what we did as kids - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Conservatives define themselves in terms of what they oppose. - George Will

I think in terms of the day's resolutions, not the year's. - Henry Moore

It is not clear that intelligence has any long-term survival value. - Stephen Hawking

The first condition of understanding a foreign country is to smell it. - Rudyard Kipling

God created Adam lord of all living creatures, but Eve spoiled it all. - Martin Luther

All the honesty in the world ain't legal tender for a loaf of bread. - Josh Billings

Civilization is a movement and not a condition, a voyage and not a harbor. - Arnold J. Toynbee

Behold the warranty. The bold print giveth and the fine print taketh away. - Unknown

Washington, D.C.: Where the criminals cover their crimes by making them legal. - Frank Dane

Statistics show that of those who contract the habit of eating, very few survive. - Wallace Irwin

God made Adam first because he didn't want any advice from Eve how to make Adam. - Unknown

Adam and Eve had many advantages but the principal one was that they escaped teething. - Mark Twain

"Absorption of overhead" is one of the most obscene terms I have ever heard. - Peter F Drucker

Only priests and fools are fearless and I've never been on the best of terms with God. - Patrick Rothfuss

Amnesia: The condition that enables a woman who has gone through labour to have sex again. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If a man dies and leaves his estate in an uncertain condition, the lawyers become his heirs. - Edgar Watson Howe

If you wait for perfect conditions to seize an opportunity, you'll be waiting till the day you die. - Mark Batterson

The role of the teacher is to create the conditions for invention rather than provide ready-made knowledge. - Seymour Papert

Some habits of ineffectiveness are rooted in our social conditioning toward quick-fix, short-term thinking. - Stephen Covey

The mind of a bigot is like the pupil of the eye. The more light you shine on it, the more it will contract. - Oliver Wendell Homes, Jr.

The legal system is often a mystery, and we, its priests, preside over rituals baffling to everyday citizens. - Henry G. Miller

It used to take me all vacation to grow a new hide in place of the one they flogged off me during school term. - Mark Twain

The habit of being happy enables one to be freed, or largely freed, from the domination of outward conditions. - Robert Louis Stevenson

There are two primary choices in life: to accept conditions as they exist, or accept the responsibility for changing them. - Denis Waitley

Thirty was so strange for me. I've really had to come to terms with the fact that I am now a walking and talking adult. - C S Lewis

Spend your time with those who love you unconditionally, not with those who love you only when the condition is right for them. - Unknown

If you think in terms of a year, plant a seed; if in terms of ten years, plant trees; if in terms of 100 years, teach the people. - Confucius

Feeling sorry for yourself, and your present condition, is not only a waste of energy but the worst habit you could possibly have. - Dale Carnegie

Sometimes a miracle is a change in material conditions, such as physical healing. At other times, it is a psychological or emotional change. - Marianne Williamson

I mean, there's no arguing. There is no anything. There is no beating around the bush. "You're fired" is a very strong term. - Donald Trump

If I were not a physicist, I would probably be a musician. I often think in music. I live my daydreams in music. I see my life in terms of music. - Albert Einstein


Pets Come First

If You Need Space

Economy Flight

Redneck Hailstone Damage

Wet Tents

Redneck Flu Shot

Japanese Diving Platform

All Mine

Cat Swimming at the Olympics

Yoga Food

Paint Room

Beer Cheers

Olympic Preparations

Row Your Goat

My Kind Of Exercise

Surround Sound for Babies

Cemetery Protest

Clean Senior Citizens

Taco Bell Secret Seasoning

Goodbye Tattoo

What Goes Round Comes Round

Augustweggen

Scary Ice Cream

Orca Siting