#1 humor site on the 'net

Read The Fine Print

The first people not to read Apple's terms and conditions

Read The Fine Print thanks to Warren Ralston

A sign guide to legal due diligence in a Church setting

QuotaBills
Ancestry is a hereditary condition. - Unknown

In rock music terms I'm like a dinosaur. - Belinda Carlisle

Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms. - Groucho Marx

The big print giveth and the fine print taketh away. - Fulton J Sheen

A verbal contract isn't worth the paper it's written on. - Samuel Goldwyn

I think in terms of the day's resolutions, not the year's. - Henry Moore

Every man regards his own life as the New Year’s Eve of time. - Jean Paul Richter

It is not clear that intelligence has any long-term survival value. - Stephen Hawking

Success is a science; if you have the conditions, you get the result. - Oscar Wilde

Science is a differential equation. Religion is a boundary condition. - Alan Turing

Companies need connections to the markets to create long-term loyalty. - Charlene Bernoff

The first condition of understanding a foreign country is to smell it. - Rudyard Kipling

If it weren't for my adam's apple, I'd have no shape at all. - Phyllis Diller

Civilization is a movement and not a condition, a voyage and not a harbor. - Arnold J. Toynbee

In terms of being late or not starting at all, then it's never too late. - Alison Headley

An economist is a man who states the obvious in terms of the incomprehensible. - Alfred A. Knopf

No object is so beautiful that, under certain conditions, it will not look ugly. - Oscar Wilde

Statistics show that of those who contract the habit of eating, very few survive. - Wallace Irwin

If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe. - Carl Sagan

Work and play are words used to describe the same thing under differing conditions. - Mark Twain

In Hollywood, the women are all peaches. It makes one long for an apple occasionally. - W Somerset Maugham

Adam and Eve had many advantages but the principal one was that they escaped teething. - Mark Twain

Hollywood is a place where they place you under contract instead of under observation. - Walter Winchell

Education is when you read the fine print. Experience is what you get if you don't. - Pete Seeger

I built my church on Easter services, Christmas Eve services, and Norman Vincent Peale. - Robert H. Schuller

Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own. - Robert A. Heinlein

Only priests and fools are fearless and I've never been on the best of terms with God. - Patrick Rothfuss

Democracy does not guarantee equality of conditions - it only guarantees equality of opportunity. - Irving Kristol

For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing. - H L Mencken

For a war to be just three conditions are necessary - public authority, just cause, right motive. - Ernest Hemingway

New Year's Eve, where auld acquaintance be forgot. Unless, of course, those tests come back positive. - Jay Leno

The legal system is often a mystery, and we, its priests, preside over rituals baffling to everyday citizens. - Henry G. Miller

It used to take me all vacation to grow a new hide in place of the one they flogged off me during school term. - Mark Twain

There are two kinds of fears: rational and irrational- or in simpler terms, fears that make sense and fears that don't. - Lemony Snicket

If you think in terms of a year, plant a seed; if in terms of ten years, plant trees; if in terms of 100 years, teach the people. - Confucius

I see history as really cyclical in terms of the intense idealism, and the desire to create a better life outside of societal norms. - Lauren Groff

You don't need endless time and perfect conditions. Do it now. Do it today. Do it for twenty minutes and watch your heart start beating. - Barbara Sher

No theory is good unless it permits, not rest, but the greatest work. No theory is good except on condition that one use it to go on beyond. - Andre Gide

We hear voices in solitude, we never hear in the hurry and turmoil of life; we receive counsels and comforts we get under no other condition. - Amelia Barr

I mean, there's no arguing. There is no anything. There is no beating around the bush. "You're fired" is a very strong term. - Donald Trump


Brick Road Laying in The Netherlands

Cat Love

Sawfish Sword

Babysitter Dog

Bag Feelers

Love Feeding Birds

Backup Grill

Yoda-Churchill

Royal Knit Wit

Make Loaf Not War

Topping The Charts

Passageway

Wet Suit Danger

Shopping With Grandma

Colorectal Exam For Dogs

Suitcase Recycling

1941 PTO Portable Sawmill

Leaky Pipes

Camel Photobomb

Teabucks

Diabetes Donation

Garmin Drive

CreepEye

Sleeping Guests