#1 humor site on the 'net

Read The Fine Print

The first people not to read Apple's terms and conditions

Read The Fine Print thanks to Warren Ralston

A sign guide to legal due diligence in a Church setting

QuotaBills
Life is too short for long-term grudges. - Elon Musk

On Time: An obscure term, meaning unknown - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

To be a poet is a condition, not a profession. - Robert Frost

Don't think your condition is good enough; KNOW IT! - Unknown

S.O.S.: A musical term meaning: ’Same Only Softer’ - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If Adam and Eve were alive today, they would probably sue the snake. - Bern Williams

Success is a science; if you have the conditions, you get the result. - Oscar Wilde

Science is a differential equation. Religion is a boundary condition. - Alan Turing

God created Adam lord of all living creatures, but Eve spoiled it all. - Martin Luther

All the honesty in the world ain't legal tender for a loaf of bread. - Josh Billings

Civilization is a movement and not a condition, a voyage and not a harbor. - Arnold J. Toynbee

Apple: Nutritious lunchtime dessert which children will trade for cupcakes. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

In terms of being late or not starting at all, then it's never too late. - Alison Headley

An economist is a man who states the obvious in terms of the incomprehensible. - Alfred A. Knopf

Washington, D.C.: Where the criminals cover their crimes by making them legal. - Frank Dane

No object is so beautiful that, under certain conditions, it will not look ugly. - Oscar Wilde

Statistics show that of those who contract the habit of eating, very few survive. - Wallace Irwin

If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe. - Carl Sagan

Being defeated is often a temporary condition. Giving up is what makes it permanent. - Marilyn vos Savant

Adam and Eve had many advantages but the principal one was that they escaped teething. - Mark Twain

Education is when you read the fine print. Experience is what you get if you don't. - Pete Seeger

I built my church on Easter services, Christmas Eve services, and Norman Vincent Peale. - Robert H. Schuller

I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up. - Groucho Marx

If a man dies and leaves his estate in an uncertain condition, the lawyers become his heirs. - Edgar Watson Howe

The legal system is often a mystery, and we, its priests, preside over rituals baffling to everyday citizens. - Henry G. Miller

The habit of being happy enables one to be freed, or largely freed, from the domination of outward conditions. - Robert Louis Stevenson

Mankind likes to think in terms of extreme opposites - between which it recognizes no intermediate possibilities. - John Dewey

Spare the rod and spoil the child - that is true. But, beside the rod, keep an apple to give him when he has done well. - Martin Luther

There are two primary choices in life: to accept conditions as they exist, or accept the responsibility for changing them. - Denis Waitley

If you want to kill an idea without being identified as the assassin, suggest that the legal department take a look at it. - Scott Adams

Technology is just a tool. In terms of getting the kids working together and motivating them, the teacher is the most important. - Bill Gates

I see history as really cyclical in terms of the intense idealism, and the desire to create a better life outside of societal norms. - Lauren Groff

When nature is my inspiration and subject, I am witness to an extraordinary range of color and every imaginable atmospheric condition. - Karen Casey

You don't need endless time and perfect conditions. Do it now. Do it today. Do it for twenty minutes and watch your heart start beating. - Barbara Sher

No theory is good unless it permits, not rest, but the greatest work. No theory is good except on condition that one use it to go on beyond. - Andre Gide

We hear voices in solitude, we never hear in the hurry and turmoil of life; we receive counsels and comforts we get under no other condition. - Amelia Barr

I mean, there's no arguing. There is no anything. There is no beating around the bush. "You're fired" is a very strong term. - Donald Trump

Dreams are renewable. No matter what our age or condition, there are still untapped possibilities within us and new beauty waiting to be born. - Dale Turner

If I were not a physicist, I would probably be a musician. I often think in music. I live my daydreams in music. I see my life in terms of music. - Albert Einstein

Like a prisoner awaiting his release, like a schoolboy when the end of term is near, like a migrant bird ready to fly south... I long to be gone. - Malcolm Muggeridge


Horse Hair

Best Hands-On Coverage

Pressing Art

Mask Alternatives

Watch Out For Deer!

Chinese Music School

Student Driver

iPad Not

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

It Even Has A Chimney

Seal Survival

www: Wagtail Windscreen Wiper

Water Dancer

Shopping Wait-er

Flamingo Imposter

Goat Tree

Ontario Spring Dining

Empty Birdhouse

180 Degrees From Ordinary

How To Float

Redneck Tank Top

Grasping Shirt

Detroit Counterfeit Bill

Hazardous Delivery