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Radar Speed Check

Ask Gary Burghoff to help fight your next speeding ticket

Radar Speed Check thanks to Howard Chapman

Radar O'Reilly is a sMASH road hit

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Police do not belong in war zones. - Daniel K Moran

OK, so what's the speed of dark? - Steven Wright

Goose Bumps: To keep geese from speeding - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Speed is life. Altitude is life insurance. - Unknown

Welcome the coming, speed the parting guest. - Homer

Speed is not a priority, just enjoy your hike. - Barry Putra

There is more to life than increasing its speed. - Mahatma Gandhi

Traffic Ticket: Finale of the policeman's bawl - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Walter Mondale has all the charisma of a speed bump. - Will Durst

The backbone of surprise is fusing speed with secrecy. - Von Clausewitz

The speed of the leader determines the rate of the pack. - Wayne Lukas

Once you're over the hill, you begin to pick up speed. - Charles M Shulz

Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks. - Steven Wright

Police Station: A place where sleeping is all right in a pinch - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I don't own a camera, so I travel with a police sketch artist. - George Carlin

Marriage is a lottery, but you can't tear up your ticket if you lose. - F.M. Knowles

I rented a lottery ticket. I won a million dollars. But I had to give it back. - Steven Wright

The police force cannot be completely independent of the executive government. - P Chidambaram

Ticket Scalper: A man who enables you to see one football game for the price of five - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A great athlete does not come from muscle, speed, and skill, but from the mind first. - Dan E. Welker

A real patriot is the fellow who gets a parking ticket and rejoices that the system works. - Bill Vaughan

There's only two people in your life you should lie to... the police and your girlfriend. - Jack Nicholson

The toilets at a local police station have been stolen. Police say they have nothing to go on. - Ronnie Corbett

A man has reached middle age when he is warned to slow down by his doctor instead of the police. - Unknown

A police force, wherever they are, is made up of amazing people, and I respect them a great deal. - Nancy McKeon

Police officers may drive black and white cars, however what goes on in their job is a lot of gray. - Arik Matson

I took a speed reading course and read "War and Peace" in twenty minutes. It involves Russia. - Woody Allen

The elderly don't drive that badly; they're just the only ones with time to do the speed limit. - Jason Love

If you haven't seen your wife smile at a traffic cop, you haven't seen her smile her prettiest. - Kin Hubbard

Women are like the police. They could have all the evidence in the world, but they still want the confession. - Chris Rock

I haven't reported my missing credit card to the police because whoever stole it is spending less than my wife. - Ilie Nastase

Speed Limit: The velocity one must exceed by approximately 10 MPH on a major highway or risk being run off the road - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

At the end of a marathon, it's going to hurt whether you're speeding up or slowing down. You may as well push. - Summer Sanders

I'm being kidnapped by a comforter, sheet and pillow. No need to call the police for I will be released by morning. - Unknown

It is impossible to travel faster than the speed of light, and certainly not desirable, as one's hat keeps blowing off. - Woody Allen

Long runs improve your endurance but shorter intervals improve your speed. They are mutually beneficial for a distance runner. - Eliud Kipchoge

I took a course in speed reading. Then I got Reader's Digest on microfilm. By the time I got the machine set up, I was done. - Steven Wright

When I was a kid, one cop could have taken care of the whole neighborhood. Now, one cop wouldn't be safe in the neighborhood. - Mike Royko

When you have police officers who abuse citizens, you erode public confidence in law enforcement. That makes the job of good police officers unsafe. - Mary F Berry

One of the fondest expressions around is that we can't be the world's policeman. But guess who gets called when suddenly someone needs a cop. - Colin Powell


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