#1 humor site on the 'net

Protractor Cook

Recipes for baking at the correct angle

Protractor Cook thanks to Emery Pettigrove

A baking Recipe disaster plan for men

Protractor Cook thanks to Emery Pettigrove

Note for an Engineer to prepare dinner that evening: 'Shepherd's Pie needs to be taken out of the fridge and placed in the oven at 120 degrees'

QuotaBills
Hunger is a good cook. - Proverb

Talk doesn't cook rice. - Chinese Proverb

Baking is science for hungry people. - Unknown

Math research is more like a marathon. - Terence Tao

Recipe for a happy husband: Fake and Bake. - Unknown

She did not so much cook as assassinate food. - Storm Jameson

Char: Common method of cooking over a campfire - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Me writing about tennis is like a baker baking bread. - Ion Tiriac

I am an expert in Higher Level Math: You + God = Enough - Zig Ziglar

Jello: The only food your husband has ever learned to cook - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I'm a terrible cook, but I make very good lobster salad. - Nancy Carell

My wife's such a bad cook, the dog begs for Alka-Seltzer. - Rodney Dangerfield

I'm a bit of a gourmet chef. I love cooking - mostly Thai food. - Will Ferrell

We are seldom aware of what's cooking until the pot boils over. - Amish Saying

Arbitrator: A cook that leaves Arby's to work for McDonald's. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time. - Steven Wright

Cooking Tip: Wrap turkey leftovers in aluminum foil and throw them out. - Nicole Hollander

Govern a great nation as you would cook a small fish. Do not overdo it. - Lao Tzu

If ever a chef were to cook a fly, he would keep the breast for himself. - Poland Proverb

My idea of baking is buying a ready-make cake mix and throwing in an egg. - Cilla Black

Happiness is largely an attitude of mind, of viewing life from the right angle. - Dale Carnegie

The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook. - Julia Child

When men reach their sixties and retire, they go to pieces. Women go right on cooking. - Gail Sheehy

A recipe is only a theme, which an intelligent cook can play each time with a variation. - Madame Benoit

There are 3 kinds of people in this world: those who are good at math, and those who aren't. - Unknown

The shoe that fits one person pinches another; there is no recipe for living that suits all cases. - Carl Jung

Breakfast is my favorite meal. I cook a big one for everyone - bacon and eggs. I own a lot of eggcups. - Emily Mortimer

The pursuit of truth is like picking raspberries. You miss a lot if you approach it from only one angle. - Randal Marlin

I refuse to believe that trading recipes is silly. Tuna-fish casserole is at least as real as corporate stock. - Barbara Harrison

I'm not always optimistic. You wouldn't have all cylinders cooking if you were always like Mary Poppins. - Carol Burnett

What my mother believed about cooking is that if you worked hard and prospered, someone else would do it for you. - Nora Ephron

The wonderful world of home appliances now makes it possible to cook indoors with charcoal and outdoors with gas. - Bill Vaughan

At the age of six I wanted to be a cook. At seven I wanted to be Napoleon. And my ambition has been growing steadily ever since. - Salvador Dali

I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and I think, "Well, that's not going to happen." - Unknown

I love cookies baking. During the winter, they have these candles that smell like cookies, and I always buy like a hundred of them. - Jared Padalecki

There is one thing more exasperating than a spouse who can cook and won't... and that's a spouse who can't cook and will. - Robert Frost

Doctors are saying that each piece of bacon you eat takes 9 minutes off of your life. Based on that math, I should have died in 1732. - Unknown

Mancation: A man's vacation. Generally includes lots of beer, a Redneck grill, slabs of meat for cooking and a sack of fireworks. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Instead of doing cinnamon, nutmeg, and all those baking spices I'll have one spice that's for sweets, and that's pumpkin pie spice. - Sandra Lee

I cook croquetas, and I eat jamon. I keep my diet 100% Mediterranean and drink my Rioja. In that sense, I have a piece of Spain in West Hollywood. - Paz Vega


Bland Entrance

Cruising Advice

Cat Dugout

Open Drive Through

Secret Revealed

Tired Flagpole

Bent Car Sculpture

Cow Jacket

Thanks For Noticing

Overflow Truck Garden

Beach Sign Training

Encouraging Seal

GMC Pool

Nature Calls

You're Home Early

New Nail Gun

Long Noodles

EMS Upgrade

No Pot Of Gold

Graduation Swag

Monkeypox

Pre-Dinner Photography

Curses, Foiled Again

Ant Virus